#geraskier headcanons

It screams Jaskier pining for Geralt. I like to imagine that in the world of The Witcher, he wrote it. It’s full of so much pain, fully encapsulating a love that is so strong it’s killing you and yet you can’t stop for the life of you.

But the new demo is perfect. It’s acoustic, and there are no lyrics besides humming and “ooh”ing here and there. It’s in progress. Listening to it feels like you’re walking in on a private moment you shouldn’t be listening to. It changes and shifts as Matt is recording. As a songwriter, I can practically hear him thinking “Well what about this? No, that’s not right. How about this? Oh, yes, I like this.”

So picture this with me:

Imagine Geralt and Jaskier sitting at their camp. It’s their first day back together after one of their little few month breaks. Imagine Geralt sitting on a rock, cleaning his sword from a day’s work. Imagine the campfire crackling, the crickets chirping. Imagine a 28-year-old Jaskier has his notebook and lute out. Geralt likes to hear him play as they wind down for the night, and Jaskier… well Jaskier has been hyperfixating on a song he’s been working on while he and Geralt were apart. He has the lyrics done, but the tune isn’t quite there yet.

The songwriter’s hands itch to play this new one that’s still in progress. It’s like resisting a pull, but this one isn’t one he wants to write in front of Geralt. No, he can’t. But the hyperfixation is too strong, and he moves to pluck the riff as he tries to play other things. Things he knows Geralt likes—

“Play the new one.”

Well fuck.

“It’s uh… a work in progress.”

“I like it. Keep going.”

He can’t say no to Geralt.

“There aren’t any lyrics yet,” he lies.

“That’s fine.”

So he plays the new one. And it sounds something like this: (lyrics for the og are under the cut)

ACTUALLY, it's my personal headcanon that Jaskier is really, really good at gift-giving. He just. Fucking rocks at it. Because he's naturally so attentive and intuitive, finding the perfect gifts for people comes easily to him.

And then Geralt came along. GERALT, at least at first, is a conundrum to Jaskier because before they met, Geralt had never RECEIVED a real gift before. Gift-giving was a foreign concept to him. He also doesn't know when his birthday is, and didn't celebrate Christmas/Sovan/Midwinter like most people do. Anything he needed he just purchased for himself, and he didn't seem to WANT much of anything. All of this left Jaskier kind of floundering because HE IS A GIFT-GIVER. HE LOVES GIVING GIFTS. HE LOVES SHOWING HIS AFFECTION THIS WAY, but Geralt was making it exceedingly difficult.

Gradually, over time, Jaskier learned to dole out his love in smaller packages, paying attention to when Geralt was running low on supplies for his potions (for example), or noting when Roach's currycomb was looking a little worn, and just picking up little things for Geralt as gifts here-and-there throughout the year and their travels together-- though he does make a point of getting Geralt SOMETHING for Christmas/Sovan/Midwinter, even if it's just one of his favorite pastries.

But what if Geralt is the one who makes Jaskier immortal? And it’s totally by accident, like via a(nother) poorly phrased djinn wish, or a potion of some sort, or by somehow gaining the favor of a mage who takes one long look at Geralt and thinks, “you know what? That witcher needs his bard around for as long as he’s alive. I’m gonna make that happen.”

And Geralt and Jaskier continue on their merry way, both hilariously oblivious to the fact that Jaskier doesn’t age, hasn’t aged, won’t age until a very exasperated Yennefer and a giggling Ciri inform them that “seriously, it’s been 60 years of you two prancing about the Continent together, have neither of you thought to question how that might be?”

- Jaskier runs out of energy one time, pretty early on in their partnership, and Geralt thinks...mothboyfriend need nectar! and gets him a Mountain Dew.

It goes about as well as you'd expect.

- Moth courting rituals. Fairy lights, waltzing dances, fuzzy fabric 'wings' Geralt uses to hold his mothboy close (like putting your coat round someone to keep them warm?)

