#globrightss

from least to most likely:

season 13

dennis is a bastard man who has shoved himself even further into the closet now that mac is out. someone get him out of there. however the chances that they fucked are nonzero .

season 12

idk man i just don’t get mac and dennis were banging vibes from this season i think because it focuses so heavily on emotional development for both of them. they might’ve fucked tho. always a chance.

season 2

they definitely angry fucked after mac bangs dennis’ mom but like, overall? not banging. sadly.

season 3

mac said i love you and pretended to blow dennis so like… there’s that. they banged at least once. minimum. honorary mention to the fatty magoo dress which dennis quite possibly wore while mac fucked his brains out.

season 6

this is post-breakup and they absolutely had makeup sex after dennis divorced maureen however based on break up i think they wouldn’t have maintained any kind of steady banging because of mac’s internalized homophobia. they fucked the one time tho. also maybe slash probably when they were drunk and slept at the bar. also maybe slash probably had angry sex after dennis got to meet chase utley and talked mac’s ear off for days about how sexy chase was.

season 9

i don’t really have any solid proof but like. come on. mac and dennis buy a timeshare??? y’all see that shit??? there’s also l*thal w**pon with the shower scene so they definitely went home and fucked. they banged more times this season. i know it in my tits.

season 7

fat mac. sexy. need i say more.

season 11

one word: suburbs.

season 10

the gang spies like us. like it’s right there. blatantly. almost canon. they were fucking. see also: revenge sex after misses the boat and dennis straight up calling mac sexy and creating a cult so he can see him work out.

season 4

my personal take on the mac and dennis were banging in season 5 theory is that they first fucked after the nightman cometh and it became more frequent from there until they were regularly banging and essentially in a relationship by the time mortgage crisis rolled around.

season 8

i want you to get off with me. mac trying to kiss dennis in public. dennis being jealous of trevor. dennis trying to get mac to have a gay threesome with him. dennis fantasizing about sucking dick. the way mac looks at him in the car in cereal defense. the way dennis looks at him in the beginning of gets analyzed. THE GANG DINES OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they were banging babes!

season 5

oh okay this is actually easy! 

the gang ranked by their likelihood to break out in song:

dennis: he always has 80s bops stuck in his head and he’s VERY likely to burst out singing them as soon as he’s alone; he gets caught doing this often. he’s also the most likely member of the group to orchestrate an elaborate scheme that hinges on them singing

charlie: canonically spends his time fucking around on the keyboard seeing what sticks, WILL sing his little biconic heart out until his voice attracts the cats and they step on his piano too much and he can’t continue

mac: obviously. he’s the most likely to seek out opportunities to sing but he hasn’t found that many yet, which brings him down the list…maybe he can join church choir next season or something. he also 100% can’t sing which is why dennis won’t buy him a karaoke macahine; if he had one, he’d be higher on the list. likes to sing along to their mixtapes in the car

dee: doesn’t sing much, but has the voice of an angel. most likely to try out for a musical. lives alone so probably sings just to make some noise when she’s home (her neighbors loathe her)

frank: homophobic. does not sing unless charlie makes him

the gang ranked by their likelihood to break out in dance:

mac: he’s probably coming up with new dance moves right now as we speak! he likes to do the choreography for charlie’s songs and he’s been caught dancing on multiple occasions (quarantined, turning ocd into dance-like moves in mac’s mom burns her house down, learning ballet)

dennis: thinks he likes to dance but actually just likes to swivel his hips like a slut. isn’t so much going to break out in dance as he wants mac to wine, dine, & take him slow dancing. if they can grind, that’s cool too

dee: arguably tied with dennis. can’t dance for shit but likes to bust out her moves anyway. is very likely to audition for musicals as much for the choreography aspect as the singing aspect

charlie: can’t dance, but VERY willing to bust out his 8th grade Berlin choreography whenever he thinks the opportunity presents itself. mostly dances to prove a point/win at something, but will do the “butt dance” to make his friends laugh too - that’s more about friendship than dance, though

@chelseperetti

does she like chelsea peretti or somethin 🤔🤔🤔

i love soph! she could work on her comedy tho 🤪 she should also maybe sleep more (and earlier)

AND HEY COME VISIT ME WHILE YOU’RE IN AMERICA OKAY

🐷 - fave junk food

okay well first of all no food is ‘junk’ and ascribing moral value to the things u consume only serves to encourage the puritan dichotomy of good/bad through fatphobic propaganda and the diet industry’s iron-clad hold on individuals, especially women, who are taught to restrain themselves into smaller, quieter, more self-disciplining versions of themselves 

......,.that being said, brownies are pretty great

🌼 - fave flower

carnations!! but also hydrangeas & lavender 

whassaaaaaaaaaaaap i hope i do this justice michelle icon queen legend

1. dennis. raging homosexual that touches mac like he needs air to breathe. became a realtor, a trash man, uber driver, bird of war, gay bartender, cult creator, turd investigator, stripper, gun owner, model, hippie, football player, manhunter, restaurant-goer, actor, boat owner, timeshare buyer, allllll for men babey! 10/10

2. frank is second, why? he’s rlly close with mac now that he’s out and stared at his smokin bod while dancing, coincidence? i think not ://////////// 8/10

3. mac bc altho he’s constructed maaany he doesn’t even need to construct intricate rituals anymore he’s just Loud & Open about it, as he should!!!!!! 7.5/10 dennis take notes you fool

4. sweet sweet dee is next. has Constantly tried to hang out with the waitress and artemis bc she needs girrrrl time. planned to do the escape room just to talk with and make heart eyes to amanda. also planned the ladies boggs scheme bc the idea of being surrounded by women for hours in an enclosed space was a dream come true! other than that tho, she’s too much with the gang. 5/10 spread your wings and fly babe we’re rooting for you

:o you changed your blog!