#generally safe

Enter Smith, 20. Sometimes, Will doesn’t know how to process big feelings. He hides his phone screen to his chest as if somebody would want to take a look, and then he peers at the closed bathroom door where Mack is inside taking a shower.

He forces out a big sigh and clicks off of the article that just dropped and thinks about Rick Celebrini who just said those words. The entire league knows them as a duo: Celebrini & Smith, Smith to Celebrini, Will & Mack, Mack & Will…WillMack. Will closes his eyes and forces the feelings down for another day.

He doesn’t know if he’s happy or confused, and his previous therapist said if he doesn’t know what to feel, it’s best to keep it for another day to think about if he can’t do it now. No rash decisions as everything he might say is just something from the heart. Just some flowery words for the term “illogical”, Will supposes.

Mack opens the door and Will is greeted by the familiar scent of his aftershave. Something that smells like pine and citrus, and Will feels himself being lulled to sleep. 

Everyone always think that Mack is dependent on him, but behind the closed doors of Jumbo & Pat’s houses and shared hotel rooms, nobody knows how it’s never been just a one-way street. 

Will blinks sleepily and wordlessly opens up his blanket. Mack smiles, tired from their win against the Canucks, and slips in beside Will. Will turns over on his side, and not long follows a weight behind him and a nose on his nape. The blanket drapes over them, heavy and comforting.

-

i.

They formally meet at Development Camp.

It’s always been a blur being on opposing teams all their lives, but today, they both wear teal. 

“Celebrini.”

“Smith.”

A curt handshake. Professional.

It wasn’t ever serious. Mack is the first one to crack a smile. “Dude.”

Will easily follows, because Mack is just a teenager, just like him, and it’s as if they weren’t from rival schools or teams all their lives.

The chatter follows easily during camp breaks, lunch, and when it’s time to part, they follow each other on Instagram.

“This was fun.” Will admits as they’re walking out of the rink side by side. 

“Yeah! Same time tomorrow, eh? Wanna grab breakfast? There’s this sick chicken and waffles place around 10 minutes from here. Do you have a car? I can ask my dad to drive me there then we can drive here together!”

And. Yeah, Will does have a temporary rental because he’s alone in San Jose and Mack’s family is a few minutes away. And he fucking loves chicken and waffles for breakfast.

Now that he thinks about it, they’ve mostly talked to each other today and barely to the other prospects.

“That’ll be sick.” He tells Mack with an easy smile as his hockey back drags his shoulder down. “Send me the address and I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay! I mean we gotta be there early, though. 7 okay? I promise it’ll be worth it!” Will learns Mack’s smile and energy is contagious.

In Will’s head, he thinks ‘no, 7 is not fucking okay I’ll probably still be asleep by that time’, but what comes out of his mouth is, “7. Gotcha. Be there. Send me the address, okay? Don’t forget.”

Mack doesn’t forget and sends it to Will on Instagram by the time they’re both home. Will relaxes in his hotel bed, very relieved that Day 1 of camp had been great and he probably earned his first friend here. Relieved that Mack means it that they’re going to have breakfast tomorrow.

And it’s worth it meeting Mack the next day at 7am cause the food is good but Mack’s bedhead is even better.

Will doesn’t know it yet, but it’s just the start of what his life will be. In the NHL.

- ii. October 10, 2024.

It’s fucking scary.

They’re making their NHL debut—just 2 college-aged kids in a league full of big, buff, veterans with wives and multiple kids. And Sidney Crosby. And Ovechkin. 

Will wants to pee every 5 minutes from how nervous he is, but he doesn’t really show it. Mack does, because everything Mack does is so open, heart on his sleeve, like the endearing boy that he is. Despite being confident in his skills, it’s still never-wracking to go out there and play real hockey while being paid to do so. Gone are the days of home rinks and what little college party they experienced.

They make their rookie lap to the delight of many, and for a brief moment, Mack looks at Will and they smile at each other.

They pass by each other while on a loop, and Mack says to him, “This is it, bud. We’ll break legs, yeah? Hopefully not literally.” 

It makes Will laugh, and Mack won’t know that it’s enough to calm Will down from the nerves and jitters that are all over his body. Mack gets his first NHL goal in his first NHL game, and he gets an assist, too, but they lose in OT. Great game, even though Will didn’t get anything.

After the game, Mack is a bit frustrated but happy in the locker room as he gets swarmed by reporters and journalists. Will gets his turn for the interview, but not as lengthy as Mack’s. 

That was the very first night he experiences what he calls Big Feelings, because when he gets back to his room at Patrick Marleau’s house after their respective dinners with their families, Will lies restless in bed thinking and overthinking about what he could have done, how it could have been, if he had only gotten a goal or even a point for a secondary assist. He thinks about Mack and his 2 perfect points that helped the team tonight, how he could have also done that, but he also thinks about the smile Mack gives him just before they part with their families.

