#good actually

Wednesday i went to a concert with my friend and it was fun, it was nonstop smiles and laughs, It went too fast in fact. I was so high out of mind that I felt every moment from that night. I kept tapping my foot like a cat kneading bread because if i stopped i felt like i would float away and touch the ceiling. I also don’t remember moving at all it felt like the floor was moving like in the jamiroquai music video. Omg my ears were ringing the following day. Hearing songs played from that night come out on shuffle make me smile now

On Saturday i went to a small independent anime convention/ tournament. And that day started really shitty. Cause I haven’t woken up at 9am on purpose in forever and i couldn’t sleep. And I gott out the shower and just saw a bunch of texts from my sis berating me and blaming me for my mom’s mental illness which is like 🤨🤨🤨 okay but still hurt to read even though it’s not grounded in reality. So i was already finished crying when my friend picked me up but then he was like “hey i got you something” and it was a brand new gamecube controller cause all three of mine are broken and ugh 🥺🥺🥺 and then i really started crying cause my other friend in the car said here you go and it was a home cooked meal. It was a giant hashbrown, chicken and eggs and no one’s ever made me a cooked meal before 🥺😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺😭 so I was stuffing my face and crying before we even got to the venue. And it was pretty fun. I saw a lot of cool cosplayers, and food, and the artist alley. It was intimate and cute cause like ax is tooo big to enjoy anymore so i felt kinda nostalgic browsing around shops. I was genuinely sad i couldn’t do commentary cause my voice was still so gone 😭😭😭 but it’s always like “really????? You want me??? On the microphone??? :3 :3 :3 :3”

I thought i’d be fried enough to zonk when i got home but i wasn’t i was up till like 4am and i had an alarm for 9am again and i was annoyed as hell‼️‼️

But sunday came and I went to the beach. And i love the beach even though it’s so physically exhausting. I was just skipping around the shoreline listening to Japanese breakfast and feeling insignificant against the tide and waves. We had a cooler full of lunchables and booze. I got this strawberry margarita mix that just absorbs everything it comes in contact with. every chaser fell victim to it.

I went to go watch demon slayer after. And i got home and showered thinking oh man were gonna knocknout after this but i didn’t and i didn’t sleep and i got a hangover.

I wish i didn’t get sick the week prior cause i knew what was in store. And i wanted to talk more with everyone and I’m truly happy to just be around people who care about me and it’s nice to get out of the house and out of my head and i didn’t want it to end but I’m also tired and i haven’t had a moment to decompress and feel the days separate it’s all one blur in my head.