#gg9183

Kuroo sucked in a breath after realizing he’d been holding it. He was sitting on the couch between Kenma and Hinata with a glass of water in his hands – he had honestly never cared much for what this moment would be like so now that he was going through it, what the fuck was he supposed to do? He was shaking, he realized uselessly as he lifted the glass to his lips. This felt… unfamiliar and out of his element and he once again felt reminded that something was out of his control and that something was you. Maybe Kuroo’s life would be seen as predictable to outsiders but he had his routines, his plans, he was calm and collected through most work-related crises and he always had a back-up plan for his back-up plan! He was meticulous, careful and always in some form of control of any given situation, that was how his life had thrived for so many years and why – in his opinion – his life was as successful as it was.

In hindsight, it would’ve made sense if he had planned for a situation like this, had made a mental plan for the meeting of a potential soulmate, maybe written up some documents on what pros and cons and grievances he would have with the whole ordeal but whenever he actually thought of doing that, he stopped himself and shook his head over his own desensitized and square mentality – he sometimes had to remind himself that love wasn’t something he could negotiate his way in – or out – of. But if he was being honest, he had cared a lot about not caring about his soulmate so of course he wouldn’t put time and energy into such an endeavor! He was pulled out of his thoughts as Hinata brought yet another item in front of his face, “and this is yellow, Kuroo! Can you remember them?”

“I have a soulmate,” he just replied flatly for the second time during the last 20 minutes, staring blankly into the distance. Kenma let a hand rest on Kuroo’s back as a way to remind him that he was there to support him whenever he would wish for it. “Yea Kuroo, congratulations again! But do you remember which one of these were red?” Hinata now held up two switch controllers in different colors and Kuroo furrowed his brows before pointing to the one on the right.

“Kuroo, that’s blue…”

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Ringing the doorbell to the apartment he’d spent at least 10 years in felt awkward and he winced at the act of doing so but he wasn’t actually sure his mom would be awake – or even home, for that matter.

The clock hadn’t even passed 6.30AM on a Goddamn Sunday, the most holy of his – few – days off. His hands had become clammy despite the cool air and he insistently wiped them on his jacket – again, who had allowed him to buy such a bright and green jacket? - before ringing the doorbell again, and again, and again… he clicked his tongue in frustration and looked around, feeling panic rise, he really hadn’t planned for her to not be home. As he was about to turn around and figure out a new move he heard a noise from inside the apartment and seconds after, the lock clicked open,

“All right, who the hell shows u-”, his mother’s scolding stopped dead in the tracks as she got eye contact with her son. Her son whose eyes were wet, wet with fat tears threatening to spill and a bottom lip thoroughly bitten from worrying teeth, his whole expression reminding her of when he came home with scraped knees that wouldn’t stop bleeding when he was but a little child. Her expression immediately softened before opening the door completely for her son, beckoning him to come inside, “my dear, come inside, it’s cold out here. I’ll make us some tea.”

As Kuroo entered his old home his first move was to look around for Cucumber as he slipped off his jacket and shoes but he was nowhere to find in the narrow hallway. Though, as soon as Kuroo passed his mother’s room where the door was left open, he immediately spotted the round ball of fluff, triumphing on the top of a pillow up close by the headboard, barely sparing Kuroo a glance before he settled back into a comfortable sleeping position. Kuroo chuckled slightly, Cucumber never was a morning kind of cat, always cranky when Kuroo got up in the wee hours of morning to sneak in a work-out before he had to be at the office. Cucumber had this belief that if he didn’t see the act of his bowl getting filled up with food, he had most definitely not gotten fed, so Kuroo always had to force him up those days to fill the bowl in front of the sleepy cat so he didn’t go about howling the entire day until he got off from work on late afternoons, completely ignoring the fact that the bowl was, in fact, full. An idiot cat to be sure, but those kind of quirks made him even more lovable to Kuroo.

He then followed his mom into the kitchen area where she had already started to boil water, finding cups and tea in the cupboards while the water was on.

