The front door clicked shut behind Morgan before his suitcase had even properly hit the floor. His house was quiet, the same way he’d left it 2 weeks ago before he went to America. He shrugged off his backpack, leaving it next to the door before pulling his phone out of his pocket.
Just got home
That all?
What do you want? A fucking parade? You told me to text when I got back
A grin spread across your face as you read the message. Your knack at rage baiting him as much as he does you has improved massively lately.
Rude
Come round?
He stared at the message for a second before pressing send, trying not to overthink how quickly he’d asked. Your reply came almost immediately.
Thought you were seeing your mum?
Tomorrow
I’ll be half an hour
Sound
“You’ve unpacked fuck all then.” You laughed as Morgan opened the front door, suitcase still abandoned in the hallway exactly where he’d dropped it.
“I’ve literally been in like 10 fucking minutes.” He stepped aside, letting you in before closing the door behind you.
“And you’ve still done fuck all.”
“I’ve had a shower.”
“Well done.”
He rolled his eyes dramatically.
“You’re proper annoying, you.”
You smiled to yourself as you slipped your trainers off.
“You missed me.”
“Don’t push it.”
You smiled to yourself, lingering awkwardly by the kitchen doorway as he wandered over to the worktop.
“Brew?” He looked up, reaching for the kettle. You nodded, taking a seat at one of the stools at the kitchen island, just watching him.
“Oh, I got you them things you wanted.” He reached into one of the carrier bags he’d dumped on the side and pulled up a purple tub. “Them…lemme fucking whatever shit, I dunno what they are.” He shrugs, sliding the container across the countertop and over to you.
“Oh thanks, I’ll send the money over.”
He scoffed, shaking his head. “Doesn’t matter about the money, I can’t remember how much they were.”
“Oh and there’s some other stuff…in there.” He says, not even looking up as he pretends to scroll on his phone. He puts the bag in front of you and turns around to make your cup of tea, his whole body awkward.
“What?” You look at him confused, before peaking inside the bag. You pull out a baby pink New York yankees cap, looking at it for a few seconds before looking up at Morgan again. He still wasn’t looking at you, too ‘engrossed’ in his phone.
“These are for me?” You say quietly, looking at each item.
A New York yankees cap, an England shirt (curtesy of JD) and a vintage style hoodie - the same as one he owns himself just in a smaller size.
“You like ‘em?” He finally turns around, acting as nonchalant about it as possible.
“Yeah, yeah I love them. Thank you. You didn’t have to-“
“Coming upstairs?” He picked up your mugs of tea before listening to what you had to say, heading off in the direction of his bedroom.
“What was your favourite bit?” You asked, you head on his chest as the TV hummed in the background. You laid naked on him, recovering from the most intense reunion sex you could imagine.
“New York?”
You nodded.
“The football.”
“I knew you’d say that.”
“Why’d you ask then?” He laughed, his hand wrapping your hair around his fingers fondly.
“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes, same old Morgan.
“You’d have proper loved it you know?”
“I know, you’ve said.”
“Times Square at night..” He shook his head, a smile on his face. “Fucking mental.”
You smiled.
“Yeah, looked incredible.”
A small silence settled between you.
Then, almost absent-mindedly, he said,
“I’ll take you one day.”
“You’ll what?”
He froze for half a second.
“Just… if we ever end up over there again.”
“Just us?”
He looked away.
“Yeah.”
It was nearly one in the morning when you realised neither of you had moved.
“You staying?” Morgan asked.
You looked over.
“I thought that’s why you asked me round.”
“Yeah, yeah I did. Just checking that’s all.”
You nod, lying back down on his chest. Your eyes watched the tv for a little bit, some film Morgan had chosen that you’d “love” filled the screen. You’d been too distracted to watch anyway. It wasn’t long before your eyes began to flutter shut.
The room was still dark when you stirred.
For a second, you couldn’t work out why you were so warm until you felt the weight of an arm thrown lazily across your waist.
He was still dead to the world beside you, face half buried in his pillow, one leg tangled with yours. The jet lag had clearly caught up with him. You smiled to yourself before carefully lifting his arm away, trying not to wake him.
He only mumbled something completely incoherent and rolled onto his stomach. You pulled one of his T-shirts over your head before padding quietly downstairs. It had become an unspoken routine. If you woke first, you made the tea.
