hehehe that pun game tho

And you like being the perfect couple and you like how everyone admits that one day they hope to find a relationship as loving and supportive as you are with Josh

Which is why it’s so hard to admit that your life is falling apart 

It’s hard to admit it even to yourself – and much less to Joshua and everybody else that you know

Besides, he’s busy with his schedules and stressed out enough, you don’t want to tack on to that

Those internships that everyone thought that you were a shoo in for?

You haven’t got a callback from any of them

In fact, you’re pretty sure you saw one of your interviewers chuck your resume into the trash can just as you were leaving

All those high grades you’re getting? 

You haven’t gotten more than 3 hours of sleep in the past two months trying to achieve them

Living expenses are… Living expenses, and the combined rising rent and cost of living in Seoul has left you with barely a dollar to your name

Your family is stressing you out because they expect just as much from you as everyone else

And your fish died 

So yeah, life ain’t very pretty for you right now

But you don’t say anything because you think it’ll just pass over and that this is just a steep wall that you’re going to have to climb over

Another month passes and you wonder if the wall is made out of glass because although you can see the other side, it’s nearly impossible to climb and fragile to top

And any moment now, you feel like the glass might shatter and hurt you irreparably and you’re too afraid to do anything about it

Joshua notices your eyes look a little empty and that your walk is a little wobbly sometimes

He can feel that something is wrong

It’s his spidey-sense observing nature

And he’s a little hurt that you didn’t immediately tell him about it

But he trusts you to tell him everything when you’re ready

So he goes on as if everything’s normal though he subtly amps up the visits and affection and gifts

In fact, he’s visiting your apartment one day when everything finally crashes

He’s carrying your favourite bakery treats and some coffee to help you with your late-night cram session

He arrives and enters as usual, riding the elevator up and checking his hair in the elevator mirror to make sure his hair looks fine for his boo and all that

Finds your apartment with ease and knocks on the door. You don’t answer immediately but that’s fine, he’ll wait

He waits

And waits

Okay, maybe you didn’t hear him? He knocks again

He waits

And waits

Oh! You probably just have your earphones in, and are listening to music while you study. He’ll just call instead.

When your phone goes to voicemail twice, he starts to get a little worried. After all, he did call to notify you that he was coming. 

Of course, there’s always the possibility that you just fell asleep, but he can’t take that chance. He digs out the extra key from underneath the rug (he keeps telling you to move it but you always counter that if anyone is desperate enough to rob from a struggling college student with only textbooks and a crate of ramen in their possession, then it’s not worth the fight). 

And runs in to your apartment, forgetting the baked goods right outside the door

goshdarnit josh that shit’s gonna get snatched and you know it

He rushes into your small bedroom, only to find you cuddled up in a corner, rocking back and forth as your body shakes with your sobs 

He can see the strewn pages of your study sheets across the floor and it’s a little overwhelming but he doesn’t waste his time  in coming over and immediately taking you in his arms, whispering words of comfort inside your ear

“I’m here now, I’m here now. I’m sorry I wasn’t before.” 

“I love you, and you’re okay. I love you, and I’m here for you, whatever it is.”

He does this until you’ve finally calm down enough for him to push further. When you stop shaking he asks you:

“What happened, love?” 

Shoot, wrong thing to say? You start sobbing again and he tries to say that you don’t have to tell him but you just blurt it out anyway

“The fucking printer is broken!” 

Darn, he’s even more confused now

“I-I-I can go out and buy you a new one. Or we can go to the Pledis building and print whatever you want. In colour too!”

“And my fucking fish is dead,” you wail. 

“I don’t know any pet stores open this late but… We can steal the fish from the VP’s office? Beta, right? They’re even similar colours.” 

Josh is trying so hard to do what he can for you even though he’s lost and confused that you can’t help but chuckle slightly at the ridiculousness of it all, even though you must look awful with the tears streaming down your face.

“Shu, I can’t get you kicked out of Seventeen for stealing a fish.”

and hallelujah that’s a freaking smile he got out of you, so Joshua continues on because he feels like he finally did something right. 

“He’s got like 10 of them, he’s not gonna notice.” 

You let out a choked giggle and Joshua leans in to wipe away the tears and snot off your face.

“Really, what’s wrong? You’ve been out of it for a while.”

Which is when you lay it all on him: the internship, your lack of sleep, the pressure from your family and friends, high expectations, and how you felt guilty for not changing your fish’s tank water enough… The printer was the last straw for you

You even explain to him your glass wall analogy, and Joshua takes it all in stride

He nods at the right parts and asks you to elaborate when he doesn’t fully understand something because he wants to fully understand everything

You finish feeling a little less burdened, though still generally in a bad place

Josh, now fully caught up on the situation, leans in to kiss your forehead and tells you one last time that everything will be alright before insisting that you head off to bed

You try telling him that you just can’t but he’s not having any of it

And when Joshua’s firm and set, you know you can’t win

You reluctantly give in, but only if Joshua sleeps beside you tonight

He immediately agrees, and the both of you get ready for bed, Joshua taking back one of his shirts that you stole

He tucks you in and hops in beside you, recounting antics of the boys until you fall asleep

✄✄✄

You wake up to find that Joshua isn’t beside you anymore, and immediately start to worry

Did he leave in the middle of the night, deciding he’s had enough? 

But then you finally take a look around and ???

All of your stuff is tidy again, your work is all organized, and there’s a brand new printer set up too!! You’re busy admiring the new setup when Josh enters the room, breakfast platter in hand

“Ahh, I was hoping to return before you woke up.” He settles the platter down on your lap, before gesturing to your desk excitedly. “Like it?”

“Shu, you didn’t have to.”

“Yeah, I know the stapling and hole-punching feature is a bit much but that stuff can be a pain.”

“No, I meant– wait, it can staple documents for me?” 

Joshua goes to explain all the cool features and you realize just how damn lucky you are

You love him so damn much, and if you remember correctly, he said so too.

“Hey Shu, about what you said last night…”

“I’m still down for stealing the fish. Seokmin’s always telling me about how I got to live a little bit more–” 

“Shu, you said that you loved me.” 

He gets all flustered and blushy and he’s quick to reassure you.

“Yeah, of course I do,,, but don’t worry about it I just told you how I felt there’s no need to say it back but I’m always here to support you because I really do love you and if you think for one second that I’m not going to try my best and help you climb over this glass wall then you’re wrong and I’ve got a mountain of pillows and hugs to catch you if you fall and–”

“Shu, I love you too.”

This boy beams like it’s Christmas day– his face stretches so wide. He just stands there and stares clumsily at you for a while because he doesn’t know how to respond

He never really knows what to do when it comes to you

But that’s part of what makes it so exciting

Finally, he snaps out of it when he remembers something important

“By the way, you’ve got to move that key. There’s a thief in the neighbourhood, I tell you. Would you believe all the baked goods that I bought last night are gone. And they had the gall to leave a sticky note with a smiley face behind, the gall–”