An early pioneer woman went to Brigham Young and said something to the effect that her husband was being verbally abusive and "He told me to go to Hell! What should I do?"
The prophet paused for a moment before saying, "Well... Don't go."
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An early pioneer woman went to Brigham Young and said something to the effect that her husband was being verbally abusive and "He told me to go to Hell! What should I do?"
The prophet paused for a moment before saying, "Well... Don't go."

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First Snow
Day 1 ~ first snow ~ getting soaked ~ “your hands are so cold” ~
Word Count: 1049 Content: friends to lovers, love confession, gender neutral reader, everyone being "mean" to Fives, a sprinkle of Echiyo
@12daysofchristmas
Fives was not having a good time. He shuddered as the icy breeze seemed to blow straight through him. It wasn’t the cold that was ruining his mood or the fact that his clothes were soaked through.
No, it was that he was being ganged up on.
You, Omega, and Lyana ran around as the first snow of the season collected in the courtyard of the Senator’s house.
Echo had abandoned him out here. Not that he could blame his brother—Riyo had been making eyes at him for nearly an hour as she watched him play with the kids. No, he couldn’t blame him for following her inside, but that didn’t change the fact that it was now three against one.
As he pulled his focus away from his plan to kick his twin’s ass later, he realized that the courtyard was far too quiet.
Omega was standing in front of him, trying—and failing spectacularly—to look innocent.
“Ad’ika,” Fives said, suspicion coating his voice. “Where are the others?”
“Oh, I’m not sure!” She exclaimed theatrically. “Maybe they went inside?”
Fives eyed her, cursing his weakness for little sisters. “Alright, ‘Meg,” he said, crouching down to her level. “Tell me what you’re all planning and I won’t toss you into the lake.”
Omega gasped. “You wouldn’t!”
“Not if you tell me where they're hiding,” he smirked.
Her eyes narrowed on him. “And?”
He sighed. “And I’ll make Mantell mix when we get home.”
Omega broke into a wide grin. “Lyana went inside to warm up,” she informed him. “She's not used to being so cold.”
“What about–”
Before he could finish asking about your whereabouts, a mess of snow flooded over him.
Omega squealed in delight as she jumped back to avoid the flurry.
When the miniature blizzard came to a stop, he looked upwards, wiping the snow from his face to find you and Echo holding a large bucket aloft, both of you practically bursting at the seams with laughter.
Fives was definitely going to kill Echo later, but the clear, sweet tone of your laughter ringing through the courtyard stilled his murderous thoughts for the time being.
Slowly he realized that Omega and Echo had both retreated indoors and he stood alone, smiling up at you.
“You know we had to, right?” you called, laughter still in your voice. “I mean you were just standing there staring into nothing for so long!”
Fives chuckled as he looked around. You could tell he was formulating a plan, but just what he was up to? Well, you could hardly be sure.
A breeze blew, peppering the back of your neck with soft flakes. Shivering, you pulled your coat tighter around you. “Fives, let’s go inside; I’m freezing–”
You gasped in surprise as you watched him jump. His hands wrapped around the bars of the railing you were leaning on.
“What are you doing?” you laughed as you watched him pull himself up, inch by inch. “You’ll fall and break something!”
“Me?” he grunted, finally finding his footing on the edge of the balcony. “Nah, I’m far too skilled.”
When he pulled one last time, easily hopping the railing and he was finally there, face to face with you. A few inches separated the two of you but something like a magnetic force seemed to pull you nearer to him.
“Mesh’la,” he breathed, his eyes softly looking over your face. You could smell the peppermint candies he’d gotten at the market.
“You’re insane, Fives,” you scolded, despite the smile you couldn’t seem to shake. “You could’ve gotten hurt!”
“You know what I think?” he said, his tone dropping into something more teasing. “I think you like it when I do crazy things.”
You gasped a little. When the hell did he get so… insightful? “Oh, yeah,” you scoffed, sarcasm flooding your words to mask how your pulse began to race. “I really like worrying about you.”
“I think you do,” he said, smirking like the smug bastard he was. “More than that, I think you like me.”
Your face felt like it was boiling, though you couldn’t seem to make yourself turn away from his smoldering gaze. “I– of course I like you. We’ve been friends for a long time.”
Fives chuckled. “That’s true,” he admitted. “We’re friends. But I don’t think you want us to be just friends, do you?”