- Jaskier Gets A Job (museum curator? Lecturer?) Something smart where he can also be his clumsy-ass self yes I am projecting why do you ask

- Jask is minorly ill and Geralt feeds him herbal tea and honey from a teaspoon

- Jask is Very Hurt and Geralt turns up at the hospital frantic only to be soothed by the fact that Jask's wings and/or feelers are moving softly even though he's unconscious because now he Knows he'll be okay

- Mothboyfriend scaring the shit out of the Kaer Morons by arriving on their fire escape. Four floors up. When the rest of the ladder is pulled up.

- Mothboyfriend discovers sweet wine and gets tipsy

- Sad droopy feelers go ding! when Geralt gets back from a contract that's overrun

- H/C where Jasky has a shit day at work and comes in with his face and wings and feelers all 😞 and gets a big cuddle

- Bedazzled Party Wings

- Geralt Wears Deelyboppers To Match Mothboyfriend

I love all of these and I would like to add:

-Jaskier buys the Kaer Morons matching Deelyboppers because he wants everyone to know that they're part of his Moth Squad.

-He fights every other vaguely bug-shaped thing that comes near Geralt, including but not limited to: Advertisements for exterminators, Halloween decorations, and/or children in costumes for a school play.

it started as many things did for the bard, in bed with someone offering to teach him something interesting. first, it was a contortionist from a traveling troupe of performers who could escape tons of restraints and taught him how to get out of the fun and not fun kinds. then it was a blacksmith who spent several days showing him how to properly make things like chains, locks etc and what they looks like poorly made and where there weaknesses are. and jaskier, the sponge, files everything away and practices sometimes with a pair of restraints he’d been given by the contortionist.

geralt may think him inept at using swords and he’d be half right, jaskier lacked geralts strength on a good day, but that didn’t mean he didn’t keep anything on his person. just not the sort of thing geralt recognized. usually it was mistaken for jewelry and often it was hidden exceptionally well. at first it was fun at least, until he got locked in someone’s stellar for breaking wedding vows he doesn’t remember making and before he knows it he’s out of the restraints and oh dear that lock doesn’t look too difficult either and he walks out without a scratch.

then, after befriending geralt he gets into more and more precarious situations. usually it doesn’t take more than an hour, tops to get out of everything. the ones that take longer usually have him back before dinner and before daylight at the earliest. geralt must assume he’s been off in someone else’s bed but will still begrudgingly leave with him the next morning even if had had spent all of the previous night working through an impurity weakness in one of the chains that had taken ages to find because the rest of the restraints were expertly made but geralt didn’t care for sleeping in and he wasn’t about to start that fight.

but then he’s kidnapped by people who mean business, who have talked to everyone that came before and found out the bard had a talent for escaping. and one moment he’s telling geralt he’ll be off in the market buying quills and the next he is groggily waking up naked in a cell. normally he’d be fine but naked means naked and he doesn’t have knives, scraps of metal sewn into his clothes or any of his jewelry. it’s dark and he’s drugged which means even if he could get a look at his restraints to find the weak point he doesn’t know if he’d be quick enough to actually escape. in addition, while he had practiced restraints blindfolded, he usually had some tool on him and for the first time in over 20 years jaskier is nervous.

he wakes up again later and realizes they must be continuously drugging him and the lack of light means he doesn’t know what day it is or how much time has passed. he’s gagged so the most he can do is hum to himself and too much movement makes him pass out again.

no one comes to talk to him, no demands, no guards, no one to charm. finally jaskier realizes hes starting to feel a little panic. he’s not sure he can get out of this one but the second the though glances across his mind he’s out again.

it is two weeks before geralt finds him, 2 days before the drugs are completely out of his system, several before he can eat more than some bread and an apple, and almost a month before geralt works up the nerve to really talk to him about what happened. jaskier had been slowly starving in a cave while geralt had hand to threaten every single person across 2 towns to figure out who might even be responsible, let alone figure out where he was. it was reckless of him and -

before geralt continues jaskier is laughing. it started as a chuckle and turned a dark sort of bitter before jaskier is saying geralt this is no where near the first time i’ve been abducted. hell, i’ve lost count at this point. usually i can get myself out just fine but pretty hard to do with the pick sewn into your pants stays in your pants, if you know what i mean. fuck, i’m going to have to replace that pair remind me in the next town i need a new pick as well

and geralt is speechless. doesn’t know what to do with the information and he’s angry, why didn’t you tell me?

