both arms cradle you now - emperor geta
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The chambers were quiet, cool, dark. The torches flickered against the wall, providing little light. You were waiting anxiously - you were always anxious waiting on these nights. So many things could go wrong, disastrously so.
You tensed as you heard footsteps coming down the hall - the moment of truth. This was always the scariest part, the unknown, the potential for trouble. You wrung your hands together, fussing with the material of your tunic.
The footsteps neared. You could see the light from the torch they were carrying. Then, around the corner - you released a breath, a smile spreading across your lips at the sight of your love, your emperor.
He returned the smile, one that was rarely seen on his regal face. He stowed the torch on the wall and approached you quickly, arms wrapping around your waist in a tight embrace.
“My love,” he greeted you, his voice full of emotion. “I have missed you.”
“I think I’ve missed you more.” You were smiling so big your face hurt, your heart beating rapidly against his chest, a mix of fear and longing.
Geta leaned down with his tall frame and kissed you, his hand tenderly resting on your cheek. His lips were slightly dry. He had been working too hard, stressing too much, not taking care of himself. But here with you, he could feel like himself. He could feel loved.
When he pulled away, those anxious thoughts crept into your head again. “Where is-“
“Shh,” he shushed you with his finger against your soft lips. “I do not want to speak of her. I am here with you.”
You always thought of the Empress. The woman who had what you wanted more than anything in the world. You knew the marriage was political, you knew there was no love between them, but it stung. Another woman shared a bed with your love. Another woman had his hand in marriage.
But you had his heart.
“Let me lay with you,” he whispered. “Let me be here with you tonight. Let us not worry of anything else. Tonight, I am yours.”
Before you could protest, Geta’s lips were pressing to yours once more. He pressed forward, walking you back to your bed. You often wondered what it might be like to lay with Geta in his bed - you imagined it was much more comfortable. But that was impossible, and he never complained.
He laid you down gently, his hands caressing down your body. He climbed over you, his lips never leaving yours. His thick thigh slotted between your legs, rubbing against your core. You were so needy for each other - these dalliances were rare, you had to savor them when they happened, even though you had little time together before Geta was expected somewhere.
No one could find out about you. It would make him look like a weak ruler, turn public opinion against him. Rome always came first. Even when he didn’t want it to.
Geta’s lips worked down to your neck while his large hands slid up your tunic. You had prepared specifically for this, spending extra time in the bathhouse, coating your skin in his favorite scents. He breathed you in, his favorite drug.
He undressed you swiftly, his eyes hungry for more of you. Your hands worked at his tablion before removing his robes, his gorgeous, toned body revealed to you. How lucky you were, to see all of your emperor in this way.
His cock was already hard, ruddy tip leaking from his desire. He could never control himself around you, always needed you right away. He thought of you constantly in the times you were apart, always looking forward to the next chance he had to be alone with you.
Once your tunic was gone his mouth went straight for your breasts, mouth eagerly wrapping around your nipple as he sucked, his tongue running over the nub before he grazed his teeth ever so gently over it, making you gasp. He loved the little noises you’d make, they got him going like nothing else.
“Beloved,” he groaned against your breasts, nipping gently at the skin, leaving marks. “You are divine. You are a blessing from the gods themselves, placed in my hands. All mine.”
You loved his words, but there was always that nagging voice in the back of your head that you weren’t his. You were just a slave. He was the Emperor. He had a wife. The negative thoughts made their way back, tears welling in your eyes. Geta noticed immediately.
“My dove,” he murmured, a hand on your chin turning your gaze to meet his. “Why do you cry?”
“It’s just…” You tried to hold his gaze, but found your eyes dropping. “I just wish we could be together.”
Geta’s chest ached. He wanted that more than anything. He would give anything for your happiness, anything to have you. But it was impossible. There was simply no way.
“I know, my love,” he said. “As do I. But let us not think of it now. I am here, and I want to make you feel good. I want to be one with you. I want to show you how much I love you.”