As you blinked at him in surprise, you felt like your heart was beating out of your chest and stopped completely at the same time. “Fives,” you whispered.
He pulled his glove off of one hand, bringing it to brush against your cheek. “Gar cuy bid mesh’la,” he murmured. “Gar dayn’tranir te ka’ra.”
You could feel the warmth of his voice curling in your chest, even though you didn’t understand what he was saying. “Fives,” you said breathlessly, unsure of what else you could say.
“Ni linibar gar at copad guuror ni copad gar.”
“Fives, I–” you said. “I don’t understand.”
“I know, mesh’la,” he hummed. His free arm wrapped around your back as he leaned in close, his lips barely brushing your ear as he whispered. “You are so beautiful you outshine the stars.” You gasped softly and you could hear the smirk in his voice as he nuzzled against your neck and continued his translation. “I need you to want me like I want you.”
He pulled back, his eyes curious as he watched you process.
“You…” you mumbled after a moment. “You want me?”
“Yes,” he said simply.
“And you’re… you’re not…”
“Not?”
You sighed. “You’re not messing with me? This isn’t some… extremely calculated revenge plan for the snow?”
Fives huffed but smiled. “I mean every word.”
Everything happened so fast.
Without even thinking, you moved; your hands grabbing his face, pulling closer, closer, closer until your lips finally met.
The kiss was soft, warm, and so perfect. When you both pulled away breathlessly, he chuckled quietly, pressing his forehead to yours.
“Can we continue this inside?” he whispered, his voice hesitant as if speaking might make the moment fly away. “My clothes are soaked and your hands are so cold.”
You laughed as you nodded, quietly enjoying the warmth of his smile as he led you indoors to the hoots and hollering of the others.
Next Day »
Thanks for reading! - River
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I don't like it when people refer to Joseph Smith as a "convicted conman." As far as I'm aware, being a "conman" isn't in itself something you can be convicted of. His charge was being "a disorderly person and an imposter" and accounts differ as to whether he was convicted. There were actually three separate "disorderly person" trials. As I said, accounts of the first differ as to whether he was convicted, convicted but allowed to escape, acquitted, or had the charges dismissed. In the two subsequent cases, he was acquitted.
Interesting exchange from the Reed Smoot hearings, a series of Congressional hearings on whether the Senate should seat Mormon apostle Reed Smoot, who was elected by the Utah legislature in 1903. The hearings lasted from 1904 to 1907 and Smoot was eventually allowed to retain his seat. Smoot himself had only one wife.
Senator Joseph Hoar: Now I will illustrate what I mean by the injunction of our scripture, what we call the New Testament.
Church President Joseph F Smith: Which is our scripture also.
Senator: Which is your scripture also?
Smith: Yes, sir.
Senator: The apostle says a bishop must be sober and be the husband of one wife.
Smith: At least.

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The Shakers, formally known as The United Society of Believers in Christ's Second Appearing, were a Christian millenarian sect famous for their furniture, communal sharing of all property, ecstatic worship, and completely forbidding all sexual intercourse, even between married couples. The total ban on sex and marriage is why the Shakers are functionally extinct - there are a grand total of three in the world. They believed that Jesus's Second Coming had already occurred, this time taking the form of a woman, Mother Ann Lee.
In 1831, a Shaker community was just 15 miles south of the Mormon Church's headquarters in Kirtland, OH. In March of that year, a man named Leman Copley joined the Church after he had been a Shaker for many years, though the fact that he lived several miles outside of the Shaker settlement, owned a large farm, and remained married show that he wasn't a diehard.
The prophet Joseph Smith wrote of Leman following his conversion that he "was apparently honest hearted but still retained ideas that the Shakers were right in some particulars of their faith." Leman was anxious to share the good news of the Mormon gospel with his former brethren, and "in order to gain a more perfect understanding of the subject," Joseph inquired of the Lord and received the following revelation:
(tl;dr - sex and marriage are actually why the earth exists in the first place, Jesus will not return as a woman or some random guy, compelling others to abstain from meat is wrong)
Copley and Sidney Rigdon traveled to the Shaker settlement and met with their leader, Ashbel Kitchell, and spent the evening and next morning engaging in pleasant conversation, agreeing not to try to convert one another. Parley Pratt arrived and told them to pay no attention to Kitchell, as they came with the Lord's authority. Following a Shaker meeting, Rigdon stood and, with permission, read the revelation in its entirety.
