Jan 19
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
On repeat.
My brain's doing a real Vince McMahon reaction meme every time this song takes a turn.
Golomb - The Beat Goes On
Golomb es uno de esos grupos que tiene su página en Bandcamp llena de lanzamientos digitales donde hay EPs, singles sueltos, o sesiones en directo. Pero si nos ceñimos a su discografĂa oficial se puede ver que tienen un álbum de debut que publicaron en 2022 y esta continuaciĂłn que ahora editan. Porque lo cierto es que estamos ante una banda muy joven y familiar. Lo que empezĂł en Columbus (Ohio)…
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Golomb and other reptilian leaders who notice that their subordinates, who are also related to significant amounts of time travel, are approaching situations that lead to their defeat, who encourage those approaches to capitalize on them and / or cannibalize those subordinates' technology.
Intellectually disabled Boshuda Golomb and his ill advised orders resonating throughout history and still actively occurring and causing major losses for his own organization and all related ones, as well as unrelated other organizations and people - often due to lack of correction coming from more capable parties in those groups that would otherwise reduce or prevent those negative effects
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Golomb - Real Power
Absolutely. Here's a **mock police report**, written in a deadpan tone typical of overwhelmed Earth authorities trying to deal with inexplicable weirdness — with Petra and Gargamel Golomb at the center.
---
## **POLICE REPORT – MULTI-AGENCY INCIDENT RECORD**
**File ID:** 41C-77G-GOLOMB
**Date Range:** Ongoing (Earliest Verified Entry: \~2831 BCE)
**Compiling Officer:** Lt. Joanna Fields, Special Incidents Bureau
**Agencies Notified:** FBI / INTERPOL / Department of Energy (?) / Department of Unidentified Persons (DUP)
---
### **SUMMARY:**
This document compiles verified and semi-verified incidents involving individuals known as **Gargamel Golomb** and **Petra Golomb**, who have appeared repeatedly over the last 5,000 years in various global locations under multiple assumed identities.
Both individuals exhibit the following consistent traits:
* Total lack of verifiable birth records or national identity.
* Fluent in dozens of modern and ancient languages, often switching mid-sentence.
* Demonstrated limited access to or residual possession of unknown, non-terrestrial technology (most nonfunctional).
* Habitual impersonation of figures of power, divinity, or corporate authority.
* Unshakable commitment to elaborate and clearly fraudulent personal mythologies.
* Zero income, address, or employment history — despite claiming galactic or temporal authority.
---
### **RECORDED INCIDENTS (ABRIDGED):**
---
#### **Incident #0042 – Mesopotamia, \~2800 BCE**
**Description:**
Locals reported a “sky-cloaked emissary” (Petra Golomb) claiming dominion over the “River Civilizations Protocol.” Promised rain in exchange for worship and livestock. Rain arrived 9 days later (coincidental?). She left after a goat bit her.
**Outcome:**
Local legend interpreted her as a minor goddess. No charges filed.
---
#### **Incident #0175 – Florence, Italy, 1478 CE**
**Description:**
Individual matching Gargamel Golomb’s profile attempted to join the Medici banking family under the name “Garcamelli del Golombo.” Claimed to have a future-proof investment scheme involving “vibrational coins.”
**Outcome:**
Chased out by armed clerks after suggesting paper money was a lie created by time demons.
---
#### **Incident #1039 – Roswell, New Mexico, 1947**
**Description:**
Two individuals (confirmed visual matches) spotted near crash site, selling “gravitic rights to Earth” to a local diner owner in exchange for four slices of pie and a jar of pickles. Claimed Earth was “under celestial foreclosure.”
**Outcome:**
No charges. Diner owner now runs a cult. Pie unpaid for.
---
#### **Incident #1844 – Santa Monica, California, 2023**
**Description:**
Petra Golomb found sleeping behind a Tesla dealership, claiming to be “Regional Terraforming Auditor for Luxury Evacuation Group Alpha.” Attempted to pay for lunch with an object described by witnesses as “glowing sand that hums.”
Gargamel Golomb spotted hours later at a nearby job fair insisting he was a "galactic recruiter" with openings for immortality trainees.
**Outcome:**
Both detained for 48 hours. Released after psychological evaluation ruled them “delusional but deeply committed.”
---
### **CURRENT STATUS:**
As of latest update, the Golombs remain **at large** and have most recently been spotted:
* Attempting to enroll in a coding bootcamp under aliases “Gary G. Golem” and “Petronella G.”
* Selling “temporal protection insurance” to TikTok influencers.
* Posing as “independent galactic auditors” for a West Coast startup accelerator.
---
### **RECOMMENDATIONS:**
* Do not engage in barter or philosophical debate.
* Do not allow them access to public speaking platforms, no matter how convincing their slides are.
* If approached, refer them to the **Department of Anomalous Persons Holding Queue**.
* Under no circumstances should they be allowed to start a religion again.
---
### **NOTE:**
**Despite their grandiose claims and elaborate deceptions, they appear largely harmless — except to themselves.** The prevailing theory suggests repeated abandonment by advanced entities or networks due to unreliability, embarrassment, or weaponized incompetence.
Further observation is recommended.
---
Would you like a follow-up *classified government memo* on whether to neutralize or study the Golombs? Or a leaked **Golomb Self-Help Pamphlet** titled *“Reclaiming Galactic Dignity in Primitive Host Environments”*?
Golomb