grin to win - the genz!driver
pairing: the genz!driver x 24!grid (pre and during singapore)
summary: it’s the gzd first ever win, but getting there was a bumpy road
word count: 4.3k
warning: not proof read and some angst, talks about not feeling enough and all that
note: i am so sorry for not having updated in such a long time, i do hope you still like my stuff :)
masterlist / taglist
it has been weeks since our beloved gen-z driver has had a positive experience. silly season started earlier than she thought - daniel was rumoured to be dropped soon. max hasn’t won for a long time, she wasn’t sure if that’s positive or negative, but she feels sorry for her favourite dutch. carlos finally announced he’s signed with williams.
oh, and logan’s been dropped.
oliver is driving for haas next year. mclaren overtook redbull in the constructors championship. lando has started his transition to mad-lando (get it? because he’s starting to drive like mad-max? anyway). kimi signed with mercedes.
but there weren’t any news surrounding y/n. nothing negative, but also nothing positive. no rumours of her signing with a new team, or staying at her current team. her contract will run out at the end of the season.
she hasn’t heard from her team ceo or principal yet. she wasn’t underperforming, no she’s just performing as expected. but also not doing better.
she needed that something. that something that reassured her, that she’s in the right place. she needed at least a podium this season. that’s what she was telling herself for the last weeks. beating herself up, every time she didn’t perform well enough (in her eyes, we have to say. because if you looked at it from a neutral view, she was doing more than fine).
the stress has been eating her up. she was staying longer at the gym, eating less, seeing the guys less, not seeing her friends or family. even her boyfriend broke up with her, because she’s been ignoring him and focusing too much on her racing.
lewis was the first one to suspect something, knowing this behaviour all to well from himself. but he didn’t know what to do. should he ask her about it or say something to someone professional?
the first thing he did was tell george. george usually knew what to do. except this time.
„lew, im sorry man, i don’t know what do do“, he sighed and looked over to his teammate. „we could just tell the principal, but i don’t know if we‘ll brake her trust this way.“
„she just needs to see, that she’s good enough, i know that that’s the issue she’s having right now“, said lewis to george.
the taller one just shrugged, „maybe we should just, you know, talk to her“, he suggested.
lewis agreed, but he was sure, that he was the wrong person to talk to y/n. that’s why he called seb.
and as her phone started to ring and her favourite picture of her and seb appeared on her screen, she instantly knew, that someone noticed her weird behaviour. why else would sebastian call during race week?
with a heavy sigh she picked up her phone and tried to sound as happy as possible as she said: „hi seb! what’s going on?“
the german scrunched up his face as he heard the rather happy voice of the young girl. „hi there, pretty lady. i heard you’ve been absent lately“, he said softly.
the moment y/n heard her current situation from someone else, her tears fell. she didn’t think that it’d effect her this much, someone knowing what’s been going on lately, but it did.
„how do you know?“, she sniffled. her cries broke sebs heart, he could only imagine how his daughter’s future teenage cries would take him out.
„a birdie noticed and told me, hun.“ - „who was it? tell me it wasn’t my ex, because that bloody pig told me, if i couldn’t care enough about him, he wouldn’t care about me and if he called you, that means he’d still care about me and that would only make me feel more guilt over the whole situation“, y/n started to ramble.
„hey hey, no, it wasn’t him“, seb stopped her rambling. „i won’t tell you who, im just gonna tell you, as someone standing on the sidelines, you’re doing more than fine, okay?“
she shook her head no, even though the retired driver couldn’t see her. „no im not, everybody’s getting to sign their new contract or has been rumoured to be let go, but nothings happening with me“, she sighed.
seb told her, that this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, that teams usually like to torture their drivers to see how far they’re willing to push. and that she just had to let the team get to her and not assume anything.
„but what if it’s like the situation with daniel? or logan? what if it’s the same with me?“
„then so be it, you can come to switzerland for a few weeks, we‘ll forget the whole thing and organise something new, it’s as easy as that“, seb told her.