Kitchell said, "I reject your message, and release you and your 'Christ' from any further burden about us, and take all the responsibility on myself."
Rigdon replied, "This you cannot do - I wish to hear the people speak for themselves." The people then did so, saying, "We are fully satisfied with what we have."
Rigdon relented, and calmly pocketed the revelation. But at that same moment Pratt stood and began shaking his coattail, saying that he shook the dust from his garments as a testimony against the Shakers, who had rejected the word of the Lord.
Kitchell completely lost his composure:
"You filthy beast! Dare you presume to come in here and try to imitate a man of God by shaking your filthy tail?! Confess your sins and purge your soul from lusts." He then turned to Leman and said, "You hypocrite! You knew better. You knew where the living work of God was, but for the sake of indulgence you could deceive yourself and them, but you shall reap the fruit of your own doings."
The three missionaries returned to Kirtland, but Leman was deeply stung by the rebuke and began vacillating between Mormonism and the Shakers, eventually leaving the Church permanently.
There was a succession crisis in Mormonism following Joseph Smith's untimely death, with Brigham Young, the American Joshua, eventually leading the Saints to the Salt Lake Valley. Mormon denominations other than The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are so tiny that they aren't really worth talking about, but splinter groups could make a better case for their legitimacy by pointing out that nearly all of Brigham Young's distinctive teachings were very strange and now rejected by the LDS Church. For instance, Young taught that Adam, the first man, known in the premortal existence as Michael the archangel, was God the Father, and that some sins were beyond the atoning power of Christ, requiring the sinner to be executed in a way that allowed their blood to fall on the ground in order to save them from damnation.
Mormonism 101
One of the reasons for this project is that Mormonism, through its global missionary program, shows like South Park and the Book of Mormon musical, and the music of Donny Osmond, is a very visible religion, yet at the same time its basic tenets, beliefs, and practices are almost totally unknown to anyone except initiates. Most people are aware of Mormons, but couldn't tell you much about the religion. So what is Mormonism? Let's start with terminology. While "Mormon" and "Mormonism" are well-established, people who are usually called Mormons are actually members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. "Mormon" is a nickname or exonym drawn from the religion's principle scripture, the Book of Mormon. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the official name of what to most people is "the Mormon Church." The term "Mormon" is discouraged, as is the abbreviation LDS. Official Church sources stress that the full name should be used whenever possible, but suggest using the abbreviations, “Church of Jesus Christ” or “Christ’s Church,” which seem more to me like ambiguous theopolitical statements than useful short forms. Apologies to any LDS readers, but I'll be using "Mormon," "Latter-day Saint," and "LDS" more or less interchangeably.
Mormonism is a Christian restorationist denomination, which means that Mormons believe their religion is a restoration of primitive (in the sense of first or original) Christianity. Mormonism is a Christian religion to the extent that its central figure is Jesus Christ, but has several major differences from mainstream Christianity, which we'll get to in later posts. (I personally believe that Mormonism originates in Christianity, but is not Christian in the same way that Christianity originated from Judaism but isn't Jewish.) The Church was founded by Joseph Smith, Jr, who hailed from upstate New York and is regarded by believers as a prophet similar to the way Jews & Christians view Moses or Muslims view Muhammad. Smith had visions from the spirit world telling him to organize his own church, as all Christian creeds were an abomination in the eyes of God, and leading him to a new volume of scripture, the Book of Mormon, written by some of the indigenous inhabitants of the Americas on golden plates, and buried on the Hill Cumorah. Smith allegedly translated this record, the Book of Mormon, through the gift and power of God. The Bible, the Book of Mormon, a collection of Smith and other Latter-day prophets' revelations called the Doctrine and Covenants, and The Pearl of Great Price, consisting of some excerpts from Smith's revision of the Bible and other ephemera, constitute the open Latter-day Saint scriptural canon. After Smith's assassination, his successor Brigham Young led the Mormons to Utah, and eventually the religion grew to become a global faith. The Church is headed by a president that adherents consider a modern prophet, seer, and revelator, and they consider themselves the only true, authorized church on earth today. They have many distinctive teachings on the nature of God, the afterlife, health and diet, finances, and other matters that I plan to cover in future posts. (Any corrections are always welcome, but I think this is pretty accurate!)