#gildeth

shirt sticks to his back with sweat from the heat of the desert . he’s in suna on lady tsunade’s orders & while he ‘ rests ’ he spots a familiar jounin amidst the dry atmosphere . he hardly addresses him with a glance before starting conversation . his stomach rumbles quietly .

there’s a hesitant quiet that stills the air after a heavy question draws from hisoki’s lips . they’re alone beneath the stars , their comrades laid beneath pitched tents , their sleeping breaths & the crackling of the fire are the only things heard in the bitter silence that awaits gaara’s honest answer . but , the honesty that homes itself at the base of his tongue seems worlds away in this moment  .  .  .  like it’s lodged in the pits of his stomach , unable to climb from his throat through his words . he nudges his scarf up just a bit further .

he’s about to speak .

                                                                 ❛   .  .  .    ❜

he decides his answer was poor . if i were alone , i would not speak  . he guesses that’s not really what he’s asking . he thinks for a moment longer , flames reflecting in cyan irises , dancing in their color as his surroundings drift out of focus . 

what would he say if he wanted to speak to a world who has gone deaf to his cries ? it’s a formidable question . not one he hasn’t thought of before , but one in which the answer would change so , so frequently . he takes a moment , drawing in a cold breath that fades in & out of warmth from the fire . he hopes he won’t be judged too seriously , though he trusts hisoki well enough at this point . more than  .  .  .  any others .

                                                      ❛   i am going to speak sincerely .    ❜

                                    .  .  .

                                                                ❛   i would  .  .  .  speak of what has been done to me . how i’ve been treated & how i wish to prove that i am more than their perceptions of me . i  .  .  .  would say how desperately i’d like to have known love aside from myself . how i’d like to understand it better . i’d like to feel how everyone who smiles feels when they smile . i wish i could have spoken with my mother . i wish i could have spoken with my father . i am still working on mending my relationship with my siblings . i hope they don’t resent me . there’s so many things , yet  .  .  .   ❜

he holds his breath before filling his lungs slowly & allowing his eyes to close from the stars .