Kuroo went over to the counter to help his mother, who was also – as she always did when guests arrived – preparing some snacks of a kind, this time it was grapes and apple slices she was cutting.

“Ma, you don’t have to do that, I’m not a guest,” he tried though he knew it was pointless, “nonsense! You probably haven’t eaten, fruit is good for you in the morning!”

Kuroo chuckled dryly, choosing to go for making the tea now that the kettle had finished boiling in the corner.

Kuroo sat down first, eagerly avoiding eye contact with his mother who came over to his seat and cupped his cheeks, a soft and empathetic smile on her lips, “you look tired,” she stated before sitting down in the chair in front of him.

A deep sigh left Kuroo and he fiddled with the handle of his teacup for a few seconds before bracing himself and looking up towards his mother.

“You can see colors.”

The statement was short, his mother’s eyes wide, wider than Kuroo thinks he’s ever seen them and Kuroo immediately mirrored her surprised expression because how the hell did she know that?

“A mother knows,” she chuckled as if reading her son’s mind, “you can, can’t you?” she then asked, looking at him with a calmer expression. Kuroo bit his lip again and took in a deep breath.

“Mom I’m terrified,” he admitted, doing everything in his power to avoid eye contact with her, not sure what would happen if he did so.

“Of what, my dear?” she asked, but she had to admit she already knew the answer, she wasn’t completely oblivious to her son’s rather extreme disdain to the whole soulmate part of the universe and she felt a pang of guilt from the pits of her stomach – she wasn’t in the dark about how this was her fault as well.

“Soulmates… I don’t want to be forced with a person. I don’t.. I don’t know them! What if they’re like dad? What if-”

“Your dad wasn’t and isn’t a bad human being, there’s no reason to fear a person like him,” his mother sighed, taking a sip of her scalding hot tea – as if she hadn’t just dropped a bomb in Kuroo’s mind.

His eyes widened impossibly more than they’ve had been during the past 24 hours, because how could his dad not be a bad human being? He left them, he hurt his mother so much that Kuroo wasn’t even ever told why he left, he never contacted Kuroo, never reached out or tried to get to know his own son, he let his mother work two shitty jobs to support the two of them for at least the five first years they spent together in Tokyo and even though Kuroo knew there were letters between the two of them, he still couldn’t wrap his head around the claim that he wasn’t a scumbag – that’s what Kuroo had believed, told himself all those years.

He was torn out of his spiraling thoughts by a weight landing on his lap, looking down to find Cucumber, purring and kneading into him, giving every part of him he could reach headbutts – so now the cat realized who it was who’d come in through the door, huh? Kuroo momentarily felt calm, his hands reaching down to pet his cat, as if the cat knew he needed some emotional support.

“Ma I don’t exactly understand, what the fuck do you mean?”

Another sigh escaped his mother and Kuroo grew frustrated, why was she so calm?

“You must know, Tetsurou my dear, there was never a lack of love between your dad and I, and never any lack of love towards you, but your dad, he’s…” she looked around the kitchen, her mouth moving soundlessly as if tasting her own words before letting them leave her mouth, “your dad was ill. Is ill, and when he decided he needed to leave us, there wasn’t anything I could do to stop him, as his soulmate I understood his reasons, I couldn’t – even if I had wanted to – stand in his way, you see,”

Kuroo’s emotions flared up again, his blood boiling. After over 20 years of suffering, of hurt, of loneliness, of fear, that was the weakest explanation he’d ever heard of and the fact that his mother had agreed to do this to him only fueled him further on, “I never knew anything, you never told me anything! I’ve been terrified of meeting my soulmate! Terrified, ma!” a gross sob escaped from Kuroo’s mouth, a hand immediately flying up to cover it, to cover the many more he was afraid would spill if he didn’t physically hold himself back. His mother started crying as well, albeit her tears fell calmer than her son’s, “I know it wasn’t right but… he didn’t want you to know, Tetsurou I don’t expect you to ever forgive us but, he’s my soulmate, I’d do anything for him, I’m bound to him that way,” she tried, to which Kuroo retorted, “but I am your son,” feeling betrayed. Was he going to do something like this to his future children if he ever had any? Completely throwing them under the bus if his soulmate asked him to? He couldn’t ever imagine putting an adult before a child, he just.. couldn’t.