and jaskier just shrugs saying, i mean it had been happening before i met you and no one ever kept me long enough to really interrogate me or anything - don’t worry, your witcher secrets would be safe with me even if i failed to get out

and geralt really doesn’t know how to take that because he had been concerned, jaskier had been left to starve to death and geralt nearly hadnt found him - this wasn’t about jaskier knowing information about him this was about geralt failing to keep him safe

and jaskier must see something playing out on his face because his eyes look softer and he’s reaching for geralt and saying something but geralts mind goes numb because jaskier is hugging him after all he’s been through, after near death experiences and dislocated wrists breaking out of restraints for over 20 years and geralt hadn’t even fucking noticed

and finally geralt forced out a i will find you jaskier

and jaskier is nodding into the hug and geralt slowly brings his arms up to encircle him and jaskier hair is so soft and he’s close and warm and safe and so he repeats himself with as much emotion as he can wring out of his dry heart, i will always find you

Whenever Jaskier is hurt/sick/poisoned/cursed, the thing that Geralt finds most terrifying is how still Jaskier's hands are. When Jaskier is healthy, his hands never stop moving: playing his lute, writing, gesturing, fiddling, touching things he really shouldn't be. Even in his sleep his hands twitch, like a cat.

oh FUCK dude siren!jaskier is my favorite inhuman jaskier hc hold up this is gonna get long

im gonna go ahead and play fast and loose with siren mythology tbh 

1. Jaskier is only half siren and when he was born his mother took him further inland hoping that if he was away from the sea, he could hide his siren aspects and live as a human. It worked for a bit! Cut off from the sea and under some magical charm Jaskier did not find out his true nature.

2. Despite how effective his disguise was there are some small.... let's say quirks, that follow Jaskier. For example, his love of singing is not just a hobby....its a need. As far as Jaskier is concerned if he couldn’t sing he might as well be dead. He has a bit of magnetic charm that is a little more than charisma and a love of open spaces. (The sight of the sky stirs something in him but he just chalks it up to being a free spirit) 

3. A hunt draws Geralt and Jaskier towards the coast. And Jaskier is so excited! For reasons he just can’t put into words. (He just says he’s never been to the coast before but something tells him that’s not true.) Geralt takes Jaskier out on a boat for the hunt (pirate!geralt vibes anyone?) and Jaskier can’t stop singing!! Jaskier smells seawater and the bright blue sky above him and his mouth opens without realizing it. Geralt tells him to be quiet but he!!! can’t!!! so he contents himself with humming quietly and listening to the seawater lap at the side of the boat. 

4. During the hunt Geralt is attacked by a creature which drags him into the sea and Jaskier doesn’t really think he just dives in after him and once he’s in the water it’s like something snaps. He feels the water sing around him and he’s swimming after Geralt with amazing speed that he didn’t know he had and there is something guiding him to the deep. 

5. When he wakes up he’s in a cave near the shoal coasts and Geralt is also there? And he looks......uhhh it’s hard to say. Confused? Angry?

Afraid?

 But he’s not doing anything just....watching. It’s then he notices his tail...and wings... and he opens his mouth and the song that comes out has Geralt jamming his hands on his ears. He starts to panic and with one last glance at Geralt; he flees into the deep. 

6. It takes Geralt a few days to find him. Jaskier spending those days exploring the ocean alone and even flying with some mild success. He learns he can shift into his human form if he’s out of the water but leaving the sea doesn’t feel right so he wanders the shoreline. When Geralt shows up in his tiny boat Jaskier is so shocked that he came looking for him he doesn’t know what to do except run but Geralt stops him and they actually talk.

They have a heart to heart where Geralt expresses his desire to have Jaskier around despite his....abilities. Jaskier makes a crack about beating Geralt in the ‘monster’ department. There are some salty sea tears and maybe even a kiss? Jaskier still travels with Geralt but they occasionally have to head to the coast so Jaskier can be in the sea and catch up with his siren friends who still do not like Geralt but it’s fine.