#ghost hawk

"Room for one more?" Dan lands, quiet as a ghost, beside where she lays on the rock outcropping. Just polite enough not to block her line of sight on the night sky, but glowing like a flare in the dark night, and defeating the purpose of coming somewhere with low light pollution.

"Only if you cut the light show, ghosty."

Dan huffs, but obeys, the light from his transformation messing with her vision briefly until her eyes can readjust. "Better?"

Shayera sighs, not looking away from the stars she came here to watch, nor answering. "How did you find me?"

"Called your place. Doctor Fate answered. He directed me to the area, and I just flew around until I found you."

"Bastard." She curls her wings tightly around herself.

"Him or me?"

"Yes."

Dan laughs sheepishly as he sits beside her."So… Utah?"

"Utah." Specifically Natural Bridge State Park. One of her favorite places to stargaze.

They sit in silence for a long minute, Shayera staring up at the sky, and Dan's gaze never leaving her.

"Do you always stargaze when you're homesick?"

"Who said I was homesick?"

She doesn't have to look at him to picture his raised eyebrow.

He waits her out.

Patient bastard.

"Yes."

She sees him nod out of the corner of her eye.

He lies down beside her.

The weight of his gaze leaving her leaves her feeling more fragile than before he joined her.

"You know." He begins slowly, carefully, "When the Thanagarian military left, they left a lot of their equipment."

She knows that. Who did he think acted as the Thanagarian consultant during cleanup?

She doesn't respond.

"Including records from Thanagar, planetary maps and… If you wanted I could probably get you a star map for Thanagar like what I have for Earth? You recognized Earth's stars on my rug, but there are other options if you prefer? A blanket or tapestry?"

"No."

The broken word slips out of her before she could stop it.

"Are you sure?" It wasn't the answer he had been expecting.

No, she thinks, but she says "Yes." Trying to sound more sure than she felt.

She can't.

She knows she'll never see the Thanagarian sky again, and the memento Dan was offering would just make the ache in her chest worse. It was her own fault, but she couldn't let herself regret it.

She'd never see her home again, but her second home would have a chance to live.

She spread her wings, and Dan took the hint and phased through her wing to lie on top of and within her wingspan. Almost on top of her wing. He floats slightly, always so cautious of her wings.

His hand brushes against hers questioningly, and she takes it like a lifeline.

"I forgot my graduation anniversary."

Dan hums beside her.

"Basic training graduation. It was stupid in the first place, I had more active experience than half of the instructors. But in order to join some of the more formal missions I wanted to, I needed to officially graduate and be evaluated. Top of my class, with especially high marks in espionage and tactical strategy. Graduation is a more common thing to celebrate than one's birthday in the military."

"But on Earth you hadn't been celebrating?"

"I had been actually. I never said why, but I found a reason to do something with the league all five years between the team being formed and the Thanagarian invasion. Nothing big, just… A movie night. Drinks with Lantern. The last year, J'onn, Martian Manhunter, and I painted each other's nails and drank fancy hot coco. He's got a sweet tooth like you wouldn't believe."

Dan runs his thumb along her knuckles, comforting and grounding her. "And then with the Thanagarian invasion and you leaving the team?"

"I didn't celebrate intentionally last year. I had defected. I wasn't part of Thanagar anymore."

"But that was intentional. And this year?"

"I don't even know. I feel like I blinked, and next thing I know it had passed and I hadn't even realized." She laughs, a desperate humorless sound. "I should be glad."

Dan's thumb freezes, and his grip tightens. "Should you be?"

"It would mean I'm moving passed Thanagar. Shouldn't I be trying to forget after everything?"

"You still love Thanagar." Dan says it as if that's all the explanation needed.

"I betrayed Thanagar." She insists.

"Thanagar betrayed you." Dan shrugs, the movement tickling her wing. "It's not a contradiction to love and hate something for different reasons. You can't forgive them for their attempt to sacrifice Earth to take out the Gordonians? Then don't. But that doesn't undo your love for the place that made you."

"Not a contradiction, huh?" She sits up— he lets her wing slide through him without comment— and moves to straddle him, her hands on his shoulders as she looks into his eyes for the first time that night.

He places his hands reverently on her waist.

He had so quickly become her favorite distraction.

He might regret drawing her attention tonight, she wasn't feeling magnanimous, and this was as good a time as any to ask a question that had been burning in the back of her mind.

"Dan…" She struggled with how to start, "In your other timeline-"

"You mean, my evil timeline where I did everything I could to burn the world to ash?"

"Don't be melodramatic. But yes." He tenses beneath her. "You fought the Justice League, right?"

"Yes."

"And the Thanagarians?"

"Never came. Without you as a spy I suppose they considered Earth a wasted investment. But Earth was worse off in the long run, I promise."

"And when you fought the Justice League. How did you kill me?"

"Shay. I wouldn't do it again-"

"I'm flattered." She deadpans.

"Any of it. Even if you were to call the Thanagarians back and change your decision."

She sighs, she hadn't really expected an answer.

He was both so tightlipped and disbelievingly open about his past.

It happened, for him at least. But he couldn't talk about it. Tried not to think about it.

Shayera could relate.

She sighs heavily, and lies down on top of him, slotting her head into the crook of his neck.

Dan kisses her cheek, and she doesn't recognize his voice as he whispers in her ear, "It was nighttime. We were flying. I'd used Green Lantern as bait, intangibly stole his ring. Broke your wings when you tried to save him. I didn't even watch you fall."