“My love, we may not have ended up doing right by you, but he did it in good faith, in faith that it would be better for you this way – it might not have been the best decision but he did with what he had at the time, your father… your father has early onset Parkinson’s and it hit him like a freight train when he was 31, he couldn’t… he couldn’t bear to let you see him like that, he had to be put in a nursing home a year after he got the diagnosis, you must understand… he didn’t want to become a burden to us, didn’t want us to suffer.”

“I fought a lot with him about it, about his decision because he would never be a burden, not to me. But he had set his sights on this, and after many months of fighting – as I’m terribly sure you remember -  of fighting with tooth and nail for all of us to stay together, I had to accept that this was ultimately his decision alone.”

The explanation somewhat helped Kuroo understand more, he wasn’t sure if it would ever change or dissipate his anger, but the rational part of his brain took over and made him calm down – even if it was just a little. Even if he still felt hurt and betrayed and left behind by his own dad, even if he still cursed his dad for choosing to not be a part of his life, he could rationalize over why the decision was made. He also realized fighting with his mother about it right now wouldn’t help a thing, wouldn’t change a thing, so he willed his nerves to calm down with a sip of his tea. “I’m not sure how I feel… about all of this, my head is a mess, I’m...” he took in a big gulp of breath and for the first time since he came into his childhood home this morning looked properly at his mother, “whatever all of this did to me, it actually did help  with my fear of my soulmate… I think, I’m still not sure,”

“What are they like?” his mother smiled cautiously at him, knowing she wasn’t exactly forgiven just because he wouldn’t deal with it all right now, but still curious and wanting to support her son.

Kuroo couldn’t help the small smile that fell on his lips as he saw you in his mind’s eye. “Amazing, ma, simply amazing. They’re… they feel warm and bubbly, somehow? And their smile is the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen and they… they’re really good at making me laugh. I feel at ease with them, I think,” Kuroo rambled on, already feeling in a weird giddy mood thinking about all the good things about you. “But it’s… it’s funny, I thought they were bad… evil, or something, the first few days before we found out we were soulmates”

His mother chuckled and looked at him with a puzzled look, “first few days? How long did it take you?”

Kuroo sheepishly looked down at Cucumber who had fallen back asleep on his lap, curled down to a round ball of fluff, “well we met Wednesday… and I just found out last night.”

His mother’s hands hit the table so hard in shock that she woke up Cucumber but all he really did was lift his head and look at her quizzically. “You met them and then not until four days after, you find out your soulmates?” she laughed, a warm laugh from deep in her belly that rang through the small kitchen and Kuroo couldn’t help but chuckle as well before scratching the back of his head, “yeaaah, apparently we both had been avoiding eye contact like crazy. I felt weird every time we had met, like I was desperate to see them again but I mistook it for something negative and convinced myself they were bad for Kenma, they work as his video editor.”

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“Kenma, can you give me their phone number?” Kuroo stood awkwardly against the door frame, feeling giddy and terrified at the same time. It was now past lunch time and he had just arrived back at Kenma’s. The talks he had with his mother cleared up a lot of things and she had been happy to answer all of his questions, and even though there were still a lot of healing to do, he felt more confident to approach you and.. get to know you. Kenma didn’t look up from his phone, “oh? You don’t know their number?”

“What do you mean? Of course I don’t, I met them the other day.”

“Hmm. There must be a mistake then, you know when you meet your soulmate, their phone number will also be engraved into your memory forever, right?”

Kuroo stared blankly down at Kenma who was still sitting unaffected in his chair, neutral facial expression, scrolling through the phone in his right hand.

“What?”

“Yeah, it’s how it is. Trust me, I’ve had my soulmate for years,”

“Tell me Kenma, what is Chibi-chan’s number, then?”

