"There was a case where a certain man set his eyes on a certain woman and his heart became [so] consumed with burning desire [that his life was endangered]. When doctors were consulted, they said, "His only cure is that she submit to him." The sages responded, "Let him die rather than have her yield." "Then let her stand naked before him," [the doctors said]. "Let him die rather than that she stand naked before him." "Then let her at least talk to him from behind a fence." "Let him die rather than that she talk to him from behind a fence."
- Babylonian Talmud,Ā SanhedrinĀ 75a
"This passage, one of the most misunderstood in the Talmud, has led more than a few people to conclude that the sages were so puritanical that they deemed it preferable that an unmarried man die rather than converse with an unmarried woman.
However, this narrative has little to do with illicit sexual behavior; it really concerns emotional blackmail. Imagine the societal damage that would ensure if whenever one person's will was thwarted by another, the rejected party said he [or she] would die if the other party did not grant whatever he or she wished. Ultimately, the fact that this man is obsessed with this woman isĀ hisĀ problem, and his alone (the Talmud provides no indication that the woman had led him on); thus, he is not entitled to make demands of her. As Hyam Maccoby insightfully notes: "What the story is really telling us is that no woman is required to sacrifice her status or dignity for the sake of a madman."
What makes this case so unusual is the doctors' claim that the man's life is at stake. Normally, when such a diagnosis is made, Jewish law permits a whole range of otherwise forbidden activities. For example, if the doctors had said the man must eat unkosher food lest he die, the Rabbis would have permitted it. But Jewish law never permits imposing unreasonable demandsĀ on others, even when a life is at stake. Thus, if the same man should insist that his cure is conditional on other people's eating unkosher food, this would not be permitted. Standards of behavior in Jewish life cannot be determined by the insane or the intransigent."
-Jewish Wisdom, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, pages 133-134