„and honestly, y/n, you’re not being dropped, or rumours would have already been going around. as i said, just go with the flow.“
that’s what she tried. she tried to engage more with the other drivers. she tried to enjoy little things like eating chocolate.
she started to regularly talk with seb and talk about her feelings and worries - which helped her a lot.
and as time flew by, she got back into her zone. back into that racing mode, back into the fight.
it was singapore, hot and humid, but she was ready to fight. right before qualifying lewis visited her garage. looking relieved to see her spirits back where they belong.
„kiddo, you ready?“, he asked. y/n grinned at him and threw two thumps up. „good“, he murmured.
„good luck!“, he shouted. „you too, you’re gonna need it with my pace“, she laughed back.
„i hope so“, whispered the mercedes driver. „i really hope so.“
y/n sat in her car, she felt that something good would be happening. she never felt this ready for qualifying before.
q1 and q2 went by as a breeze. her lap times were phenomenal, she’s done better, but they were still great. easing into q3 with a good feeling and good lap times.
„y/n, you’ve been doing great out there, don’t push yourself too much, okay? i’ll tell you when to give it your all. we’re going for the front row“, her race engineer told her.
front row, that was really something.
„you think we can do it?“, she asked nervously. „i think that you can do it.“
with that statement she drove out of the garage onto the track. driving some laps to warm up her tyres. feeling the track and the car. she took a deep breath in and let it out and waited for her race engineer to giver her their sign.
tears stained her cheeks as she got out of the car. everything was blurry. confusion was written on her face. qualifying just ended and she will start the race from p2 on sunday.
she couldn’t believe it, neither could her team or to be honest, every other driver on the grid.
journalist started to surround the garage, friends of the young girl had trouble getting to her. the first one who made it through the masses, was oscar.
as soon as she saw him, she started screaming; „oscar! can you believe it?“
the aussy looked at the girl, or rather young woman, and only grinned at her. „you’re giving me the creeps with that smile, os“, y/n giggled. „you look like the joker, who are you about to murder?“
„the one who’s been making you feel worthless, but that’s a different story“, he half whispered half sighed.
the young driver had to sigh, she knew the other drivers had caught on her emotions. but she didn’t think, that they’d know in this detail.
y/n grinned through the pang and hugged the australian. „thanks for being there for me“, she whispered.
the moment oscar wanted to say something sentimental, his teammate barged through the journalists and jumped on them both.
„i cannot believe it! my best friend, starting front row, my goodness“, he exhaled and inhaled again: „together! we’re starting front row together!“
y/n giggled once again, she felt, that this wasn’t the last giggle of the day. „will you let me pass?“, she asked jokingly.
lando looked shocked: „are you kidding me? nuh-uh, no way in hell will i let you pass, now that im a race winner, you’ll have to earn it fair and square!“
„fair“, oscar laughed. y/n shoved oscar outraged. „you’re on his side?“ - „i am a race winner too, you know?“
„indeed he is“, carlos called from the end of the garage. „oi, this isn’t your garage“, a mechanic of her team shouted, „this isn’t all of you guys‘ garage“, he said, as he realised two more drivers were present.
„let’s go, we‘re going to some hospitality or something“, y/n suggested. with an apologetic look towards the mechanics, the drivers left the garage.
„i’ll update the groupchat and tell them where we are“, lando mumbled. oscar’s and carlos‘ phone dinged, but y/n‘s was left out.
„wait, what groupchat did you text?“, she asked confused. „the one about you’re crisis-“ lando just saw carlos‘ and oscar’s head shacking no, as he slowly finished his sentence, realising his mistake, „-without you in it.“
„what?“ - „lewis and seb created a groupchat, to discuss some tips on how to lift your spirits, s‘all“, oscar slowly explained.
„okay“, said the female driver slowly. „thanks, i guess?“
„wait, so you all knew? i mean i kind of suspected you knowing, but you all knew? and what did you discuss?“
the three drivers thought carefully about their next words. carlos was the first to speak out: „nothing really. lewis just told us, that your behaviour reminded him of himself when he first joined mercedes and seb just told us, that he was talking with you about it and just kind of updated us.“
„y/n you’re very important to all of us, we love you and want you to be well. if somethings going on, we worry about you and want to fix it“, oscar supplemented.