The house was silent as you filled the kettle, flicking it on before opening the cupboard. You didn’t even have to think anymore. You leant against the worktop while the kettle boiled, scrolling absent-mindedly through your phone. Until your head snapped up the sound of the front door.
“Morgan?” a woman’s voice called. “You awake?”
You had no idea who it was at first. Your stomach tightened. A few seconds later, she appeared in the kitchen doorway. The second she saw you, she stopped. For a moment, neither of you spoke. You suddenly felt too vulnerable just in Morgan’s t shirt.
You stood there barefoot, two mugs lined up beside the kettle. She looked between you, the mugs and then towards the stairs.
“Oh!” she laughed softly, more surprised than anything. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone.”
Heat rushed to your cheeks.
“I’m so sorry,” you said quickly. “I didn’t know anyone was coming.”
“No, don’t apologise.” She smiled warmly, holding a hand up. “I’m the one who’s just let herself in.”
The kindness in her voice settled your nerves almost instantly.
“I’m…” You hesitated, suddenly realising you had absolutely no idea how to introduce yourself. “I’m…”
She smiled.
“It’s alright, love. I’m Morgan’s mum, Michelle.”
“Reader.”
Michelle glanced upstairs before looking back at you with an amused smile.
“I’m guessing Morgan’s still asleep?”
You let out a small laugh.
“Yeah. Jet lag.”
She rolled her eyes affectionately.
“Thought as much. I was meant to be coming tomorrow, but I finished what I was doing early and thought I’d bring him a few bits.”
She lifted the shopping bag slightly before looking back at you. Almost on cue, heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs.
“Mhm… you’re taking ages love.” Morgan’s sleepy voice called, still thick with sleep as he walked through to the kitchen to see exactly what was taking you so long. You winced as you figured he had no idea what had happened.
He wandered into the kitchen, rubbing a hand over his face and then he stopped dead.
His eyes landed on you. Then on his mum. Then back to you.
“…Mum?”
Michelle turned towards him, completely calm.
“Morning.”
Morgan looked like he’d forgotten how to speak.
“What… what are you doing here?”
“I came to bring you a few things.” She lifted the shopping bag. “I was going to come tomorrow, but I finished early.”
His eyes flicked back to you.
You gave him the smallest, almost apologetic shrug.
He ran a hand through his already messy hair, as Michelle beamed at him. How the fuck was he going to explain this?
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You’d been tossing and turning for what felt like hours now. The heat in Manchester was no joke and the box bedroom of your uni flat did nothing to help matters. That and the fact that you’d had, quite frankly, the worst day on earth today.
It started with a phone call from your mum regarding your youngest brother, George. He’d always been the whirlwind of the family and it meant that you got on with him the most. Being his older sister, you felt protective of him. Like you knew him the way no one else did.
But that didn’t stop your panic and disappointment when your mum rang to tell you she hadn’t actually seen him for a few days. You worried for George. You had an idea of what he was getting up to with his mates in his spare time and just the thought made you cringe with worry. You’d tell him often how his behaviour would keep you up at night. It was weird, considering he was 4 years younger than you, he always told you to stop worrying. Always being there to calm you down when you were scared for him.
So when the text came from Morgan asking to pick you up, you were delighted to see someone for a few hours. By 1am, he’d pulled up outside of your flat and you got into his car.
“Alright love?” He smiled.
“Hi, where we going?” You looked at him, confused when he didn’t drive in the direction of his house for once. You knew he’d been streaming at the Bov house tonight and since he’d picked you up, it usually meant the two of you would spend the night at his old house.
“Thought I’d just drive around a bit, you hungry? Could get a maccies?” He looked over at you, instantly recognising you looked different. The hood of your hoodie didn’t hide the fact that you’d clearly been crying. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Maccies sounds good.” You said quietly, looking away from Morgan and out of your own passenger window. His gaze switched between the road and you as he observed your distant behaviour. A stark contrast to your usual, bubbly self.
“Alright.” He nodded, deciding not to push.
You’d told him before about your family issues. It all came out after a night out. The two of you were in an uber home when you’d burst out crying and told him everything. He listened to every word, stroking your thigh comfortingly as he nodded along with everything you said. You’d regretted every second when you realised it only attracted you to him more.
