#genderisweird

What The Heck Do Men Want?

So, over at the Good Men Project, they have a story called “Five Traits Men Want in a Partner That We Never Say Out Loud.”

As a woman, I (Carrie) find this pretty frustrating. Why do men not say these things aloud? 

Paul Marsh of the Good Men Project writes: 

Most of us are just terrified of vocalizing what we want and 1) being laughed at or ridiculed in some capacity, 2) not having our…

So I identify as a man. I have been identifying as a man for the past 2 years and went by the name I go by for that same amount of time.

However, things once again because scrambled again.

So, quick backstory....

I discovered I was trans in 5th grade, but up until halfway through 8th grade, I identified as either agender or genderfluid. I started to actually feel like a guy after then and came out and decided that my name would be what it is now.

So to continue, now things are weird again. I know gender is really weird and confusing, but I don't know. I still feel masculine, but I feel completely androgynous half the time and kind of took a liking to the name Jamie, something my boyfriend said he would have suggested if he knew me before I came out.

The thing is, people already use he/him pronouns with me and use my name so I feel like i would be confusing people more than I should if I come out again and suggest a new name. Like, for two years, people have known me for my name and actually use my pronouns, but oml NOW my body is like

"hey....."

YOUR NOT ENTIRELY MALE!!!!"

Granted, I still feel male and still get dysphoric over my chest and other places and still want to go through hormone replacement therapy and (hopefully) top surgery, but I just feel like i am once again in the middle again.

Maybe this could be from recent events that leave me stuck between cis men and women, but I'm not entirely sure.

I haven't spoken to my partner or anyone about this yet, but after I get a haircut tomorrow, I plan on discussing it with my partner.

So for now...