#gansta.

Nicolas watched with a frown as Alex took another deep breath, her steps slowing slightly as they neared the court house. They had both received letters a few days prior about needing to be present for her ex boyfriend Barry’s court hearing, and it was obvious that needing to think back on her time with him had been weighing heavily on her shoulders. She really had been through a lot while she’d been with him, and the last time she’d seen him had been back when Nicolas had nearly beaten him senseless for his actions. Frowning at seeing her so withdrawn, he set a hand on her shoulder, frowning at the attempt at a smile he was given back.

Still, to see her even standing out there in the parking lot said more than enough for those that knew her. Connie would text or email frequently whenever it seemed as though she was either having trouble in some way, or she had found Alex huddled in her room, trapped in her memories of when he’d terrified or beaten her. Even just knowing those times still happened made him wish he could beat the shit out of him all over again. She never told anyone many details about those times, but just seeing the fear on her face and how badly she shook from the trauma was enough to leave him seething. Alex had made a lot of progress, but demons like hers could hardly be so easily dismissed, regardless of how hard one fought.

Well, you almost had me fooled Told me that I was nothing without you Oh, and after everything you've done I can thank you for how strong I have become

Going up the steps and checking in with her, Nicolas took her hand as they waited on a bench in front of the assigned courtroom, his frown deepening as he felt her trembling. It seemed like forever before the bailiff waved for them to go inside, taking a seat near the jury stand. It was a small gathering of people sitting in there, but without knowing any of them, he wasn’t about to assume any of them would think very kindly of Alex. These things were often painted ridiculously, making it seem as if it was somehow the victim’s fault that everything happened rather than someone just being a disgusting piece of shit.

After a few minutes, he and Alex stood when told as the judge came in, glancing sidelong at her when he felt her tense as they asked Barry to come in with his security escort. Still, she kept up a strong front, her expression looking far colder than he knew her to be for anyone. Watching carefully at the woman who had been provided by the court to relay things in sign language, he was able to more easily follow along what all was happening, giving Alex a nod when she was called  up to take the bench.

'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is I wish you farewell

“Ms. Benedetto, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help your God?”

“Yes sir.”

“Thank you. Now, would you please describe what happened to you while you were involved with Mr. Abbott?”

“Y-yes, sir.” She took a deep breath, her hands kept folded tightly in her lap as she fought against the urge to cry and hide from the man sitting not far from her in the courtroom. “At first, when we met, he had been nice...a real gentleman. Then, he would get angry when I went out with friends, yelling and throwing things around. I had to let him know when I was just going out for work, and even then it...he was so angry with me...”

“Can you describe a time he was especially violent toward you, or did things never go beyond these kinds of acts?”

“No, they...he’d hit me. Hitting me, yelling at me when I, I thought I hadn’t done anything worth that kind of anger. And, a few times, he... he drugged me, and I’d wake up, other men I hadn’t, ever seen or met before would be... But I couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything to, to fight back...”

I hope you're somewhere praying, praying I hope your soul is changing, changing I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, praying

“And are able to recall how many times Mr. Abbott did these things?”

“I...by the end, I don’t know exactly. There, didn’t seem to really be any rhyme or reason to any of it-” Alex flinched when she heard the screech of the hardwood chair Barry sat in on the tile as he moved to try interrupting her, his lawyer speaking in strong, hushed tones to get him to be quiet and not do or say anything more damning.

“Ms. Benedetto, considering your claim of being drugged by Mr. Abbott, are you certain these things actually happened?

“Eh, what do you mean?”

“Well, many psychedelic drugs can have very...convincing, hallucinations. So it wouldn’t be far fetched if what you say you experienced would have simply been fabricated by taking them-”

“...why, why would I just...make any of this up?”

“Well there has been precedence for some women to claim, often outlandish and cruel things of their former partners in order to get some sort of satisfaction for the emotional pain caused during a breakup...”

I'm proud of who I am No more monsters, I can breathe again And you said that I was done Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come

Alex stared at the man with disbelief, glancing over and seeing her anger and frustration reflected in how Nicolas was sitting. “I don’t know who you think you are, trying to make it sound like I would just make all of this up because of something as trivial as a ‘bad breakup’!” Pointing directly at where Barry sat, Alex let her anger show, her eyes flashing coldly with a tight frown. “That...man, sitting right there, beat me, left me scared for my life multiple times, drugged and allowed strange men to rape me, and then attempted to ‘teach me a lesson’ in public while I was at my former place of employment! Everyone there saw what he was trying to do, and none of your damn accusations of myself or other women can ever change that!”

“Ms. Benedetto, please calm down-”

“Your honor, I will be calm when I’m not dismissed simply by having been born with ovaries!”