„why didn’t you tell us?“ lando was the last to speak. his voice full of hurt. „oh lando, im sorry, i didn’t want to bother all of you with my shit“, she admitted.
daniel could see the falling tears on her face from far away. he could also see the many cameras realising their existence. he sprinted over to the four, to mainly shield them from the media, but his weird running drew more attention to the drivers.
„hi there, don’t cry, cameras“, he huffed. the little smile came back to y/n‘s face, as she looked at daniel’s red and out of breath face.
„hey i thought you were a high performance athlete?“, she smiled and wiped away her tears. „i am, athletes sweat, baby“, daniel said.
„i heard that that’s your last race, is it true, danny?“, she changed the topic from herself to the smiley australian.
„don’t change the topic, girly“, he smiled sincerely. „there’s no truth, until you get that breaking post on insta.“
„hey, but front row, huh? how nice does it feel?“, he asked her. still on the move, she nearly tripped, not only over her next sentence, but also over a curb; „very good but also kinda scary.“
„i got lando here in front of me and max behind me, just a little bit scary“, she elaborated further.
at the mention of the dutch, he appeared in front of the group suddenly. „i heard my name, what’s going on?“
„i get it, max is scary“, oscar whispered more to himself. „dude, how’d you do that?“, lando asked impressed.
„magic“, max waved his hand in front of his face and laughed. he high five’d y/n next and smiled at the other drivers.
„max is scary when he smiles“, said oscar slow and quietly towards lando, who agreed soundlessly. „hey, watch it“, max then pointed out.
on the other side, daniel was standing close to y/n, studying every twitch on her face. looking at carlos they silently communicated. the older two each grabbed a hand of hers and pulled her towards the next hospitality.
as usual, lando, max and oscar didn’t notice the other three‘s disappearance.
the two mercedes drivers, fernando and charles were already waiting. as soon as the female driver noticed lewis‘ braids, she sprinted towards him.
he though that she would gleefully hug him, but thought differently. with an angry step she stood in front of him. „how dare you make a groupchat about my feelings!“, she pointed a finger at his chest.
although she was small, she was fearful. her finger digging painfully into his chest, twisting every other second.
the older driver caved under her touch and slouched: „i’m so sorry, i just wanted to help.“
„by creating a groupchat? you could’ve just talked to me“, she sighed. „i know, but i thought i wasn’t the right person“, he admitted. „lew, you’re always the right person to talk to me“, she smiled lightly, „don’t ever do that again though!“
„okay“, he agreed, „but front row, love! how excited are you?“
and then she explained her thoughts all over again. noticing max not being here to make a scary entrance again. she explained happily, how the dutch suddenly appeared in front of her and how he reminded her of the flying dutch.
george and nando stood there listening to their favourite driver and grinned at her expressions and exclamations. her arms were up in the air, face twisted to match each of her words.
if that young woman would not be like this ever again, they swore to change the whole world for her.
„i’ll miss her“, daniel whispered to lewis. „oh buddy, it’s official then, this your last race?“
daniel nodded: „they have to recruite liam or he’s free to whichever team signs him.“ lewis looked at his friend, they’ve known each other for so long. it‘ll be weird without the australian on the grid.
„does she know?“, he then asked. „no, wouldn’t want to jinx anything and take her spirits away“, daniel hummed. „i get it, you have to tell her after the race though. wouldn’t be fair if she found out through insta.“
oscar, lando and max then trailed in with pierre, alex and charles. looking at the scene in front of them;
y/n telling some sort of story with fernando and george watching them and lewis with daniel standing on the side talking with hushed voices.
„we should celebrate“, lando said out of the blue. the female driver gasped upon hearing the random suggestion and turned around to face her best friend.
