May 1st, 2020, I finished studying Genesis 20. It is amazing that Abimelek, a king of a small city near Canaan is more righteous than Abraham. Abraham made the same dreadful mistake as he did in chapter 12. It does not make sense since he has experienced Godās providential protecting care in Egypt (Gen. 12), defeated the kings (Gen. 14), received Godās promises (Gen. 12, 17, 18),Ā boldly interceded for Sodomites (Gen. 18), and witnessed God executing judgement (Gen. 19). Why, then, he still not trusts God would have saved from a city of Gerar, if it indeed was the city where was no fear of God (Gen. 20:11). What an irony that the king and the people in the city are more righteous than Abraham. Abimelek not just cares for himself but he shows deep concern for his people and his kingdom (20: 5). He gives chances for Abraham to explain (v. 9-10). He repays Abrahamās foolishness with generosity (v. 14-15) and he vindicates Abrahamās wife (v. 16). He responded to Godās prompt warning (v. 3) with such a positive attitude. He even admitted he should be blamed partly,Ā ā...how have I sinned against you that you have brought on me and my kingdom a great sin?ā (v. 9)Ā Ā
However, it was not Abimelekās righteousness prevent him from sinning. God is always the real hero (v.4, 17-18). God-given illness not only eliminates any possible adultery but does show His divine protection on the impeding covenant child-Isaac. Even when man messes up, Godās promise will never fail. He is omniscient and ominipotent.
God protects Abimelek from sinning against him, fixes the horrific damage would cause by Abrahamās deceitful scheme in order to protect his own life, and is continuously fulfilling the covenant He has established with Abraham.God is Almighty.
HowĀ many times does God save me from sin? How many times do I repent the same transgression over and over again? Why am I still the same wicked Chrystal as I was first saved. Why do I struggle the same when people treated me unjustly? Why do I fall into the same pit repetitively? It does not make sense! God has saved me from broken relationships. I have tasted His goodness by receiving His abundant provisions-Graduating from the seminary without any debt! He reconciled the most difficult relationship in my life, from someone who hating her own mother but now adorns her and love her; from disliking herself to praising God for the changes and the new life God has granted her. Why, then, I am still so sinful?
While Abimelek can treat someone who is so ungrateful and cunning with so much grace and generosity, I am so angry at the person who is ungrateful and falsely accuse me when I was actually helping her. Abimelek never said Abraham was not wrong. When he said to Sarah,Ā āBehold, I have given your brother a thousand pieces of silver...before everyone you are vindicatedā (v. 16), he showed his disapproval regarding Abrahamās scheme. But he did not repay evil for evil. I feel very ashamed. As God has sent a friend told me two days ago to comfort my heart, without knowing any detail, she saidĀ āForgiving someone does not mean what she/he has done was not wrong. We are not justifying nor clearing up othersā sins, but we know God sees every burdens in our hearts and inequity in the world.ā We can choose to forgive because what Christ has done and we are the ambassador of Jesus Christ so that we can imitate His example that set before. God vindicates. He does.Ā
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I cried after studying this chapter. Seeing my own sinfulness, comparing with Abimelekās act, I have no right to say,Ā āI have absolutely no faultā.
I want to leave the U.S.. I want to go to the place where the gospel is not preached nor heard. I want to live among the people which God has ordained for me to serve. I know for this time, God has called me to stay in the U.S., to finish my degree. How much longer, LORD, do I have to study. LORD, as I feel I lose my hope in You, You brought this chapter to me at this time, telling me that you sees andĀ you know more details than what Abimelek has disclosed (v.6). In responding to his innocence, God has already had a plan-use Godās giving illness to save him from the real disaster.Ā
Heavenly Father, I am exhausted and my shoulders and neck are hurting. Yet LORD, I trust you see everything that in me. Apart from the sins, struggles, and strongholds, you also see the desire to serve You and love You which You have placed in me.Ā
LORD, vindicate me, LORD. Do not let the lies overthrow me. Heavenly Father, please do not haste to rescue me. I need You,Father God, my LORD.Ā