Yesterday was somewhat depressing, because I just didn't feel like studying the entire evening (even though I attended all classes). After all the planning, my actions were still subject to my whims. I tried, but this particular subject was so pointless that I gave up. I slept 2 hrs in the evening, watched some stand-up comedy, had dinner, and went to sleep again (after a lot of trying). I do this when I feel I've wasted the day - I just crash on the bed and force myself to sleep, so that I can fast-forward to tomorrow and start anew. Thankfully, because of all that sleeping, I was able to wake up by 6 on my own. This was my chance to set things right - learn tirelessly the entire day so that I can sleep early. I've already suffered much by messing with my circadian clock.
So I'm going through the morning routine, trying to think of things to motivate myself, and this thought occurred to me - why shouldn't I embrace the exams? So far the compre fortnights have meant terror, stress and regret. But they've also been the times when I realized my superhuman strengths. Times when I've cried (2-1), picked myself up from the abyss of despondence and carried on with new vigour. Times which have given me a stronger sense of purpose and meaning to those dreams of what I hope to become. People indulge in all kinds of crazy, creative shit in these stressful times. Some sketch their rooms, some read a novel that had been lying dormant the entire semester, some become obsessive knowledge-seekers, scavenging every inch of Wikipedia and Quora, some plunge into deep philosophical questions... and some write. Come to think of it, exam-times have been the most active times every sem, throwing us out of our comfort zones, pushing us to the edge. And I have just 3 of them left. After that, when will I ever get to relive such a unique, collective shared experience? I remember my physics coaching sir saying this about JEE preparation, and now I know he was right.
You can either choose to whine and struggle, or take it head-on as a game. After all, life can become dull if not for the challenges it presents. In these challenges lie the seeds of personal growth, the fruits of which can be tasted only if we try to overcome them. Sooner or later, the river has to cut its way through the boulders if it wants to meet the sea.