You tried not to dwell as he went back to kissing all over your body, throbbing cock pressed against your core. He slowly rocked his hips, cock sliding just between your folds, coating himself in your wetness. He longed to bury himself inside you, to thrust in to the hilt and take you for his own.
He reached between you to line himself up, pressing just barely inside you before pulling back out, teasing you - and himself. You whimpered at the loss before he was pushing back into you, his girth stretching you like no other man could.
“Geta-“ you let out a choked moan as he filled you in a single strong, slow thrust, his low groans vibrating against your neck.
“You feel incredible,” he groaned against your skin, rolling his hips in a slow pace, savoring the feeling of being inside of you. Every inch of him was buried into you, the pleasure all encompassing for you both. “Like no other.”
You hated the thought of your love with other women. You knew he had been, of course. He was married, after all, and before you there had been others, concubines. It still twisted your heart in your chest. Knowing you were his favorite (and his only, now) only soothed the sting a little.
The thoughts were pushed from your head as he thrusted particularly deep, cock pressing against your bundle of nerves in the way only he could. Geta was the only man who had ever brought you to orgasm, and he made sure to every time. He loved it. He loved bringing you pleasure.
His large hands spread your legs wide, and he looked down to where you were joined, a soft whimper escaping the emperor’s lips at the sight. His pace faltered for a moment, hips stuttering into you as he lost control for only a brief moment.
“Fuck,” he let out in a quick breath, his fingers digging into the skin of your thighs. You thought about examining your body later, seeing all the proof of Geta’s claim. He liked to mark you up, liked to see you around the palace with the proof of what he’d done to you, although he was the only one who knew.
You clutched onto his strong arms, whining as he began to pound into you. Your back was arching, vision going spotty, nerve endings coming alive. Your body felt like pure energy, a storm brewing deep in your core.
“Geta…” you cried, your hips moving up to meet his thrusts. “I’m…”
“I know, my dove,” he said, eyes meeting yours, looking deeply into them. “I can feel you. Can feel you clenching around me, needy little thing. Go on and cum for me, cum for your emperor.”
Your mouth dropped into a wide O as you felt it, that feeling Geta brought you every time. It spread through your body like lightning, and you came hard, crying his name over and over.
Geta bent over, burying his face between your breasts, placing kisses all over them as he grunted with every thrust until he was stilling, filling you deeply with his spend. Your mind was so hazy from your orgasm you didn’t think twice about how he didn’t pull out and finish on your stomach and breasts the way he usually did.
Geta’s trembling hands held onto you for a while longer as he breathed deeply, trying to calm himself. When he finally did, he pulled out of you, rising from the bed and reaching for his clothing.
You watched, your heart sinking. “Must you leave so soon?”
He turned to you, his expression genuinely hurt. “I must. I am sorry, little dove. I will be back as soon as I possibly can.” He reached for you, his hand resting on your cheek. “You know how they watch. It is not so easy to slip away.”
You understood, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Instead you laid there, still naked with Geta’s seed between your legs, as he dressed and placed a final kiss to your lips and the top of your head before leaving.
And you were alone once again.
It had been but a few months since that night with Geta when you knew something was wrong.
Your cycle was regular. It was something you could count on. When it didn’t arrive, that was your first worry. Then your breasts began to swell and ache, sensitive even to the feeling of your clothing rubbing against them. When you noticed the slightest rounding of your stomach, you knew there was no denying it. You were pregnant with the Emperor’s child.
He didn’t visit for a while. It always hurt when he didn’t come, having to see him through the palace acting as if he didn’t know you. It was like a sword to the chest, yet a pain you knew all too well.
When you received a missive through Geta’s most trusted courier, a message letting you know he would be coming, your anxiety increased. This was it. You would have to tell him. How would he react? Would he be angry? Happy? That was naive, you thought. You would never be a family.
This pregnancy could have you killed. Your child could be born into slavery. The thought itself made you sick to your stomach.
So as you paced your chambers, waiting for Geta’s arrival, you thought and thought. There had to be something you could do to save the child. There had to be.
You heard his footsteps. As always, you tensed, listening closely. When he came inside, a soft smile spreading across his face at the sight of you, you let out a breath. He always brought a comfort that wasn’t entirely logical.