“Great game, Smitty. You looked really good out there. See you tomorrow, yeah?”

Will doesn’t know. He has no habit of watching his tapes to scrutinise himself but maybe he really should now that this entire ordeal is serious. 

At 12:17AM, just before his eyes finally droop down to a close, his phone pings with a DM from Mack. It’s a downloaded Tiktok video of a spot near the rink. Mack sends it with a ton of :p emojis and a long yummmmmmmmmm!!

It’s fucking chicken parm. Will smiles sleepily and types, ‘might drive u if u treat me’

The reply is immediate. ‘i’ll treat u forever if u drive me 4ever lolololol after practice tmrw!’

Will exhales and finally feels his body shut down.

He never knew he needed a really good chicken parm after he and Mack demolish it the next night. 

- iii.

Will loves Leno, he does, but sometimes he’s just a pain in the fucking ass.

It’s supposed to be a great summer, and it had been a good day. Just 3 old buddies lounging in the pool in Will’s parents’ house, talking about nothing and everything just like they did back in BC.

“Not all of us are liars, Smitty.” Oh he went there.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

BC is struggling without Will. Well, it’s not really Will’s fault per se since he’s not the only player on the damn team, but sometimes Will thinks Leno just can’t keep his feelings to himself most days. If it’s a problem to Ryan Leonard, he’s going to make it everyone’s problem. Mostly Will’s. 

“It means what it means, Will. You said you’d stay.” They had one too many beers and a bottle of Clase Azul that Grace managed to sneak them. Ryan has never been the best drunk. 

Later that night, when Gabe and Leno are both passed out in the guest room, Will sneaks back into his own room and texts Mack. Yes, they’re out of Instagram and had each other’s numbers. 

‘running drills?’

The response is immediate. ‘i won’t wish lol. just swam in the lake today and walked the dog. had a lobster’

‘fancy [lobster emoji]’

‘leonard giving u hard time? lol’

Will knows Mack is just making fun. Will mentioned in passing before how Leno’s just a bit too much to handle.

‘yeah actually’

Will was startled by the FaceTime call, but he answers in 4 rings after snapping out of it.

“What is the great Will Smith up to at this hour.” In Will’s screen, he sees Mack and his little brother RJ beside him. They’re both bellies down on the bed looking so alike and not at the same time. “Hi!” RJ greets him enthusiastically. It’s cute.

“Hi, buddy.” Will greets RJ first with his full smile, and then he feels himself finally relax in his childhood bed. “Not much here. Might go shopping tomorrow or something.”

Mack makes a noise, “No!” He nearly screams RJ’s ear off. “No, we get back to San Jose one day early and then we go shopping. I’ve been wanting to buy some stuff, too. C’mon Smitty, say yes!” 

And it’s not because RJ is right there that Will says yes, but Will realises, about a year down the line, that he has never denied Mack anything. 

Back in San Jose, they make do on their promise to be back one day early. They really do go shopping. A bunch of fancy shoes for their suits, Mack gets a new phone, while Will gets himself VR googles. Mack wants to laugh, but Will had talked his ear off about this stupid VR goggles for about 3 months so he decides against it.

Back at Jumbo’s house, Mack presents they get Chipotle via Doordash, and says he’ll be back in a minute while Will settles on the couch. 

When Mack gets back, his hands are behind his body and there is a sinister smile on his face that is so, so big.

“Are you gonna kill me here?”

“Close, but this is your super duper belated birthday present.” Mack finally gives it, and Will’s jaw drops. With a little crooked blue ribbon is a 2025 Titleist GT2. “WS2! I had it engraved in there!”

“Fuck off.” Will stares stupidly at Mack, like the true mouth breather that he is, then back at the golf club in his hands with the WS2 indeed engraved in there. Then back at Mack. “Fuck off.” Will might cry, this is so fucking thoughtful of Mack.

“I feel so bad I wasn’t able to give you anything last March.” And then proceeds to give Will the best and most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given him. 

“Budd-“ “Do you like it?” Mack’s smile is so fucking big and contagious. “I love it, Mack. Thank you.”

In bed, later that night, he forgets how Leno’s words had weighed him down for the rest of the summer. Before his drifts, he thinks about his new club he mentally named Willy and dozes off with a small smile. - iv. Some days are just harder than the rest.

It’s Colin who sees him, crouched in the empty locker room of the rink where they have open practice. He is clutching his phone so hard that it might actually shatter in his grip. Will wants to heave and shout just to let it all out.

“Hey, buddy. You okay?” Colin has always been nice. He’s goofy, just like him and Mack, but Colin often switches to quiet mode most of the time so it’s not like him and Will has the closest bond. But today, it’s close enough. Colin crouches down and finds Will’s hand shaking. The phone is taken away from his hand and placed face down on his stall. “Breathe, Smitty.”

