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“The social Constuction of Gender” by Judith Lorber
While reading the article one of the key features that stuck out is humans tend to want to fit in, no matter the category maybe, the sense of longing to be recongized . Although we believe that our society is decided by what gentialia we are born with that is not the case, rather it seems that we change and construct categories in which we decide where we fall.
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I want to know why so many people (society in general) put so much emphasis on the genitalia between people’s legs. Not only is it very limiting when it comes to relationships but there is way more to life than that. To put people in a prison based on their genitialia is wrong. Or to subject yourself to that prison is a recipe for unhappiness. People have the right to be themselves regardless of gender and to determine who they want to be so they can be happy. There is more to life than sex (heterosexual or gay/lesbian) - there is shared smiles, laughter, eye contact, caresses, to share life together.
I am a person of what you see is what you get, I am who I am - that includes my less masculine ways such as sewing, baking, etc.
I just wish life wasn’t centered around genitialia, its such a low common denominator.
I'm in love with a man who doesn't see past the fact that I have a penis. We got drunk a couple days ago at a party, and he said that even though he supports transgender people, he would only have sex with a woman who had a vagina or who was "originally" a woman. Therefore he would only date a woman who was "originally" a woman at birth. This just upsets me so much because he's a good friend of mine too. It breaks my heart that I'm not good enough just because I was born with the wrong genitals.
I’m sorry to tell you this, but if he can’t see how amazing you are for your self and personality then maybe it’s time to move on. The only way i could see this not emotionally hurting you would be if he changed his mind, otherwise he’s transphobic and will only cause pain in the long or even short run as it is causing upset.
Do remember that others transphobia does not define your worth, “I’m not good enough” is incorrect, they don’t deserve you, if he makes you feel awful then he does not deserve you. You deserve someone who isn’t transphobic because you reserve the right to be judged by action not genitals or gender.
- Mod Blake
