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sorry just. with dean it’s not that he is failing the attempt at assimilation into white cisheteromasculinity. rather, the act of attempt is itself the failure. it is by the sheer act of trying that the failure of the normative is revealed.
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I want Sam to come out to Dean as nonbinary, but Dean doesn't really know what that means.
So he says, "Oh, okay. Should I call you by a different name or something?"
And Sam goes, "No, I'm just telling you I'm not a man."
Dean still has no idea what's going on and says, "... Okay... Are you a woman then?"
It clicks for Sam then, and they ramble out a whole explanation about how they don't feel like a man or a woman, that they're something else. They don't quite know what exactly they feel like, but nonbinary is good enough to cover for it now.
Dean's kind of blown away by that. He never really thought you could just... opt out.
"So, what exactly is going to change? Are you gonna be wearing silk stockings with your steel toes?"
Sam rolls their eyes at the crass joke but otherwise ignores it. "I want to you use they/them pronouns for me from here on out. I don't want to be referred to with any gendered terms like man or brother."
Dean's face kinda crumples at that, so Sam rushes to tell him, "Person is fine. Or sibling."
"That's kinda awkward to say, isn't it?" Dean asks.
"Only if you make it awkward." Sam says.
Dean swallows thickly, fiddles with his fingers. He obviously had something on his mind.
"Just ask, Dean. It's okay," Sam reassures him.
Dean sighs. Clears his throat. "Can I still call you Sammy?"
"Yeah, Dean, of course." Sam smiles at Dean and feels relief when Dean smiles back.
So Dean tries his best. There are still some half formed "little bro-"s that come out, a few "he-- I mean they"s overheard while Dean's on the phone. But he only does one or two double takes when Sam paints their nails or their eyes, holds back the stupid comments when Sam's wearing something more feminine than usual. And that's what matters.
And then, when Dean's making fun of Sam for something, maybe about their salad or their exercise routine or whatever, and says as smooth as anything, "Where did I go wrong with you, little sib?"
Sam feels like they're both okay.
they are about 2 beat up a transphobe
a human cas doesn’t conform to cisheteronormative standards of dress or behavior, which makes dean self conscious at first but ultimately helps him overcome his own performative masculinity to make peace with the feminine parts of himself too
[ID: “DEAN / What do I look like—Dr. Angel, Medicine Woman?”]
here’s another one for the dean gender folks <3
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Musicgender umbrella
Musicgender or Musigender: A catchall term for any gender that is related to musicianship or music theory. See also: Melogender, Cadensgender, Musicagender.
Terms coined by: Unknown
[Image: Flag with 6 stripes with thinner black stripes separating each stripe. Colors start from light paper colored, gradually getting darker until its a light brown in the center, fading back out to the light paper color]
Full size [Here]
Below are most of the genders that fit under this umbrella. Warning: loong post.
dean is one of those unfortunate guys who was told he had delicate features etc his whole life and as a result spent so much time and effort constructing his identity and sense of self in direct opposition to people calling him gay so it delays his coming out by at least a decade
pardon the joke, if you will, but i really feel that the final frontier of analysis of the construction of masculinity that is dean winchester is his love of cowboys. like they really wrote that for him. presumably because of the john wayne white masculinity of the cowboy, the rough and tough man’s man, the han solo type. but we know that itself is a construction! the historically accurate cowboy is often a man, yes, but he is a person of color and, very often, queer. brokeback didn’t come out of nowhere. the cowboy is a site of queer escapism. like. truly dean winchester is constructions all the way down.
