#gleaks

Bad Habits 

Gleaks

Erie Alley at Folsom in San Francisco, Ca

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Super Clean.

Gleaks.

BROWN = I don’t like you

Hi there, gleaks!

Things happen, and I'm not the best test taker so I know how that feels. Don't let this entrance exam deter you! Yes, it sucks. Don't worry, I've been there, as I didn't get into med school the first time around either! But you know, if you want this and you're willing to work hard and bounce back, you can do it!

Hi gleaks!

First of all, I understand what it's like to be disappointed in yourself. You set a goal, and you didn't reach it. That always hurts. But now that the initial disappointment is out of the way, let's look at the situation again from a different angle, and break it down. 

1) You are just entering uni, and based on your blog it seems like you're the usual age for that (17-18? Let's go with 18). A time of big changes, no matter what. It's also often a time when good students get our first real academic setbacks. (When I was 18 I went to a particular university to join their creative writing program. My whole application to the school was about how well I would do in that program. You couldn't apply for the program until school started though. Guess what? I didn't get into the program.)

2) It sounds like you are in a country that has med school in uni (like the UK or Australia) rather than postgrad (like Canada or the US). This means, already, that even if you start medicine one semester late, you're still years ahead of your peers in countries like mine (I'm in the US). Keep in mind, I'm going to be starting my med school program next fall, and my age starts with a three. If I can do this at thirtysomething, you can do it at 19 instead of 18. We can do it together.

3) Most importantly, you have not been shut out of the medicine program. You've just been told that you're not quite ready yet. You have an additional semester of preparation before you start. This is okay! The semester of pharmacy work will totally help prepare you for medicine. The information you learn will be relevant, and you will be able to focus on making the transition to uni and the new kinds of studying you have to do there. It feels like a setback, but this is actually a great opportunity. 

Okay, so now we've reframed the situation. Let's look at your feelings:

i feel really really bad and stupid

i get anxious just by thinking about that

i'm so embarrassed

Your feelings are what they are; it's okay to have these feelings. But try to step aside from your feelings and ask what they are in response to. Are they in response to what actually happened? Or your fears about what's going to happen next? I suspect it's more the latter, especially since you mention being anxious about sharing your results with your parents. So let's make a plan. Here's what you're going to do. Write a little script to tell your parents what happened. You can use this one as a start, if you want:

Mom, Dad, I got my entrance results back. I got a good result [because it was a good result! You're going to uni!], but it wasn't as good as the one I'd hoped for. I am still going to go into the medicine program. However, the uni has asked me to take one semester of pharmacy first. While I'm disappointed that I won't be entering medicine straightaway, I'm going to work very, very hard during that first semester so that I'll be well prepared when I do start medicine the next term.

Do you see how that script presents the same information (starting medicine after one semester of pharmacy) as your message to me, but in a much more positive manner? Do that, and it will help. 

I don't know if your parents are the kind that are automatically supportive, or if they are more critical, but I want you to know that I'm proud of you, and I think you've got a great future ahead of you. You're going to have a fantastic first year at uni. Carpe diem.