#genank

subs: the only good selfie angle is from above

doms: sounds like a skill issue

Baking

Pairing: Anko/Genma

Words: 661

For: @lemony-snickers who's always talking to me about great ideas/headcanons and constantly feeding the fandom with beautiful fics <3

The Jonin Holiday party was a big deal for everyone who could participate. Every Jonin not out of the village on a mission was given the night off to enjoy good friends, good company, and enough alcohol to ensure anyone who wasn’t a ‘designated Adult’ would have difficulties getting out of bed the next morning.

It was supposed to be a day of fun. So why had Gemma decided to ruin it all by volunteering to make cookies for the party?

“You didn’t volunteer,” Anko objected, smiling from her spot on the counter when he glared at her. “You’re muttering under your breath.”

Of course, he was. Who wouldn’t be in this kind of situation?

“Remind me to stab him,” there were a lot of things Gemma could forgive. The constant trolling, the teasing. He could even forgive the man for dating his old teammate.

But volunteering him for baking duty just because he wasn’t going to be going away on a mission. Kakashi was going to pay.

“I doubt you would get close enough to stab him,” slipping off of the counter, Anko slinked up to his side. Her hands settled on his shoulders and fingers kneading deep into the muscle. “Kakashi outclasses you, lover boy. You wouldn’t even get a kunai to his throat before he had his Chidori through your heart.”

Harsh.

Her words were correct. Kakashi wasn’t regarded as one of the top shinobi in Konoha for no reason. Still, she didn’t need to remind him. That information only existed to wound his ego.

“Of course, there are other options,” her fingers dug in just a bit deeper, successfully working out a knot just under his shoulder blade with a satisfying ‘pop’. “A little bit of poison in one little cookie. A treat saved just for him upon his safe return.”

“He’ll never take it,” the idea is tantalizing though. The perfect revenge. “Besides, actually killing him would be a bad thing.”

Konoha would be down a strong shinobi, and more importantly, Gai would be upset. Gemma refused to be the one to upset Gai. Especially after all the effort, he had put into keeping Kakashi alive up to this point.

“Not all poisons are lethal, lover boy. You should know that” slipping her hands off of his shoulders, she stepped off to the side. “Just a drop of the right one, in a single cookie, and Kakashi will never volunteer you for a job without permission again. Not without thinking about it really hard first.”

It sounded like a delightful idea. He could just imagine the look on Kakashi’s face when he realizes what has happened to him.

“We- we’re not actually going to poison him, are we?” while the idea did sound splendid, Hatake Kakashi was not a man who would ever let them live down their actions.

Stepping forward, Anko turned the page to the cookbook Gemma had borrowed from Kurenai. “Of course we’re not going to actually poison him,” she huffed. “Still, it’s fun to think about.”

“That it is,” wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her back against his body and dipped his head to press a kiss against her collarbone. “We’ll just have to save a poison cookie for an enemy,” Even if putting Kakashi in the hospital was infinitely funnier, at least with an enemy he could get some payback without landing himself into trouble. “Slip it into the bag while they’re not paying attention. They can find it when they’re far away from me.”

“Now you’re talking,” Anko chuckled, planting a hand in his hair and giving it a ruffle while ignoring his protests. “Maybe a whole batch of poison cookies. Get as many of them as we can.”