#gender something

yes im agender but also genderfluid but i kinda prefer he/they pronouns but i still like she sometimes it depends but also im transmasc and a femboy

i still place myself very labelless, somewhere between agender and genderfluid if you wanna get into it, but im fine just being "one o' them darned transgenders." however, i also am wanting to figure out What The Fuck is going on in Genderland. and i think i might have.

i like feminine things in a boy way. I want my character base to be masculine. i hate waist definition, i hate my tits, i want a boxy shape and a v line. but masculine things are so boring. sports make my joints hurt, i like wearing actual color, i like skirts and i like the idea of lots of jewelry and makeup, i like showing emotion. i want to be a boy in a dress, but i dont fully want to be a boy either. my sense of personal gender validity (definitely not the right words but close as i can get) is very tied to others perception of me. i want them to see me and think "boy in a skirt" or "what the hell is that." i think this is why once i get close enough with someone, i stop caring about what pronouns they use on me. i feel that their perception of my gender no longer matters, because they know me and they have been perceiving me many ways likely for a while.

i love when a stranger calls me a boy, or implies im a boy. i do not love when a stranger assumes im a girl. i do not care, however, how a close friend genders me, because there is no assuming left to be done. if someone who doesnt know me thinks im a boy, then i must come across as boy (usually young boy, but i will take what i can get.) if someone i do know genders me as she, well, whatever, they know The Bullshit. however, accidental misgendering still hurts (esp when things have been fine for like 2 years), because it feels like i am not Boy or Androgynous enough for them to remember the correct pronoun/pronoun set that i have provided them. feel free to treat my pronouns like okuri inu and fake a rest when you stumble, itll probably make me feel better.

(nobody who knows my tumblr and me irl needs to hear this pronoun nuance cause theyre great, my mother does need to know it but i wont tell her bc it might make her sad.)

still identifying predominantly with agender and genderfluid, but this was the Random Bullshit. i dont actually care much abt my naked body, i care more about my shape through clothes because that is how others perceive me. i do not like feeling my tits though, regardless of clothing. its just ahghh thats not supposed to BE THERE someone come get your skin bags of liquid fat OFF MY CHEST goddamn you (here we have the reason why i want top surgery but not bottom surgery, idc abt bottom surgery, no one is else gonna perceive that if i have anything to say abt it)

I don’t know what I identify as. At all. But i do experience intense gender envy towards characters and people lmao so take that as you will….

Here is a “no shame” list of the worst ( most intense?) THINGS I experience gender envy from

( added a cut because this shit is long lmao. This is also not numbered in a certain order.)

I ABSOLUTELY would recommend gc2b. It’s COMFORTABLE. I mean, I can breath. I’ve had this one for almost a month now, and I’m still in love. Yeah, it doesn’t get me perfectly flat, but I’m also a DD cup, so... I think it does a pretty damn good job.