watch me burn my memories of you 

But the one thing Geralt doesnt know about Jaskier is what he does for a living: hes very secretive about it and says things like 'oh I work in the entertainment industry' or 'oh I'm just there to make people smile' and Geralt is like...99% sure that Jaskier is a stripper or something and even has this whole speech planned out (written with Renfri's help) telling him about how it wont change that he wants to date him and sex work is real work etc. But he's waiting for Jaskier to bring it up first to talk about.

Then one day he takes Ciri to Disney Land because Yen paid for the tickets for her birthday (mostly to watch him suffer through the ordeal of it all) and he shows up and Ciri immediately B-lines towards the characters from her favourite movie Peter Pan.

And she waits very patiently to get an autograph and then Peter Pan turns round and its Jaskier.

Okay so since watching the Witcher the first time my thoughts on the storyline of Yennefer wanting a baby have deeply changed. I know theres a lot of people annoyed at this subplot because it's a box women are often pushed into and yeah that sucks. But with Yennefer I think they chose to do this almost to highlight the fact that she doesnt fit into this stereotype. Let me explain.

Yennefer would be an awful mother. She wants and she wants and she wants - if a tiny baby shows up in her life do you really think she isnt going to resent it for taking away her agency, for requiring constant attention, for needing her? Theres little glory to be had in being just some mother (the type of glory Yen wants anyway).

So why does she want one?

She makes the decision to try and have a baby after one conversation with a new mother. She hears in that mothers explanation what shes been after: love (or adoration - I think Yen often mingles up the two in her mind which is ALSO cool for her character because it subverts the woman searching for love trope but ANYWAY). And so she fixates on it. But let's be honest, if she raised a child theres no actual guarantee that child would grow to love her. All her hopes are on this one thing - just like all her Hope's were pinned on getting to be at court Aiden which didn't satisfy her either. When Geralt asks her about children, shes not saying 'oh they're cute and I'd like to raise one to be strong and powerful like me' she says 'I dreamed of being important to someone'. Its not about the child at all - it's about HER. it's a selfish want.

And I think that's in part because she CANT have it and she knows that. She wants EVERYTHING as she says, and this things been taken and what if this is the missing piece? The bit that would have made her satisfied? It seems to do it for other women- so why not her? And she wants and wants and wants Yen does, and shes also angry I think deeply and unsure where to direct that - isnt this a good outlet? Something she never really felt the loss of before is suddenly all she sees because she wants everything and she can see this as something taken.

Further (god this is getting long) I think her switch to wanting a child is also about her dissatisfaction with her beauty and with being in court Aiden. In the beginning the trade probably seemed worth it: she had wanted to be beautiful, to be adored and loved. But it got her nowhere, didn't satisfy her, didn't make her life better. We're not shown it in the show but I imagine it actually made it harder - men adored her but for the WRONG reasons and I bet Yens the type to get pissy about that. So when the beauty she thought would make her happy doesnt, she turns to the thing it took from her as part of her anger that it didn't work.

And as I walk away I know I've been through the wars, but that creaking you hear in my bones it's not pain its applause