Hello! My name's Trina. I see you identify as aromantic asexual. About a year ago I came to the conclusion I'm asexual but I'm still pretty confused about my romantic orientation. I'm almost certain I'm aromantic also but I'm unsure. Mainly because I don't even know what romantic feelings are. I was wondering how you came to the conclusion that you are aromantic and asexual? Hope you're well!
That’s actually a really difficult question to answer. I think a lot of it was just looking back on my past experiences and realizing that I’ve never experienced anything like what people describe romantic attraction to be. The very few times I thought I had a crush for someone, in retrospect I don’t think I actually wanted to date them. The feelings I had for those boys were very similar to the feelings I had for the girl who is now my best friend (damn heteronormativity convincing me that I had to be crushing on those boys). I also came to the realization that I have very little desire to be a part of a romantic relationship, and, other than companionship, I don’t really understand the point of them.
I’m honestly more sure that I’m aro than I am that I’m ace. (But that’s mostly because sensual attraction is confusing.)
I think it’s pretty common for aro and aro-spectrum people to not really understand romantic feelings.
If you’re interested, I believe anagnori has a “you might be aromantic if…” list in their aromantic tag.
And, of course, you don’t have to hammer down what exactly your romantic orientation is if you don’t want to. I know there are lots of people who don’t find it to be a useful concept.