SHADOW OF ( TRAGEDY )

                     “ those who abandon their friends are even worse than scum ”

                                          - HATAKE KAKASHI -

                                                               written by : amy ( 24 , they/she )

                                                  〝   i'd rather not .   〞  

❛  huh?  ❜  finally,  kakashi was going to put down his stupid bells and books and teach him something that would make him strong. fingers twitch at the thought,  itching to grasp onto true power he could harness. something that would make his brother see him as a worthy opponent.

           ❛  wuh  …  what is it?  ❜ 

at this point he almost expects some kind of fools errand. a lecture on the power of friendship and protecting your comrades. if that was the case,  sasuke would surely turn his back on kakashi and the rest of the village. all the things they tried to offer and yet they could not give him the one thing he really needed.  

                 ❛  well? you gonna tell me what it is or not? i don’t have all day. ❜

AS DEMANDING AS ever  .  .  .  kakashi sighs beneath his mask , feeling the warm air of his breath caress his face with its moisture . it’s a feeling he’s grown used to , however , it feels more natural than not at this point . still he folds his fingers into his pockets & stares blankly toward his student , allowing his eyes to wander as if sasuke is not enough to hold his interest .

                                                       〝   i could tell you .   〞

but he won’t . he’d never give in to sasuke’s behaviors , always finding a round - about way of doing things his own way . he thinks to his sensei often whilst he trains today’s youth , sometimes wishing he were still around to guide him .

FOR  A  WHILE  THERE  WAS  ONLY  FIRE.       red,  piping  hot       tearing  through  ever  fiber  of  his  body.    granting  him  unimaginable  power      (      the  power  to  kill  a  god      )      at  the  cost  of  a  most  painful  death.      &&      oh  the  pain.    unbearable  even  for  maito  gai,  who  was  well  acquainted  with  the  eight  inner  gates.         but  if  it’s  to  protect  the  world          for  lee    &&    gaara’s  sake,  for  kakashi,  for  tenten,  for  neji  who  sacrificed  himself.

followed  by  another  flame.     one  that  didn’t  consume  him.        ghostly  bright  blue,  a  turquoise    &&   golden  eye  staring  down  at  him,  refusing  to  let  him  die.    in  the  deepest  parts  of  his  subconscious  gai  knew  what  this  meant         what  lee  had  done         and  somehow,  that  hurt  more  than  the  gate  of  death  did.    it  could’ve  been  weeks,  maybe  months           or  just  seconds  that  death’s  grasp    &&    matatabi’s  claws  struggled  to  take  or  preserve  gai’s  life.

the  soft,  rythmic  sound  of  gai’s  heart  rate  monitor  was  the  first  thing  to  call  him  back.    the  first  thing  which  moved  were  his  twitching  fingers    &&    GODS,  gai  shouldn’t  have  done  that.       the  searing  pain  immediately  ripping  through  his  body.         a  gentle,  pained  moan  left  his  throat.      disoriented  onyx  eyes  opened,  his  first  dizzied  thought  was  to  have  awoken  in  the  yamanaka  flower  shop        the  sheer  amount  of  flowers  both  to  his  left    &&    right.      the  sweet  scent  overshadowing  even  the  overly  sterile  hospital  smell  gai  hated  so  much.       gai’s  head  turns    &&    how  he’d  recognize  him  anywhere.             ❝           SHI                 KAKA        SHI.    .    .    ❞

he  no  longer  feels  matatabi’s  presence  in  his  body.       IT  COULDN’T  BE.     could  it??       typical  for  gai                  ❝    LEE        WHERE’S        WHERE           ❞            @flashfall​     :))))))))

MAITO GAI  .  .  .  a man he’d least expect to lose . after all , his endurance outdid even obito’s . he had a special knack for survival  --  him & gai shared that in common . still , there’s a sorrowful ache that pulls his heart into his stomach with the way gai hardly looks at him . the way his flesh has warped , the way everything just got so fucked up . kakashi draws in a deep , yet silent , breath , closing some distance between them when gai sears his name into his ears .

he asks for lee . of course . he expects nothing less of a father . he wonders if his own father spoke his name before he  .  .  .             .  .  .                  .  .  .  

he doesn’t touch gai , he maintains space enough not to add to the injuries he’s obtained through a pact with death . 

                                                        〝   lee is okay .   〞 

he responds with a simple reassurance , three words that display the love gai has for his son . kakashi simply watches him . he expects some content type of smile to form at his cracked lips , for gai to experience a type of happiness from his words . a happiness that would lead to his inevitable demise . because if gai were to leave this world , kakashi could only imagine that he’d do it with a smile born of lee’s existence . 

lacking faith in one’s restoration is something driven through his chest by all that he’s lost . still , he has hope for his injured friend . he clutches onto the hope that he might make it out of here & shine just as brilliantly as days before the fourth war . he’s frowning beneath his masked features . he bets that gai could guess that .

                       〝   mm . worry about yourself . he wants you to get better .   〞

“   now   why   would   i   do   that.   ”   not   expecting   an   answer,   daiten   continues   on.   oddly   calm,   daiten   hopes   there   wouldn’t   be   a   fight,   needing   to   put   on   a   facade   that   showed   her   true   “ traitorous “   nature   especially   now   that   she   wore   the   akatsukis   garb   and   stood   acrossed   from   team   seven   as   an   enemy   instead   of   an   ally.   