He said your name gently as he approached, taking your soft hands in his. Your returned his smile, wanting nothing more than to collapse into his arms and tell him everything, and have him tell you it would be alright.
His eyes roamed your body, as if he could see a change but didn’t put it together. His large hands came to rest on your hips, rubbing your body over your clothes.
“I have missed you,” he muttered, his head dipping towards you, lips nearing yours. You accepted the kiss, but when he tried to deepen it and you knew where it was headed, you gently pushed at his chest. He moved back, looking down at you with his brows drawn together.
“What is the matter, my dove?”
You didn’t know what to do. He would know once your clothing came off. You had to tell him. But how? “Geta…”
His hand rested on the side of your face, thumb gently tracing your bottom lip. “Something is bothering you.”
“I…” You paused, unsure how to continue. “My cycle…it…I didn’t…”
Geta just stared at you. Then, a grave understanding passed over his already pale face. “Oh.”
You watched his face for any further reaction. But he had withdrawn into himself, his mask he never wore around you coming over his features. Your heart sunk. Was he angry with you? Would he - gods forbid - have you killed to keep his secret?
He looked away from you and you watched as he lifted a shaking hand and ran it through his ginger hair, blowing out a long breath. He began to pace your chambers, shoes scuffing against the floor. This was a version of him you knew from around the palace - stressed, thinking, burdened. You were his only reprieve from this form of himself, yet here he was.
“Geta…” you said gently, taking a tentative step forward. He held up a hand harshly and you stopped in place, startled. He was never this way with you.
He turned toward you, face immediately softening at your hurt expression. “I am sorry, my dove,” he said, walking back over to you. His hands rested on your upper arms. “But this is…”
You blinked back tears. You knew there was no happy ending. Nothing you had dreamed would come true. It was foolish. You were foolish.
He wiped at your tears with his thumb. “Please do not cry,” he whispered. “I hate when you are sad. Please. We…we will figure this out.”
That surprised you. “What do you mean?” you said, your voice cracking.
“I will not let harm come to you,” he said firmly. His eyes glanced down at your stomach. “Either of you.”
“But what can we do?”
“I…” He looked down. “I do not know. But I will find something.” His hands dropped from you and he moved to sit on your bed. “Come lay with me for now. I wish to hold you.”
You obeyed your emperor, walking slowly until you reached the small bed. He laid down, holding out an arm for you. You fit yourself into the mold of his body, your back pressed against his chest. You could feel his breathing as he wrapped his arm around you, holding you close.
His hand caressed your arm, your side, until he hesitantly reached forward and placed it over your stomach. His breath hitched as he felt the bump there, the proof of the life growing inside you. The life you had created together. You could feel his heart thudding against your back.
He didn’t move away. Instead, he placed a soft kiss to the back of your shoulder, rubbing your stomach. His mind raced. His emotions confused him. This was not good. This was disastrous. Yet, he was happy. The thought of you carrying his child, the child he had given you, warmed him from the inside out. He imagined what the child might look like, if it would be a boy or a girl.
He knew he would never know.
When you awoke, Geta was gone. You must have fallen asleep in his arms and he snuck out after. You had never fallen asleep with him before, but your bed suddenly felt much colder than it ever had.
You went about your day, your mind on the child growing inside you. You felt a fierce protectiveness. You looked over your shoulder throughout the day, terrified someone knew of your secret and would be coming for you. But no one bothered you.
When you returned to your chambers, you were surprised to find Geta waiting there for you.
“Geta…?” you asked hesitantly to the man sitting on your bed, his head in his hands. At the sound of your voice he looked up, standing and walking to you. He pulled you into a tight hug, holding you close to his large body.
“My dove…” he muttered into your hair, not letting you separate an inch from him.
“Geta…what is it?” you asked him, pushing him back only enough to look into his dark brown eyes.
“I…”
You could see pain in his expression, and that terrified you. You held onto him tighter. “Please. Tell me.”
His trembling hand came to rest on your cheek. “You know I love you. More than anything on this earth or above it.”
