"no one DARES go to erebor" "the dragon CANNOT be slain" "the GREATEST of CALAMITIES will ruin us ALL" and then the delivery guy does it. what are we even doing.
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"no one DARES go to erebor" "the dragon CANNOT be slain" "the GREATEST of CALAMITIES will ruin us ALL" and then the delivery guy does it. what are we even doing.

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Auteur : Chrysostome Gourio. Illustrations : Florent Sacré
I think we got slightly cheated by not getting to see more drunk elves. As far as I know, the only way we even know they can/do get drunk is The Hobbit. And admittedly, that was incorporated later into the rest of the legendarium and all the stuff to do with elves. And also, there's not a lot of reason why drunk elves would need to appear anywhere else in the narrative. But still, I can't imagine it's a super rare occurrence.
Like, if we're going to go ahead and canonize The Hobbit's confirmation that elves can and do get drunk, then you can't convince me some of them weren't getting more than a little inebriated back in the First and Second Ages. I want to know who gets drunk the most, and who avoids it. Who did something wild or unwise when they were absolutely wasted? Considering the dangers and threats of the time, do they steer away from impairing their senses and judgement, or do they drown their troubles in the strongest wine?
Also, since we're on this topic of elves and drunkenness, we have to address the (non canon) drinking contest in Peter Jackson's films. Because even though the event itself doesn't occur in canon, it's even more non-canonical that Legolas apparently is incapable of being affected other than the slightest sensation?? No way. Considering we know elves can indeed be affected, I think if we're going to canonize the drinking contest scene, we need to recognize that it doesn't show everything. Perhaps it omits mentioning that Legolas is actually used to much stronger stuff and thus has a high tolerance. Or maybe it omits showing that it just takes a little longer to kick in in an Elf's system, and it simply would have been in bad taste to show Legolas absolutely passed out on the floor a few minutes later, or worse, puking his guts out because he's not used to this non-elvish alcohol.
Of course, maybe the reason we don't see more drunk elves is because the things an elf says/does under the influence need to be censored out of the records. Sure, Tolkien can show Galion passed out in the cellar in a children's story - but the elves who kept the historical records might not have wanted to preserve every word of Fëanor when he cussed out Morgoth in a drunken rage. And it doesn't exactly serve the golden image of Finrod Felagund to bother with recording the time he fell off a table like Frodo Baggins at Barliman's inn. Or the time Aredhel drank her brother to shame and then proceeded to parade around his hidden city, proclaiming herself the king of Gondolin amid many ungraceful belches, whilst Turgon sobbed on the floor and had to be dragged to his chambers by Idril (who does not indulge in drunkenness out of fear of Maeglin - who becomes even more sketchy in behavior when inebriated).
But I'm not gonna lie - it might be fun to have a glimpse into the halls of Imladris after an especially indulgent festivity and see tipsy Erestor or Glorfindel or *gasp* Elrond! (he prob doesn't get drunk tbh - he's too wise. But in the event that he does, it was definitely influenced by Bilbo and likely results in his own long, wandering, teary tribute to Eärendil). Or give us peek into Lothlorien when Lord Celeborn's had one too many and is being a public embarrassment by the sloppy smooches he keeps trying to give his wife (who just rolls her eyes and shoves him off - it takes a lot more to get her drunk). And how about the raucous singing and dancing in Mirkwood when the wine's been flowing aplenty? The giddy songs about dwarves in barrels, and funny little Hobbits who sneak into the halls undetected, and about the king who can't keep them out.
Somebody somewhere is singing a never-ending ode to their horse and everybody's crying. Another elf thinks he's being subtle about who the lover in his ballads is, but it's actually obvious to everyone but his own drunk self. Someone else thinks they've come up with the most inspiring poem ever, but it's even stupider than the tra-la-la-lally song.
Idk, just a bunch of missed opportunities and potential!