“I’m so fucking useless sometimes.” Will admits. “Don’t say that, man.” Colin has always been nice. “Are you having a panic attack? You’re shaking, Will.” Colin rarely calls him by his real name. 

“I’m so fucking useless on this team and—“

“Say that one more time. I’m calling Mack.” Colin doesn’t give him much choice, but then again, it doesn’t really take Mack long enough to locate him just because they are actually attached to the hip.

“Smiiiitty-“ He calls, cut short when he sees Will crouched on the floor with Colin hovering around him. “William Charles Patrick. What’s wrong?” His full name used means it’s a demand. “You talk to him.” Colin shoots at Mack, offering Will a what’s supposed to be a comforting pat on the back, but it stings a bit with the hockey gloves that Colin has on.

Mack rushes to his side and all but sits down on the floor, cross-legged in front of Will. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Mack searches Will’s face for anything, trying to hold on to Will’s wrist and forces him to sit down, too. “You can tell me.”

And what’s there to tell? It’s his Big Feelings. Sometimes, Will thinks that he’s just a 4th draft pick for a reason, and why Mack is 1st. When the passes don’t connect, the plays don’t come to fruition, the forechecks, turnovers…sometimes, sometimes it all gathers in the back of Will’s head and weighs him down. As much as he loves playing with Mack in their line, he can’t help but wonder. 

He remembers a sermon before, from church, when the priest said jealousy is a disease. 12 year old Will never got what it means, but it just stuck to him. Sometimes, it looms larger than him and takes over his whole body that it’s impossible to just ignore.

He looks at the wall clock perched on top of the door. 10 minutes, if he tells Mack right now, it won’t be enough time. 

“I’ll be fine. Maybe later?” 

Later is them in Jumbo’s guest house. It’s almost time for Will to go home, but Mack beats him to it. 

“Hey, don’t you have something to tell me?” A pause. “Maybe you can sleep over?”

It’s one of many sleepovers, but this time, Will wants to decline the offer but his body says otherwise. “Okay.” 

Mack listens patiently, with a very evident frown on his face, as Will talks about his Big Feelings. It’s the first time he’s talking about it with somebody, although he never really tells Mack that he’s one factor. Once Will was coherent enough back at the rink, he tells himself he can’t really blame Mack. He’s number 1 for a reason and it’s not something Will can change. It’s just self-hatred on his part, and being young and insecure. 

“I think you’re doing really good. We’re not perfect yet, but it’s only been…barely a year, y’know?” Mack says we, and Will feels one drop of ice fall down. “And you’ve only ever been the one to humiliate me as a hockey player.” Mack says it with light ease, as if it didn’t really matter to him that Will was beating his team left and right back in the day.

Mack is not the guy you go for if you need big, eloquent words. Mack is the one you go to if you want a good yap session. But in the quiet of Joe Thornton’s guest house where a Macklin Celebrini is currently living, William Charles Patrick Smith is sprawled on the borrowed couch with his guard down, letting a kid younger than he is soothe the pinch in his heart, the weight in his head with every simple word spoken. And possibly fingers idly playing with his curls. He didn’t know when Mack started doing that.

“You’re drafted 4th for a reason. Higher than Leonard and Perreault and they are your lineys. Sorry to say that about your boys, but you know what I mean, yeah?” It’s a teasing smile that only Mack can make and still look like a clueless angel. He doesn’t even feel bad about the jab at Gabe and Ryan. Mack doesn’t see his draft number as something lower than 1st like how Will sees it lower than 3rd. To him, Will has been an equal from the start. “You’re doing good, bud. We’re gonna rock this league. I just know it.”

That night, as they share the king size bed with a decent amount of distance (an arm), Mack snores louder than his white noise and Will stares at him in thanks before he drifts off to slumber feeling better than he did this morning. - v. Present Day

Will wakes up with two things in mind: there’s Mack’s hand on his heart as he sleeps and Mack’s soft breath on his nape.

And a text from Rick.

‘You boys keep doing that and the Cup will loom closer than you think. Be safe always, love you both and see you soon. Dad’

Okay so maybe three things. Rick Celebrini does not throw words lightly. And contrary to popular belief, he treats them just like how a normal father would.

Will tries to go back to sleep and snuggle in, and Mack, even asleep, will pull Will in closer until they’re practically one body. Two halves of a whole. Will feels a light press of lips on his nape and smiles to himself.

The hand on his heart moves to a slow up and down motion. Soothing, comforting, grounding. Will didn’t really know how much grounding he needed to be out of his headspace and Big Feelings until Mack did it and somehow Will feels infinitely better at the end of the day. Today, Will forgets what he was feeling last night. Somehow, there's a click inside his brain that wills it to just stop. Everything's okay. Everything will be okay.

A lot of people say Mack needs him, that he is Mack’s balance in their world of sports and chaos. Macklin entered this league, basically a kid, and it has been Will and him since the beginning of their professional careers.