'Cause I can make it on my own And I don't need you, I found a strength I've never known I've been thrown out, I've been burned, I'll bring thunder, I'll bring rain When I'm finished, they won't even know your name

You brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is I wish you farewell

Unable to help from laughing at that, Nicolas chuckled deep in his throat at how fiery she could be at times, and thankfully this time it had been more than warranted. The defender was an asshole defending an asshole. Watching as Alex was allowed to step down, he nodded when the older woman up front caught his attention and signed that he should step up.

[Mr. Brown, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?]

[Sure.] Sitting down, the woman who was there to sign for him let him know she was there if he needed clarification for anything said, taking a seat where she could see everything and could be seen.

“Now, Mr. Brown...you assaulted my client.”

[Only disappointed that someone stopped me.]

“...ah, y-yes, well... Um, can you please, explain why you did this?”

Nicolas raised a brow at the ridiculous question, surprised that the man would actually ask such a stupid thing. [You’re kidding right?]

“Uh, no... Why did you act against Mr. Abbott in such a way?”

[Wouldn’t you if you saw a friend being roughly handled and obviously scared of threats of violence?]

“W-well, you certainly could have tried, speaking to him first?”

[In case you didn’t notice, assholes like him don’t really know when to shut the fuck up.]

“Mr. Brown, please watch your language. This is a court of law...”

[Oh shit, sorry.] Smirking at how frustrated the man was, soon after Nicolas was also asked to step down, taking his seat next to Alex again and leaning back. Watching as they heard from Barry and the jury went to go and deliberate the outcome, he glanced over at Alex when she tugged at his sleeve.

[Thank you, for being with me today.]

[No problem. You put up a good show too you know.]

[I hate that man so much right now...]

[I have a big chunk of clay back at my place. Wanna take out some frustration on it after this?]

[...you know, I think I’d like that. Thank you, Nicolas.]

I hope you're somewhere praying, praying I hope your soul is changing, changing I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, praying

It seemed like forever before the jury came back in and took a seat again, a young-looking man handing over their decision to the judge as they all settled. “Mr. Abbott, please stand.” Alex held her breath as he did as he was ordered, gripping a loose part of Nic’s sleeve again to keep herself seeming stronger than she felt.

“Mr. Abbott, it is the unanimous decision of this court, that you are guilty of all charges presented against you. You will be sentenced to a length of ten years, eight of which will not be eligible for parole. During your incarceration, you will receive counseling to aid in your rehabilitation for when you are ready to re-enter society. Court is adjourned.”

Alex let out a breath she hadn’t known she had been holding at the final verdict, glad that for at least eight years, there was no chance of her ever running back into Barry again. Standing as the judge left and the bailiff came over to escort Barry back to his cell to await transport to prison, she wore a hard expression despite her trembling hands as he passed by. “Good luck when I get out of there bitch...”

“Keep it moving Abbott.”

Watching sidelong as Barry was taken toward the door near the back of the courtroom, Alex felt her anger boil up, quick steps taking her over as her heels clicked loudly on the wood floors. Waiting for Barry to turn his attention back to her, she simply stood there, a deep frown on her face and carrying herself tall. “You may spend the next ten years and more thinking about me Barry, but this is the last time I’ll waste anymore of my life thinking about you.”

Oh, sometimes, I pray for you at night Oh, someday, maybe you'll see the light Oh, some say, in life you gonna get what you give But some things, only God can forgive

Not even waiting to see his response, Alex turned and stepped back behind the low wall to the benches where Nicolas waited for her. Managing a smile toward him, she took his offered hand and walked back outside, her spirits slowly lifting as they got back outside and into the sunlight. The wait for the bus was quiet, a light breeze blowing down the street and gently moving her hair over her shoulders. Reaching out to move it from her face, Alex leaned over and set her head on Nic’s shoulder, finally feeling free and more optimistic than she ever had in a long time.

I hope you're somewhere praying, praying I hope your soul is changing, changing I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, praying

Arriving back at Nicolas’ apartment, he kept his word, letting the two of them work on destroying and reconstructing a large brick of clay on a pedestal in his studio. While at first it had been more to blow off stress and repressed steam from the unavoidable court appointment, the longer she tore away and packed back on, shaped and reshaped again, Alex began to genuinely smile again. It was good to see that same smile that had first captivated him back on her face. The light shining in those bright blue eyes, hair falling around her face and over her shoulders as she moved and played with the clay.

Watching as she carefully moved some hair from falling in her eyes, he paused as she did the same for him, leaning slightly into her light touch despite the clay rubbing off her fingers. Staying still as she came forward, he let his eyes close as she pressed soft lips against his, hands settling on her hips and gripping lightly. Smiling back at her when she pulled back, he let her have some room, watching as she brought up her hands in the small space between them. [Can I stay with you tonight?]