He parked up in a more secluded area than the McDonald’s car park. Turning off the engine as the two of you took spoonfuls of McFlurrys. You weren’t even sure why you’d agreed to this, you’d hardly spoken a word to Morgan since you got in the car. You were absolutely sure that he’d never speak to you again once he’d dropped you back home.
“Come on then, what’s up?” He broke the silence.
“Nothing-“
“Don’t give me that. Tell me, you can tell me. It helps to talk you know.”
You sighed, eyes filling up with tears again as your mind circled back to your biggest worry.
“Is it George?” He looked at you. Your heart could’ve stopped when he said his name. To be honest the night you told him about your brother, you weren’t entirely sure that he was listening at all. You’d convinced yourself he was waiting for your sob story to end so he could get you into bed. But clearly not.
You nodded, a tear falling from your cheek as you sighed again.
“I dunno where he is.” You looked down at your phone, longing for a text from him to say he was ok.
Morgan shook his head, his expression stoic as he turned his body to face you.
“When did you last hear from him?”
“Last week. He rang to say he wanted to catch up, I was busy though. I was at uni. I couldn’t speak to him.”
“Fuck-“ He whispered. “I-I dunno what to say. Have you tried any of his mates?”
“They’re all fucking idiots. They won’t tell me anything. I-I know he’ll be back, it’s just a matter of when.”
The silence fell heavy in the car. You played awkwardly with the strings of your hoodie. Desperate for him to say something to break the tense air.
“Come ‘ere.” Morgan held out his arms, waiting for you to climb into them. And you did, you sat in his lap with your head on his chest as you fiddled with his hands, your nervous system settling slightly with the distraction.
Of course, with it being the two of you. He made you feel better the best way he knows how.
He pulled you down onto his cock as he looked straight into your eyes, watching as yours shut with the pleasure.
“Oh my god Morgan-“ you whispered. Moving slowly back and forth as you held onto his shoulders for support.
“Go on love, forget about everything. Wanna make you feel good.” His hands held your hips, letting you set the pace for once. The whole thing was slow and focused around you. Around making you feel better, making you forget all your problems and just focus on him for a bit.
Your hips never stopped until you felt yourself clenching around him. Chasing his own high, in one harsh thrust upwards he finished there and then, watching as you fell apart on top of him. You back flat against the steering wheel as your head fell backwards.
“Fucking hell love-“ His breathing quick as you lifted yourself off him, feeling his release drip down your legs. You shivered when he used his fingers to scoop it up and press it back inside of your hole.
“Morgan-“ You jolted, your body sensitive.
“Sorry.” He took a deep breath, looking up at you. His hands splayed across your thighs. He smiled when he saw your own smile for the first time all night. “There she is.”
“Stop it.” You laughed, hiding your face in his neck as your cheeks turned pink.
“Come on, I’ll take you home.”
Your smile faltered slightly, disappointment etched across your face as you were brought quickly back down to earth. You nodded, moving back into the passenger seat and not saying a word again. He could see the upset on your face. It killed him every time. Every time he had to remind himself that this was right. He couldn’t fully commit to you, his career was at its peak, it would be stupid to bring a girl into the mix now.
When he pulled up outside of your flat once more, you’d never moved quicker to unplug your seatbelt and get out of the car.
“Woah, slow down.” He put his hand over your own at the door handle. “What’s up?”
“Nothing, Morgan. I have to be up for uni early, I have to go.” Truth is you didn’t even have uni tomorrow and he knew that, but he wasn’t about to admit that he knew your weekly schedule.
His phone pinged and the screen of his car lit up with the notification. Your eyes quickly darted to the screen. A text message. From…Lara. Who the fuck is Lara?
Your eyes practically burned as your stomach flipped. You couldn’t deal with this right now. He watched your reaction, his brows knotted together.
“She’s the Bov manager.” He looked at you, anticipating the millions of questions that he knew you were asking in your head.
“I didn’t ask.”
“You were thinking it.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway.”
“Does it not?”
“No.”
He sighed again. It was always the same. The two of you would have the best nights, so intimate and connected. You’d talk about anything and everything. He didn’t have to perform in front of you like he did with most people. Didn’t have to be in the best mood. He could be himself and you loved every second you spent with him.
But then something would send reality to you both and you’d end up arguing. It was toxic. You both knew it was.
“Why do you have to be like that?” He looked at you, offended with your nonchalance.
“Like what?” You shrugged.