“Aw but Kuroo, I’m not on trial here, am I? After all, I’m simply helping you, you are pretty new to the soulmate thing, seeing as you refused to learn about it all these years,”

Kuroo was honest to God close to panicking, he didn’t know your phone number! Had there been a mistake? Did that change your status as soulmates? Did this change everything? Did he go through all of this just to live with a real-life glitch? A hand ran through his hair in panic before he heard the quiet chuckle from Kenma who had a smile on his lips that Kuroo didn’t see very often but looked just as mischievous as Kuroo’s could - they were best friends, after all.

“Alright Kenma you bag of poop, send me their number,”

“I already sent their contact info to you, like, four minutes ago, keep up old man.”

Kuroo chuckled darkly, “you’ll pay for this,” before whipping out his phone and going back to the living room, ignoring whatever reply Kenma had jabbed at him.

Opening up the message from Kenma he saw that he had shared your contact and somehow he felt dizzy when he clicked on your name and saw all kinds of information in there like your birthday and your address besides your e-mail and number. He was about to ask Kenma why he had all that but remembered that while you were friends, Kenma was technically also your employer, and probably needed it for those kind of reasons. Kuroo swiped around and deleted all the information about you except for your name and number, deciding he wanted to learn all this information naturally, while getting to know you.

As he sat down on the living room couch he went in and out of the call list, even trying to opt for a text to you but after writing half a sentence, always deleting it again.

After scrolling his phone for what felt like hours (and a Kenma who yelled “just call them!” from his office) his finger hovered over the ‘call’ button, almost pressing it at least a dozen times before removing his finger again, a sigh left his lips, was it really so hard to call you? You were his soulmate goddamn it, it should be easy, right?

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You were lazing on your couch, answering the flashcards your phone provided about colors from the app Color Found. It was a free, first on the list version of the thousands of apps made for people who had just found their soulmates and now needed to learn and navigate in all the world’s colors. When your phone started ringing in your hand with an unknown caller ID you yelped and almost threw it across the room. Could it be…? But how did he get your number? Did Kenma give it to him? Did Kuroo tell him you were soulmates? You groaned, remembering once again, that you had just left him at the door last night, hurrying home in the biggest panic you’d ever felt, your cheeks burning the entire time. It wouldn’t be weird for him to try and contact you after that, right? You inhaled deeply before nervously clicking the green button and taking it up to your ear, “h-hello?”

“Hello! This is Alexander from LiteWare speaking, I’m just calling you with an offer on...” you sighed deeply, letting him finish his sentence before politely telling him you weren’t interested and hanging up. All that panic for nothing, for a phone seller. It reminded you that you had to get your number private some way, they were getting really inclined to call you all the time, even on a Sunday afternoon.

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You were pacing back and forth in your living room, trying to gain control of your breathing and of your heartbeat. The ride home from Kenma had felt several hours longer than usual and if you really stopped to feel, you’d notice how exhausted you truly were, but that feeling was pushed away and your energy was redirected to your current thoughts of “what the fuck, what the fuck”. Kuroo was objectively very handsome, charming and he was really good at making you smile and relax – you had immensely enjoyed his company over the last few days but you thought it had just been that, a puppy crush on a handsome man giving you his undivided attention – screw the fact that you’d dreamed about him last night and felt an indescribable pull towards him whenever your thoughts wandered to him at home – he was your soulmate!? All signs pointed towards it, the undeniable fact that you could see colors made your eyes screw shut – a headache was sneaking its way into you, arriving from your eyes being overworked with all the impressions you didn’t have the mental capacity to filter properly right now.