“   would   you   give   me   a   reason   to   go   back,   sensei   ?   remember,   you   only   have   one   minute   left   before   i   get   tired   of   talking.   ”

                                             〝   daiten .   〞 

his tone shifts in a manner most serious , his entire demeanor stiffening as so many thoughts stir like a whirlwind in his head . protect protect protect . who does he protect ? who will he protect ? who can he protect ? he’s failed to protect everyone he’s ever loved , but he will not fail to protect the children who do not deserve to know such suffering as they do .

                              〝   is this your ultimate decision ?   〞

she feels,   she feels   –   she’s not sure what she feels,   to be frank.   upset,   maybe.   angry,   certainly,   at herself most of all,   but past that and past the near-incessant ringing in her ears,   she’s not all-too sure.   but,   but   –   kakashi-sensei tells her she’s safe,   and she must be,   but she doesn’t   —     “     i don’t care about being safe.     ”     her voice is hard and,   and,   anger,   there’s the anger,   her nails biting into the meat of her palms,   teeth grinding and jaw tightening against the force of her rage.   it’s painful,   too   –   she thinks it might be,   but can’t be too sure of a great many things right now   –   the weight of another failure upon her shoulders,   and it’s just another one in a sea of already many.   this was supposed to have been her responsibility.     “     i was ready for it.   if-if he hadn’t involved an innocent person,   i   —   i was ready for it,   sensei.     ”

a past most recent haunts her so , & oh , how he knows so very well the pain that past can bring . his past is naught but wrought with abandonment , suffering , apathy , detachment . he couldn’t bear to see sakura go down such a route  .  .  .  so lively , so full of love  .  .  .  her heart exists to heal , her hands to give life . kakashi cannot allow sakura to taint her hands the way his hands have been tainted . he would not allow her to sink so deeply beyond control . the vices of war are inevitable , but he would ensure his survival if it meant his students did not have to feel the hurt that he has felt . he places a gentle hand atop her shoulder & gives it a slight squeeze .

                                   〝   you shouldn’t have had to be .   〞    

he sighs deeply , letting his arms fall to his sides , fumbling his hands into his pockets .

                        〝   it’s a harsh burden to bear on your own , sakura .   〞

how the turn tables---

“ GYAAAAH !!!!!! “

“ KAKASHI - SENSEI,   WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?! “   leaping about a foot into the air,   the boy darts to the side,   away  from his sensei.    with an accusatory finger outstretched towards him,    he quivers where he stands,   as though caught in something he definitely  didn’t  want his sensei seeing.    and the reason becomes clear enough,   when a barrel next to him lifts and begins to comically scoot away,   with someone’s feet being visible.   both student and teacher stare at the object in silence,   until it trips over something on the ground revealing   —   konohamaru?!    “ gah,   get outta here konohamaru!!!   i’ll hold him off !!!!   “   and just like that,   naruto surges at his sensei,   tackling a substitution of him to the ground.    as the younger genin takes off,   papers flitter to the ground in his wake.   

                                                 〝   .  .  .    〞  

he doesn’t bother answering naruto’s question before the boy sends his finger to his face . kakashi only blinks & watches idly as chaos ensues around him . ah , yes , the brutal familiarity of his team’s unusual antics . being a leader is oft more taxing than the third hokage made it seem  .  .  .  not that kakashi really had any hopes for the job in the first place . still , he grew to love the three who had been placed under him , but it’s times like these where he’s honestly not quite sure what to do with himself . his fingers dig in his pockets as he watches the boys scamper off & looks to see several papers strewn across the ground , all covered with peculiar markings , speculating what his face must look like beneath the mask  --  none of them being even remotely close to reality , but he supposes he should take that in confidence .

                                         〝   naruto  .  .  .    〞  

he pauses before speaking a tease to the boy , quietly , subtly .〝   if only he’d stuck around  .  .  .  i was even thinking of sharing a meal with him .    〞  

“   i   believe   your   corpse   would   make   an   excellent   puppet,   kakashi   the   friend   killer.   ”   if   only   sakumo   hatake   was   alive   to   witness   this.   if   only,   just   as   the   konoha   had   killed   his   parents,   he   witnessed   his   sons   murder   —-   unable   to   counteract   the   poisons   used.   but   sasori   does   not   get   ahead   of   himself,   careful   to   have   a   puppet   active,

“   why   don’t   we   begin   the   process,   hm   ?   ”

@flashfall​   <3′d.

friend killer , friend killer , friend killer . it reverberates in his ears in the voices of oh , so many . rin stands before him , blood dripping from her mouth , his hand through her chest  --  he blinks . she’s gone . still , he’s composed in the way he stands , defensive & stalwart . he fixes blades in his hands & jumps back at least 4 feet . 

                                    〝   sasori of the akatsuki .  〞

“ that’s great n’ all,   but whaddya think you’re doin’ pullin’ out   that stuff   then? “

                                       〝    stuff ?   〞