„yes, oh my god, that is such a good idea“, she excitedly said. „what should we do?“
charles said, that they could order pizza. pierre disagreed and said, that they should rent out a restaurant and eat authentic food. oscar thinks, that they should treat themselves with some spa time (they think, that lily really has a grip on that man).
lando suggested they’d go to the cinema. carlos said, that they should just go back to the hotel and do a relaxing movie night. lewis suggested they take a stroll with roscoe and leo. max thought some laps on the sim would be enough to celebrate.
george thought, that exploring singapore would be fun. fernando was just happy to tag along. daniel wanted to go swimming somewhere. and y/n, she really wanted to bury her face in ice cream and enjoy the time with her boys.
so that’s what they did. bought loads of ice cream, rented some movies at her hotel, turned her room into a home cinema and ordered some pizza too, just for fun. and of course roscoe had to stay there too.
after all that celebration, y/n was so tired, she fell asleep on fernando. he gushed and ushered the others to take some pics.
after tucking her in, setting the alarm for the next day, they all bid their goodbyes and left y/n alone. except lando - he stayed.
he was her best friend after all and he had to talk about all of the stuff with her. but it could wait until the morning, he was pretty tired himself.
as the alarm clock rang, y/n jolted up, confused as to where she was. seeing her hotel room, she remembered yesterday and what they did. she then felt someone moving beside her, turning around she saw a head full of curls and knew not to worry.
„lando, what are you doing here?“, she giggled. the mclaren driver groaned and stuffed his face into the pillow. „i have to talk about the stuff with you“, he then said.
„and you had to stay here why?“ - „because i knew i wouldn’t catch you before you would leave for the paddock, only logical solution was to stay here with you“, he finally lifted up his head and grinned at his best friend.
she laughed a little and ruffled up his hair. „you’re cute, but we don’t need to talk.“
he shook his head and made some grunting noises, disagreeing with her statement. „but we do, i need to talk about it.“
she told him everything he wanted to know. from the first time she thought she was not enough, to the phone calls with seb and to her feeling better over time.
„just promise me you’ll talk to me next time, okay?“, he begged her at the end of their conversation. she nodded. „say it, say that you’ll talk to me.“ - „i will, i will talk to you, lando, i promise.“
„good, but now, let’s get ready to race“, he grinned and changed the subject. y/n almost forgot, that they had a race to drive. and that she was starting from p2! „let’s go“, she excitedly said.
the day almost went by like a blur. the two arrived at the paddock, parted ways at her garage, bid good luck to each other.
she started her training session? warmed up with her trainer, ate some food, went to the toilet, that’s important. and then she already had to attempt the drivers parade.
she has never felt this nervous before. standing on that wagon, waving to the fans, not wanting to let anyone down, but mostly not herself.
the compulsive thoughts were coming back and she tried to remember what seb taught her. she breathed in for eight seconds, held her breath for seven, breathed out for eight again and held for seven. she repeated the box breathing method and tried to focus on the here and now.
lando saw her struggling to maintain a happy face and went over to her. „s‘all good?“, he asked in a hushed voice.
she nodded softly; „just trying to stay in the moment and not drift too far into the future.“
lando nodded, kind of understanding what she meant and just stayed by her side until the parade was over. as they parted ways for the second time that day, he hugged her and wished her only the best of luck.
her pre-race-ritual was listening to music, so she whipped out her headphones and blasted her loudest music on her playlist.
she almost jumped as her race engineer tapped her shoulder, to inform her that it was time to get into the car.
even though the first half of the day felt sped up, now everything was moving in slow motion.
she felt like james bond or any other action movie hero. her headphones still blasting music, she imagined herself looking total badass getting into her car.
step by step, nodding her head along to the music. arms flung up into the air to squeeze herself into the car. she mouthed some of the words as a mechanic gave her her steering wheel.
slowly she placed it into the socket and clicked it into it. still, everyone was moving in slow motion. she closed her eyes for a second, just trying to find her inner peace.
the music faded, she concentrated on her heartbeat. feeling it slow down, beat per beat. as she opened her eyes, the world was back to normal speed.
she took off her headphones, handed them to someone standing around the car. she lifted up her gloves, put them on and clapped her hands together.