Your heart beat faster. “Yes. I love you, too-“
“I would do anything to protect you. And our child.” His voice cracked on the last word, as if he were choking back tears. You had never seen him cry.
“What is it?” you whispered, eyes searching as if something in his face would tell you.
“I’ve arranged to have you sent away,” he said.
Your heart stopped. “What?”
“It is the only way,” he said, and you could tell it was the painful truth. “They will have you both killed. I cannot have that. I will never let that happen, do you hear me? I will never let that happen.”
“So you’re sending me away?” you asked. “Alone?”
“You will be safe in the countryside,” he said. “I have arranged for you to stay with a family there. They will take care of you and the child. You will get the care you need. You will be safe.”
Your lips parted, tears welling in your eyes. Geta watched as they fell, helpless to take your pain away. Helpless to take his own pain away. “Will I ever see you again?”
He didn’t know how to answer that. His lack of an answer brought more tears, and he pulled you into his chest, rubbing your back.
“I would do anything to keep you both safe,” he whispered again. “Anything.”
His heart cracked as he held your shaking body, sobbing into his chest, soaking his tunic. His own eyes brimmed with unshed tears. He had to be strong for you, especially now, despite the intense despair he felt, the hopelessness.
“I will try to write to you,” he said. “I will try to visit.”
Try. You knew deep in your body that you would never see Geta again. But if it was the only way to keep the child safe, you would do it. You had no choice. You pulled back and looked up at him with red rimmed eyes. Your emperor, your love. The man Rome was terrified of, your only comfort. The only person who had ever loved you properly.
“I do not want to lose you,” you admitted, voice weak.
“You will not.” He took your hands in his and kissed the knuckles. “I will love you until my dying breath.”
With your few belongings packed, you stood outside the palace. Servants loaded your bag into the back of the carriage. You looked around, wondering if Geta would come to say goodbye. No one came.
“Are you ready?” the carriage driver asked you, tearing you from your reverie.
You blinked the tears out of your eyes. “Yes.”
You climbed into the carriage, and then you were off. Off to a new life. You rested your hand over your stomach, thinking of Geta. You allowed yourself to dream for only a moment of a life together. Geta holding the tiny babe, small fingers wrapped around his. The child of the emperor. Not that they would ever know it.
While you were still lost in thought, the carriage stopped abruptly, jolting you forward. You felt the panic rising in you, and you covered your stomach with your arms protectively.
“Wait!”
But you knew that voice. You opened the door and stepped out, seeing Geta running towards you from his own carriage. Both drivers looked forward, giving you privacy as if they weren’t even there.
He wrapped his arms around you once he reached you, pulling you close to his body. “My love,” he said. “I could not let you go without saying goodbye.”
The tears were back, streaming down your face. You clutched onto him tightly, wishing he’d never let you go. When he pulled back to look you in the eyes, he stroked your hair gently.
“The gods truly blessed me when they brought you to me,” he said quietly. “But my life has always been nothing but sacrifice.”
“Come with me,” you said, foolishly, knowing it could never be so, but desperate for him, desperate to hold onto him. “Come with us.”
Something broke in him then. “I cannot,” he said, and all the pain in his body could be heard in the words. “I wish I could. More than anything, I wish I could run with you. But I belong to Rome.”
You looked up at him with tear stained cheeks. “Will I ever see you again?”
“I will do everything in my power to see you again,” he said, and you knew that was the best promise he could make you. “I love you. If you remember anything about me, remember that. You will be in my heart for all of eternity.”
He pressed his lips to yours, not caring that the drivers were still nearby. He put all of his emotions into that kiss, both of you could feel it through your bodies like a current. He pulled away, and stepped backwards, reluctantly dropping your hand.
“Be well,” he said. “I love you, my little dove. I love both of you more than I have ever loved anything.”
You watched with a broken heart as he climbed back into his carriage and they left, heading back towards the city. You felt in your chest it would be the last time you ever saw him.
You climbed back into the carriage, a hand resting on the swell of your stomach. A new life. A new beginning. And an ending.
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