“Like you don’t care.”
“What?” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you at his accusation. You couldn’t care more!
“You heard what I said.”
“Sorry that I don’t care about your manager, Morgan.”
He laughed now. Shaking his head at your immaturity.
“That’s not what I meant, you know it’s not.”
“What do you mean then?”
“Forget about it. Let me know you’re in safe.” He unlocked the doors of his car, a hand running through his hair in an attempt to relieve his stress.
In your current mental state, you couldn’t cope with the argument right now. Usually you’d stay and battle it out with him until he drove you back to his and fucked the anger out of you. But not tonight.
You looked at him, not saying a word before slamming the car door on him and heading inside your flat.
Your eyes widened when you saw the light of the TV in the living room. The volume low as you gently closed the door and scurried to your room, not wanting an interrogation from your mates right now.
“Reader?”
Fuck. You closed your eyes in panic, shouting back to Emily as she sat on the sofa, not bothering to get up but looking at you as you popped your head around the door.
“Yeah?”
“Where’ve you been?” She laughed, smiling at your unknown disheveled state.
“Oh, just to maccies, with a mate.”
“Right…nice car.” She winked, smirking as you groaned and walked off not wanting the confrontation right now. It was no secret that Morgan drove, in your opinion, the sexiest Mercedes you’d ever seen. You were absolutely fucked if Heather found out about this.
“You kissed Ginge last night!” Heather laughed, completely in shock. You and the other 4 girls you live with (Heather included) often have a debrief the morning after a night out. Truth is you’re usually not really at the centre of the conversation. Until today.
“What?” You looked at her, face showing no expression at all despite the way your heart was pounding.
“You did, you kissed him! Mikey said.”
“For fucks sake.” You rolled your eyes, pulling your hood up on your hoodie and sinking into your bed where everyone was sat talking.
“We’ve all been there babes. Don’t worry. Besides he’s fit.” One of the girls shrugged as if it was no big deal at all.
Thankfully, that was the end of it. You couldn’t believe how stupid Morgan had been last night. He’d quite literally in his drunken state pulled you to one side in the club and acted anything but “friendly”.
They know
What?
Heather remembered that we kissed last night
And? What did she say?
Nothing, thank god. I can’t believe you did that, you’re a fucking idiot.
Weren’t saying that last night love
You’d practically had to shove him out of your bedroom last night. And not because you wanted to, but because Heather was literally in the room next door with Mikey and you’d never hear the end of it if she found out you were sleeping with her boyfriends best mate.
Little did she know it was her that introduced the two of you to each other. One night out was all it took for Morgan to take you back to his on the sly. You’d convinced yourself it was just one fun night, nothing else. But one fun night turned into two, three and eventually you were going over to his completely sober for the night. But still, it was only casual. You’d convinced yourself it was better that way. Who’d want a famous boyfriend anyway?
The music boomed through the walls of the club. It was 1 am already and you and your housemates had been out all night, like usual on a Saturday night in Manchester. The place was packed, not that anyone had noticed given how drunk all of you were.
“There’s Morgan!” Heather pointed to him from across the nightclub. He walked in like he owned the place. Being escorted to a booth in the corner of the room, his friends following closely behind him. Your head instantly turned in the direction of Heather’s finger and landed on his gaze which was already looking at you. You could’ve sworn that he winked before looking away again and speaking to one of his friends. You rolled your eyes, turning back to the girls and trying to forget he was there.
The whole thing was frustrating and in your eyes a complete waste of time. He was pulling you in closer and closer but you knew you’d never be more than a secret to him. Someone he can text in the middle of the night, someone he knows will come running at his beck and call. It was embarrassing really and every time you told yourself you’d stop. But of course, he had a way with words. A way of making you feel special for the night. The whole thing was addictive.
“Reader? Hello?” Heather laughs, waving her hand infront of your face. You looked up at her and forced a giggle from your mouth. “There you are. You were daydreaming.”
“Yeah, sorry-“
“I’m gonna say hello to Morgan, you coming?” She held her hand out to take yours.
Your head instantly began to say no until she was already pulling you towards him. Your cheeks grew hotter with embarrassment at his smirk when he saw you waltzing over to him. This whole dynamic personified your situationship. He sat back relaxed, you came running.