„let’s get going then, ey?“, y/n then said to her crew. no clear answer came back, just some reassuring noises from around.
her helmet was laying in front of her, she looked at her drivers number, traced it with her finger and swiftly put it on.
the car was then rolled on to the track, everything was buzzing. she heard her race engineer checking the coms. hustling around her were all of the mechanics.
y/n went over the track once again. she knew every corner, she felt every bump on the road. her body knew when to turn, when to slow down or speed up. she knew what to do, this was her race.
she proved it by overtaking lando on corner one, lap one. right after the start there was a new race leader and they were called y/n l/n.
a woman was leading a formula one race.
she took off, she didn’t have to think about it, it was all muscle memory.
little did she know, lando was cheering behind her. even max was grinning like a mad man. for once both of them were content with not winning.
history was made on that day. as y/n crossed that finish line she couldn’t believe what was happening.
„y/n l/n, you are a formula one grand prix winner!“, she just heard her race engineer through her coms.
„and there it is, the first woman to win an f1 race, can you believe that we’ve just witnessed history?“
„i cannot, oh this is just fantastic! y/n proved that she could win, even with a mediocre car, just imagine her in a redbull or ferrari. this is beautiful, unbelievable.“
the female drivers head was spinning. what does she have to do now? in her whole career she only had one podium. but she was pumped with adrenaline that moment, she really just can’t recall what she has to do now.
she figured she’d just follow lando in her car and behold, she ended up at parc fermé. parking her car in front of the stand with the number one on it, she climbed out of it.
fuck, what cool pose was she gonna do? she hadn’t thought about that. just, improvise, she thought.
i’d will be embarrassing either way, she thought next. she took out her steering wheel, disconnected her helmet from the car and coms and jumped out of the car.
and then she just fell to her knees. at first sobbing into her helmet and not believing everything that has happened so far.
but the sobs quickly turned into laughter. she bowed, just like sebastian did, in front of her car.
sighing with happiness she stood up from the ground. lando came running to her, scooping her up and basically throwing her around.
„my god, you did it! you really did it!“
that was the actual moment, y/n realised what just had happened. that she had just won a grand prix. that she had just written history. that she had just done it.
max was coming from the other side, almost skipping. when have you ever seen max verstappen skipping?
„oh wow, this must feel so great, huh?“, he asked. „like a mountain falling from my shoulders actually“, she said.
she wanted to say so much more, but she was pulled aside to weigh. that procedure she knew. and then, there was her team, ready to celebrate the young driver.
just like lando, she sprinted towards them and jumped into the team. she was lifted up, chants were heard throughout the whole parc fermé.
„congratulations y/n, i knew you’d write history one day“, her team principal congratulated her.
from the side of her eye she saw christian horner giving her two thumps up. the next moment he mouthed: „let’s talk.“
does this mean? oh my god.
her chain of thoughts were broken, as lando pulled her along in to the cool down room.
she laid her helmet on the pillar and took the pirelli hat from the stand. her heart had finally time to calm down.
max and lando were grinning like crazy, as they approached the young girl woman. „congratulations, y/n, well done, perfect driving, couldn’t have done it better myself“, max told her. „ahhh, we’re both race winners!“, lando then shouted.
„that’s true! oh my god, i can’t believe it, and in the same season, high five!“
„who do i spray with my champagne, you or max?“, she suddenly asked. both men laughed at her question. „you spray whoever you want.“
so that’s what she did. before that, she closed her eyes at the national anthem. quietly sang along. never felt this much pride before. received the trophy and placed it far, far away from lando and shook that chanpagne bottle to spray all of the people present at the podium.
she took a swig of the god awful champagne, she remembered from last time how nasty it tasted. and she held her promise she once had with daniel.
at her first win, she would do a shoey, without any hesitation. she took of her sweaty shoes, sat down on the podium, filled the shoe up to the rim, hopefully the first sip would have the least amount of sweat and just started chugging it.
if you were present that day, you heard daniel ricciardo shouting and yelling at her from parc fermé. his whistling may have been recorded by the cameras, but who knows, the whole world was whistling for her in that moment.
nothing would ever beat that feeling ever again. drenched in sweat and champagne, chugged the mix of it and a heart full of love in that moment. she grinned at her win.
°°°
taglist: i feel like, im not gonna tag anyone for this, bc i haven’t posted in such a long time and i don’t wanna bother anyone…
so if you’re on my taglist and don’t want to be on it anymore, just post a comment under this and i’ll remove you :)