As you threw yourself down on your couch with a groan and your hands covering your face, you took in a long breath and stilled your body completely until you exhaled again, already feeling a bit calmer. So… Kuroo was your soulmate, alright, that was a manageable fact, you could work with this, right? This wasn’t the end of the world, right? He was a good person, he was funny, charming and his cooking was good, right? What else did you really know about him? He’d told you about his job, about his life, his childhood – mostly the parts related to Kenma since he was your common link – and of his cat who sounded like the most adorable idiot you’d ever heard of. The headache was starting to become too much so you went to your kitchen to get a glass of water and an aspirin. It was going to be fine, right now all you needed was to take a shower and go to bed, you had a brunch tomorrow with a friend, it wouldn’t help staying up all night fretting about him when you probably were bound to be together a lot more in the future anyways. This, you could fix tomorrow after your meet up with your friend who you hadn’t seen in a long while! That was definitely the most logical thing to do, right?

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Your brunch had gone well, your friend laughing their ass off about how you had both just left your soulmate at the door and hurried home and spent four days figuring it out, teasing you about how badly you had managed to woo him then. A good chunk of the time had been spent talking about him, about colors, about possible future life together, “would you like kids with him? Are you going to move in with him?” to which you mostly had shrugged and said you would like to get to know him more before making any drastic decisions like that, though your friend hadn’t been too understanding because when they’d met their soulmate several years earlier, they’d moved in practically a week later, since they were “bound to anyway” and while you did see their point of view you also felt like just because you were soulmates didn’t mean you’d get along perfectly always and all the different sides of you would most definitely piss him off or catch him off guard if he had to learn them about you after you moved in, imagine if he hated electric toothbrushes? And you just waltzed in there in a week with one, or if he enjoyed quiet mornings and you just woke him up with talking or made his coffee wrong! There were so many parts of relationships that you felt came naturally through getting to know each other along the way and speed running through it all just because you were meant to be felt both bad and like it took some of the magic of a relationship away, but maybe he didn’t feel the same way? After all, you hadn’t really given him a chance yesterday to establish any sort of thoughts or expectations and you had started to feel bad for him that you’d just run away all by yourself. He must be panicking too, right? You know you definitely would if you got left like that. Feeling the a new kind of panic settling in your stomach you got up and threw on a jacket and shoes before almost running to the subway. Bile rose in your throat from thinking about if he was hurting or suffering, if he was somehow in pain because of this and of what you did, you didn’t really know him, maybe this had been his one insecurity about a soulmate. You laughed a bit at your own fear and panic that you were feeling for him, but nonetheless still hurried off to Kenma’s place.

Your phone rang in your pocket as you walked down the stairs from the subway, you picked it up without looking, “hello?” you cursed yourself for sounding out of breath.

“Hello? This is.. uh… this is... uh Kuroo. Kuroo Tetsurou.”

You stopped in your tracks, your brain short circuiting, looking around you as if he was supposed to be physically close to you right now, “oh! Hi. Uh, hello..” you tried again, a hand running down your face at the most lame response you could ever come up with.

“Hey, yea, uh, Kenma gave me your number. I hope that was alright… I didn’t want to do something to overstep your boundaries, I uh-” you laughed a bit at his awkwardness, he had been such a smooth talker the past few days but right now it seemed like words failed him as much as they did you.

“I’m almost at your house,” you interrupted and a silence followed, “at my house? Do you know where I live?” he asked dumbly and you let out a curse before correcting yourself,

“Kenma’s! I mean Kenma’s, I don’t know your address of course! I haven’t googled you or anything!”

A laugh rang through your phone, the cute laugh you’d heard yesterday and you felt yourself relax, “I’m happy to know I didn’t permanently scare you off, should I meet you on the way? Not sure how much Kenma feels like listening to… us. Uh, not that anything’s going to happen, of course! Just thinking we have a lot to talk about. We could take a walk in the park nearby?”

You nodded and stood silently until he coughed a bit and cautiously said, “I really hope you’re nodding right now and haven’t left me on… will that be called left on heard? Is that grammatically correct?” an airy laugh left you as you started walking again, “Sorry, I was nodding, yeah, let’s meet at the south entrance of the park.”

When you got close enough that you could see the entrance to the park you also spotted Kuroo immediately who stood bundled up in what looked like a comfortable warm autumn-appropriate jacket and a scarf wrapped around his neck. His hands were hiding in his pockets and you assumed they might’ve been cold, since it had been quite a chilly day even though it was only early autumn. In your mind you practiced saying hello casually to him, wondering how casual you were supposed to be, right before you reached him you also decided it would be wise to start off with an apology for leaving him like that last night.

