first of all i love you??? so much????

second:  okay,  so the idea of higher powers  having power over her makes wenyouna boil with rage,  &  so an archangel to her would be a messenger to them,  so i think if she found one she’d be happy to watch them SUFFER.   its like uprooting precious flowers from the ground while looking the gardener straight into the eye, a dangerous challenge she’d take upon herself to see how far she can poke  &  prod at whoever thinks they are ABOVE her.  &  like i know archangels are supposed to be EXTREMELY powerful, but so is Wen. not only is she part-Jidukkann, a species that has evolved beyond this material realm         so much that they continuously exist in part on the spiritual level & interact with it regularly       , but she also has something that is LIKE mini black hole in the center of her, a thing that has the gravitational diameter hundreds of times its size, which not even light can escape.

she can grow to the size of an asteroid,  consume the very essence of what makes a person,   &  has made self-proclaimed deities shake with her destructive promises. she is long gone from the fragile woman with no control.  even if Xiuying was a good person,   in Wen’s eyes Xiu is everything she is not,   &  Wenyouna enjoys being a herald of chaos.  so no, she would fight anything that dared to reverse her effort to become what she is now. queen of beasts.

Wen doesn’t get SCARED,   she gets angry,   she gets furious, she gets excited. but sometimes, in very rare times when she is contemplating  &  allows her mind to wander,   she remembers that she is on time she stole from Death,  &  remembers that her hunger will only ever grow,   &  then she truly feels the weight of everything on her shoulders,  &  sometimes it feels heavier than every ocean combined,  &  she fears if she’ll be able to continue to handle it all.

what    is    his    relationship     with     the     hierarchy    of    angels   ?

he respects the hierarchy of angels and he doesn’t think it’s without a reason or unfair or somehow degrading to the lower levels of this hierarchy . he is somebody who does believe every creature has it’s role on earth . there’s a reason nephilims are never that strong like angels for example but they can face demons easily . so he thinks angels having their roles and their levels is natural and he is respectful of the hierarchy of angels . however if he is to meet any angel be it the lowest level or the highest he gives them the same respectful treatment since even the lowest level is above his soul and above his creation therefore he has no reason to doubt them . 

how    would    he    deal    with    the     fact    of     being    watched    by     an    archangel ?

it would make him feel anxious ABOVE ALL , not because he feels like he has something to hide . he is very direct and honest about his sins . he doesn’t fear the final judgement . he is fully responsible of his actions but the thing is , his mother is a fallen one and he is her child . the idea of an archangel watching over him makes him nervous . he cares about how angels see him , how an archangel sees him . he doesn’t want to disappoint , he doesn’t want to be a shame to the angels . he would prefer being a shame to god than an archangel . any angel is technically family to him as much as his father’s siblings are . he sort of sees them as the family he always will try to impress but never be good enough to . even if he doesn’t show it , it tortures him . he wants so badly to be worthy in their eyes . one of the reasons he remains religious are angels so an archangel watching him means  to him so much hunour but also so much stress , a chance to prove himself and there’s one chance to not fuck it up .   

is   he   close   to    god   ,   does    he   want    to     change    himself    ? 

when he was a child he felt really close to god , he was the one going to the church , he was the one praying every night . he was the one telling his human father how great god is . he was the reason his father dedicated himself to god , so much that he became the priest of his little town in a very important church in their place . however as he grew older and he was exposes to more & more sins , to more human mistakes and his soul started to change he started distancing from god . not that he felt no respect or love for him . he did and does that’s why he feels hurt and denied ( but this is also his non developed powers that are mostly about connecting with heaven ) but this hurt makes him focus more on angels . he is really amazed about them and in the end he stays true to god but if it wasn’t for the angels he wouldn’t be so stubborn in it . the only thing he judges god and acting hubris for how he treats angels . he doesn’t see why his mother was banished . the little he knows is that she never did anything alike to lucifer . what she did is create life . she didn’t harm humans until the point she was fed up . he’s seeing it from a subjective side but he doesn’t really support the judgement on his most loyal and greatest creatures . his heart will always belong more to the angels than god . 

therefore he doesn’t really want to change himself , he just wishes he could know more of what is really going on between god and the angels to know where to believe in . his doubts are mostly involved around the missing knowledge he has . otherwise he is okay with himself and often even proud . he has a confident personality because after all , being a nephilim in a word surrounded by so many dark creatures and all your family and friends being human requires you strong because if they come it’s him who has to protect them so he cannot afford insecurity . 

is   there    something    he    is    to    afraid    to    wish    for   ? 

he is afraid of meeting angels that have a place in heaven and his mother too , he is afraid of the consequences of his wish , he in no way wants to be a disappointment to them . he wants to be worthy . he doesn’t want to be a mistake in their eyes . mostly not from the highest ranks or his mother , even if she is a fallen one . he just cannot ever speak that wish out and if he does his whole body will tremble . denial from the angels is not something he is ready to face . 

which   emotion    is    he    closest    too   ?

he is calm , too calm . being so strong with his spiritual powers . connecting to souls even in form of ghosts kind of puts him in a world between life & death . this making him a really calm creature . he is never going to scream or yell , he is never going to physically attack someone . everyone happens from mind to mind . he is peaceful , he feels peaceful . he is peaceful , he prefers peaceful . if any emotion defines him is that of being peaceful . in those 20+ years of his life , he has done mistakes , he has done sins but he never really caused something big to anger any side ( heaven / hell ) he always has been there with his beliefs , co-existing with different beliefs than his and he doesn’t care to change his own . he just expects to be left in peace and as long as he is being left in peace he will never harm a soul and feel comfortable and peaceful in his community . 

oh,                please    finish!            so    much   goes    on    revolved   around    dex    and   watching    my    boy   go    completely    mad   was    painful    to   watch.            i    guess   if    you’re    alright   with    spoilers    i’ll   post    this    with   a    cut    so   others    aren’t.        *        @godshilt .