#genryreflects

When I woke up today, the first thought that came into mind was doubt. I was doubting myself again if I am good enough for my dreams and goals. The problem with knowing what you want is the disappoint that comes with it when you fail at achieving a step to the destination. At some point you will realize maybe the failure is just a detour to the destination. You replenish your oil, you rest a bit, you clear the traffic, and when you’re ready to go it will be all good. Not all roads are paved so we must also be aware of the bumps and the humps. It might shake us a little, but not strong enough to make us fall. TYG for prayer time. It always makes me feel better.

If far more greater, and graver sins are forgiven, I guess I should learn how to forgive, too. I should unlearn how to hold a grudge, or the feeling of lasting "tampo". I don't think it's hard to forgive other people. I think it's harder to forgive yourself. In the same way, I think it's easier to forgive strangers that friends who you hold most dear. For what it's worth, here is to forgiving. 1. I forgive you for the hurt that came with the latter part of the friendship. 2. I forgive you for the pain I've suffered for being a friend. Though the pain is still debatable. 3. I forgive you for hurting me— wanted and unwanted. If the being greater than me can forgive, so can I.

“No force can withstand Christ’s power and authority... God’s word reminds us that no destructive force can keep anyone from the peace and safety which God offers to those who seek his help.” I guess what today’s prayer time told me is that nothing is impossible with God. He makes what seems impossible, possible. 

“Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” My reflection led me to a different context. I am afraid of the upcoming year. More accurately, I am afraid of the fruits of my upcoming gap year. I guess you could say I have little faith in myself. However, I’m trying to change that. Prayer helped me during my dark days. I believe it helped me become okay. Through prayer attained peace of mind. During those times, what got me through was strength– to keep on, to press on– from Him. I guess it’s time not to be afraid anymore. I have faith in Him. I also need to develop a greater sense of faith on myself. I just think I could do this. 

what is worse– planned, cold and calculated, or impulsively out of weakness and cowardice? should speaking, or blurting things out always be planned, and well-thought of? is speaking from the heart without thinking things through the implications of what one is saying that much trouble? bottomline though, i’d still rather write everything with just the right amount of well-thought of, and impulsivity.

i think what people fail to realize is that freedom is such a heavy thing to carry around. it’s such a huge responsibility to hold and yet, people, especially the young, are always on the run for it. commercial: sometimes, it’s such a lovely thing to have something on the palm of your hands, and just watch it slip away. sometimes the beauty is the transience of it all. but, really, what is freedom? in a society where even countries aren’t free from the hands of other stronger, more powerful countries, what really is freedom? in today’s gospel, i think, what spoke to me is that, in a world where we only see what we want to see, real freedom is attained through Him, through His love for us ever steadfast, ever faithful. freedom is such a huge responsibility. anyway, what i really got from today’s common prayer time is this: I am a writer, I am not a speaker (especially an impromptu one). but, one day i hope to be a confident speaker or sharer in public, in front of a huge audience. for now, i will stick to writing. 

from last night’s reflection, the most striking thing the speaker said was to embrace your adversities. it was really striking because it is what i have been trying to do– i have turned my view of my struggles into blessings. i have turned my goliaths (struggles, challenges, adversities) into blessings that i can learn from. i remembered all these from today’s prayer time. from today’s pt, what i find striking was what i can give up, or lift up. i will be taking a gap year to take subjects, but i also want to venture into service. i want to discover what service really is, what it really means, and offer mine to others. i still want to become a doctor. now, with a different reason– service. i want to be of service to people. i want to serve with the abilities i have. i want to be of service to people, through being a doctor, and at the same time, this will be my way of serving God. my service will be bigger than me. but for now, i hold on to this: His plans are always greater and bigger than my dreams, goals, and plans. also, i am grateful for the strength i have now. i am grateful that my anxieties, and worries about the future have subsided. truly, it works when you trust in Him.

why is it so hard to forgive? is it because of pride, or the magnitude of what was sinned against us? forgiveness, and mercy are difficult to give out, but aren't they also difficult to receive. receiving them means admitting to the sin committed. is it harder to forgive, or receive forgiveness? nevertheless, giving, and receiving them makes one lighter, makes one whole.