Sherman Street, Galion, Ohio.
what do you think would actually happen is galion DID have to kill something? especially since he’s like No Thank You, won’t carry a weapon, and main strategy is “Run Away Fast While Screaming Like a Banshee”
When it comes to the actual physical part of doing the killing, Galion would at least be OKAY at it. He’d be hysterical the entire time probably, and even more so after, but both Oropher and Ferdan individually made sure that he was ‘good enough’ with a blade to defend himself if he ever really needed to. So like, he’d be hurting and probably bleeding quite a bit because he really would have to be in a Kill or Be Killed situation. The entire ordeal would look ridiculous as fuck, but he’d be able to accomplish the task.
Mentally………………………. Galion would be Deeply Unwell…… for a W H I L E
It would feel like the very very very last personal boundary he had in this world was ripped away from him, which would cause him to really deeply struggle with feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, and uselessness. It would reframe a lot of things about the world and about himself in a not very favorable light.
He would also probably have a Guilt Spiral for the record books, thinking about how all of his elflings have been killing things for practically their entire goddamn lives -- How are they handling this better than him? ARE they handling it better, or is it an act? Are they just so numb, and he did not notice? Should he be ashamed of being this troubled by it? Should he be troubled that the others don’t seem to be having a hard time? How does he get this feeling to go away? How can he have a good night sleep again? Are these the dreams Thranduil & Ferdan & the others have been waking with for decades? Are there’s somehow even worse than this? Is everyone he loves doing more and suffering more than he’s ever even tried to do on their behalf? Does this feeling ever go away? Can somebody rewind time so that he can just die instead and not have to know he took a life?
Does the blood ever wash off of his hands?
Can somebody hold him, for just a little while?

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Thranduil muttering under his breath: Remember: we are here to forge goodwill and diplomatic trust. No sarcasm. No chaos.
Galion straight-faced: So… lie.
Legolas grinning: Extensively.
Thranduil sighing: Why do I bring either of you?
Galion: You like flair and backup commentary.
Legolas: And I’m your little leaf. You wouldn't leave me!
Thranduil muttering: I won't hesitate to fire you.
Elrond: Thranduil! Welcome. Your reputation precedes you.
Thranduil bowing with just the right amount of smug: I do try to arrive at least ten minutes after it.
Galion under his breath: Usually with better posture than this.
Thranduil: Galion.
Legolas eyeing the decorative fruit platter on the table: Is that… pomegranate? I thought this was a formal occasion.
Galion sniffs a fig suspiciously: This looks like it fought back.
Thranduil through clenched teeth, smiling at the Elrond: Forgive my companions. They’ve never seen fruit arranged diplomatically.
Elrond slightly confused: It's a symbol of abundance.
Galion: Abundant bruising, perhaps.
Legolas: Shall I duel it, or just glare at it until it surrenders?
Thranduil glaring at both of them: If either of you so much as sneeze in the direction of that fruit, I will assign you both to border patrol. In the rain. Without cloaks.
Elrond smiling a little too politely: You certainly bring a… spirited entourage.
Galion: We prefer the term “charmingly inconvenient.”
Legolas: Or “elvishly unpredictable.”
Thranduil: I’m changing both your titles to “Perpetual Embarrassment.”
Galion: Sounds like a noble house.
Legolas: Can I be heir?
Thranduil turns to the Elrond: I’m terribly sorry. I promise, we are technically a functioning government.
Elrond laughing: On the contrary—this is the most entertaining diplomatic visit we’ve ever had.
Galion: See, my lord? We’re not chaotic.
Legolas: We’re just… impactful.
Ohh my gosh your Tolkien requests are open!!
Could you do Galion (that one Mirkwood Elf who got drunk and let the Dwarves escape)? I know that's pretty obscure but he's so silly.
My favorite drunk butler ngl
This was a great excuse to explore my Nandor/Silvan´s designs :)
You Slapping their Butt and Calling them “Dummy Thick” in Front of Everyone:
how would the elves react to this?
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Legolas, Meludir, feren, galion, elros version’s are below.