#goblin-deity

Hawke woke up in his bed, with an empty spot on his mattress whereMerrill would normally be. He instinctively reached out to check it, noting thatthe bed was still warm, and sat up, taking a few deep breaths to slow his pulsedown after it’d briefly skyrocketed.

Swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress, he startedpondering the next question that came to mind, namely where Merrill was. Idlygazing at the rectangle of light on the floor by the window growing brighter asthe sun rose above the horizon, he was trying to recall if she’d mentionedwhether she had something to do early in the morning.

He was sadly coming up short, his fingernails running along hisscalp not helping to jog his memory either. Hopefully he hadn’t said somethingto offend her last night, or yesterday for that matter. No, not that he couldrecall.

In fact, they hadn’t really had much in the way of privateconversation whilst they were clearing the Coterie out from Darktown—again—giventhat they’d been in the company of Aveline and Isabela the whole time, andmoreover anything been said was probably giving each other heads-ups on yetmore assassins, or an apostate throwing fireballs at them from around thecorner. They hadn’t said much when they came back and washed up, either.

Well, maybe it was best to ask her in person…wherever she was. Hawkethrew on his robe and found his slippers, sensing the scent of breakfast as heheaded downstairs, finally seeing Merrill fussing between the kitchen and themain hall, wearing an apron probably appropriated from Orana and finallycarrying out a large pot contained something full of spices and flavours.

Noticing that Hawke was coming downstairs, she deposited it on thetable, greeting him, “Oh, good morning, Hawke! You’re finally up.”

“Good morning, Merrill,” Hawke said, reaching the bottom of thestairs. “What’s all this about, then?”

“I’d been planning this for a while, actually,” Merrill said,untying the apron and tossing it over a chair. “I’d noticed some herbs wesometimes use for our furmenty on the Storm Coast so in between slicing upTal-Vashoth I thought I’d make something traditional.”

“Well, this is fantastic, Merrill, but you really didn’t have to—”

“Oh, I won’t hear that,” she said, “We’ve cooked for each other awhole lot, so consider this a favour returned, with nice ingredients thistime.”

Hawke considered the gruel in his bowl, holding a spoonful up. “Areyou saying the stew I cook on the road doesn’t have nice ingredients init?”

Merrill pondered the question for the briefest of moments. “Well,no.”

“Oh.”

“Not that you’re choosing not to, I meant! It’s just that werarely have the chance to cook with fresh herbs, so…oh just try it already,Hawke,” Merrill ordered tenderly.

“Very well,” Hawke said, taking a sip. The taste blossomed in hismouth, savoury on the tip of his tongue, then peppery as it danced on hispalate, leaving behind a pleasant aftertaste as he swallowed it down. Looking overto Merrill, he mouthed through the remainder of the frumenty, “This isdelicious! You know, when I woke up this morning and didn’t see you there, Iwas concerned I’d something wrong, but this is—”

“About that,” Merrill said seriously, putting her own spoon down.

One could hear a pin, or a spoon, drop.

Hawke slowly turned his gaze to her as he slowly relaxed his armenough to put his spoon in his bowl, saying, “Well, seeing as you’ve managed tosuccessfully entrap me with breakfast—”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she huffed, “I wanted to eat this anyway.That’s totally unrelated.”

“In that case, what is this about, Merrill?”, Hawke askedhesitantly, fiddling with his fingers.

Merrill tilted her head coyly, asking, “Did you know you talk inyour sleep? It’s actually quite cute, you know.”

“I…have been told, yes,” Hawke said. “What was it that Isaid?”

“Oh, nothing. Just her name.”

Hawke froze. Of all the women that Hawke knew, only one had such alooming presence over him that even a pronoun referring to her could be saidwith such acridity. Namely, his former employer and sexual partner (Lover? Thatword wasn’t in her lexicon.)

Drawing a breath, he tried to explain, “Merrill—”

“And it wasn’t even in full. You muttered ‘Thenni’ a couple of timesearly in the morning. Hawke, I just need to know: how much do you still thinkabout her?”

He shook his head. “Never. Not consciously. Maybe something aboutcarving up Coterie thugs must have brought some memories of working in hercrew. That’s all.”

Merrill sighed, staring into her cereal. “I suppose you’re right,Hawke. It’s just that for someone who was such a large part of your life…”

Hawke said, reaching out for her hand. “No, you weren’t wrong inbringing this up. We had an arrangement on top of my contract, and while Ithought I was getting everything I wanted, she was just using that while shewas using me. It took a long time, and meeting you, to figure out that itwasn’t healthy. Not our relationship, not our contract…none of it. I know I’drather crawl in a bottle than talk about it previously, but I think you’reright.”

Merrill curled her fingers, gently holding Hawke’s palm, and noddedin comprehension. “You don’t have to, not right now. But…thank you, Hawke.”

“Thank you, Merrill,” Hawke said. “I think it’s about time Iaired it out, and if I can’t with you, there’s nobody else I can. I don’t knowif I can ever truly get past what she did to me, but I know I have to try.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” she said with a smile. “Now come on,finish your breakfast. It’s getting cold, and I’d hate to see all my hard workthis morning go to waste.”

“Understood, messere,” Hawke said, releasing her hand and getting towork on it. “Shall we go back down to the Wounded Coast today?”

“Well, if you’re dealing with those Tal-Vashoth again, I couldcertainly help you whilst getting more of these. Let me know if you find thosetrees with the sharp pointy flowers. They’re red. It’s the bark which is givingthe frumenty that particular kick.”

Hawke gulped down another mouthful, smiling as he said, “I’ll besure to do so.”

As it so passed, it was a peaceful day on the Wounded Coast, andthey were able to pick out their ingredients relatively undisturbed, enjoyingit the next morning—and Hawke even helped out this time.

=

36. What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

They’re like Esme and Mason and it’s all about the communication, only they’re both so much more aware about it. Instead of shared looks, they actually talk things out and will probably discuss things at length for however long they need to until they find a happy middle ground. They’re very open about what they want from each other and their future! 

As for weaknesses, though, I imagine a lot of it comes from her. She doesn’t get positive relationships at the start because she hasn’t really had any. Before Nate it was Bobby and after Bobby, it was a bunch of awkward ghostings on tiny potential relationships and one-night-stands. So sometimes he might talk to her, is unbearably sweet about something she’s frazzled over, and it’s like walking face first into a door being slammed shut. But thankfully, she’s comfortable around him so any attempt at walling off tends to be brief and apologies tend to come from both sides. 

Esme/Mason

31. Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?

If they do finish each other’s sentences, it’s unintentional (and happens more than Mason believes) and would probably amuse Esme to no end. Mason would pretend it didn’t actually happen or doesn’t notice lol. As for phrases, he probably whispers ‘Shoot’ at one point instead of his colorful language and Felix doesn’t let him live it down - Esme probably also swears a little more, too lol. I’m not sure if they pick up each other’s habits! I can see her imitating his body language though, especially if she’s beside him. 

35. Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?