“Kuroo! Sorry about hello!”

A hand shot up to cover your mouth in complete embarrassment and shock. This was the worst entrance you could make! Another loud laughter came from him as he clutched his stomach and bent over slightly and you smiled a bit, his laugh really did something to your nerves and you laughed a bit with him, “I forgive you about your hello then,” he grinned before leaning towards you to give you a hug, maybe? You panicked and as you were seconds from puckering your lips you decided to reach out with a hand to give him a handshake and he smiled, “you must be very good at business meetings, this handshake is firm,” he laughed but couldn’t deny the extreme shade of red that ran all the way up his ears from touching you again. You hastily brought back your hand and beckoned for him to walk next to you through the park.

As the two of you walked Kuroo kept glancing between you and the near-empty park. There were a few parents and their children over by the playground and you had passed a few people as you followed the trail around.

“I’m just going to start, I think. I don’t think we should move in together in the near future, I think I’d like to get to know you first,” you said confidently before looking nervously up at him, “whoa, I also like to think I should take you to a dinner first,” he grinned to hide his nervousness.

“Listen Kuroo, I uh. I obviously like you, even before I knew you were my soulmate I felt really attracted to you, I think we’re going to bring a lot of good out of each other, and I… I’d like to believe we could be happy together, but… while half the battle is finding your soulmate in this big, bright world, I also think you’re supposed to fight for next part. Like, I don’t believe we’ll be happy just because we found each other. Relationships takes work, I think, and they’re not always… Easy. I know I’m not always easy to be around, I can be frustrating and maybe also endlessly annoying – and I’m sure you’re going to have some quirks and traits that I will find frustrating and annoying and… I’m rambling, aren’t I? Oh god, why are you crying?”

Sparkles. Fireworks. That’s what Kuroo felt going on behind his eyelids as he had stared at you and listened intently to what you had to say. He had spent so long being against soulmates, thinking they would just be some person shoved at him by the universe, someone he would be forced to be with, someone he might even end up loathing one day but you… you spoke directly to his heart and it was in this moment he realized that soulmates weren’t just a random person he was forced to be with, it was… a person meant for you, a person that would fit like the other half of a set, a person who you would click with, a person you were meant to fall in love with and love for the rest of your life. Your words had been so simple and polite and so clear you were talking to a person you hadn’t even known for a week but they had shot right through him and he hadn’t even noticed that tears had fallen from his eyes before you had stopped and looked up at him with such worry that he felt a pang of guilt for crying in front of you out of the blue.

“Nothing, I’m just… really glad I’m going to be sharing my life with you, I think. I couldn’t agree more with all you just said.”

You smiled shyly at him before locking your hands together. “Well then, Kuroo Tetsurou, shall we continue to try and steal stars from each other from now on then?”

It always just starts as the softest, laziest make out before you either end up in his lap or he's squishing you down beneath him, your thighs curled around his hips. and it never speeds up, stays sweet and sensual, thoughthe kisses get sloppier and his hands massage at you a little harder.

"you feel good?" he'll murmur against your mouth, lips slick with spit, his voice rough with pleasure, groaning with ever pass of your wet panties and achy pussy over the strong throbbing press of his length in his sweats. fingers squeezing hard at your waist when you give a soft, keening "y-yeah, feels so good" in response.

whether you cum first or not, he's always hissing softly, big hand tugging his cock out to cum on your cute, slick-soaked panties while he kisses you harder, lips vibrating against yours with his groans, the warm spurting head of his cock pressed against the soft skin of your thigh or tummy.

if you haven't cum yet he's sliding his cock between the slippery gusset of your panties and between your swollen folds, holding you close while you hump the oversensitive skin of his cock til you're shaking into your own soft orgasm, his face buried in your hair or neck, soft groaning kisses and whispery praise blessing your skin.