After a lifetime of awkward introductions between you, Heather and Ginge’s friends. You watched as Heather mingled amongst the group, they’d recognised her instantly as Mikey’s girlfriend and she fell easily into conversation. You took a deep breath, standing up and walking over to the bar for another drink. You felt yourself rapidly sobering and there was no way you were surviving this without at least one more tequila pineapple.
“Alright love? You’re quiet.”
You knew exactly who it was the second you felt a near enough 6”2 frame tower over you from behind. It didn’t take a genius to recognise the accent either.
“You shouldn’t be talking to me here.”
“Why not?”
You shrugged. You weren’t about to admit you had a problem with this whole thing being a secret, as much as it did bother you.
“You look nice.”
You looked to the side where he stood beside you at the bar now, waiting to be served. You watched as his gaze dipped, looking you up then down.
“Thanks.” You hung your head down as you felt your cheeks blush for the second time that night.
“Too nice.” He smirked.
“What does that mean?”
“Means I don’t want any other blokes in here looking at you in that dress.”
“I’m not your property, Morgan.”
“You always say you are when I’m fucking yo-“
You gasped and hit his arm playfully, watching as he laughed at the whole thing.
“Sorry love, sorry. I’ll be a gentleman now, I promise.”
“You? A gentleman?” You laughed.
“Oi, I can be a gentleman! I can be proper romantic when I want to be.” He shrugs as you’ve got him all wrong. “I’ll show you tonight, if you want. At mine.”
As if he didn’t even need you to confirm, he’d walked off, carrying a round of drinks for the table with him and leaving yours on the side for you. You sighed as you walked back over to the group.
“Reader, guess what?!” Heather grabbed your arm, pulling you to the side, away from Morgan and his mates for a second.
“What?” You couldn’t match her excitement. You were over this now, in the mood to go home (or to Morgan’s 😉).
“You see that lad, second one in. He’s sat next to Ginge now.” She looked over your shoulder as you turned to see who she was talking about. “He thinks you’re fit. You have to talk to him.”
“What? Heather, I’m not-“
“Go! Please, go and talk to him. He’s dead nice. Come on, it’s been ages since you’ve been with anyone. Tonight could be your night.” She laughs.
Your heart races. You’d been telling Heather that you were having a break from boys ever since you and Morgan started sleeping together. It was easier that way.
“He’s not that good looking.” You shrugged, playing with the straw in your glass awkwardly.
“What?” She laughed. “Are we talking about the same person?”
“Well, maybe I just don’t fancy him.”
“Jesus, Reader. Just go and say hi.” She pushed you back towards the table and your heels clattered against the floor as you awkwardly shuffled towards the table, shooting a daggering look back at Heather. She owes you big time after this.
“Alright love?” Morgan’s friends eyes practically lit up when you sat next to him. His voice must’ve caught Morgan’s attention considering he was now looking at you as well.
“Hi.” You smiled, looking towards his friend and then at Morgan who’s face looked puzzled. “I’m Reader, what’s your name?”
“Josh. You’re Heather’s mate, yeah?”
“Yeah and you’re Morgan’s friend?” You nodded towards him.
“Yeah, yeah. He’s my mate.” Morgan spoke up instantly, his face like thunder as he stared through you.
You nodded. Looking at Morgan before smirking. It wasn’t very often that Morgan looked so angry at you, perhaps a conversation with his friend might just remind him what he has infront of him.
“Can your friend not speak for himself?” You stifled a laugh as you spoke sarcastically at him.
“She’s feisty, I like her.” Josh laughed, putting his arm around you. The whole time your eyes never left Morgan’s face.
It was only later when you were sat back with Heather that you realised you’d properly rattled him. He was saying his goodbyes to the group when he whispered into your ear about meeting him outside in 5 minutes, the whole thing disguised as a hug.
Of course, you made your own pretend escape and left 5 minutes later. Meeting him in an uber outside of the club.
“What the fuck was that?”
“What was what?”
“Don’t act fucking stupid.”
“I dunno what you’re talking about.”
“You think it’s funny fucking talking to my mates?”
“What’s your problem?”
“He’s my fucking best mate?”
“So?! Heather told me to speak to him.”
“So? What do you flirt with every lad you’re told to?”
“No.”
“Seems like it.”
“Are you calling me a slag?”
“I didn’t say that.”
You sat in silence for a few minutes. You felt him disconnecting and your mind instantly went in that grovelling state.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you mad.”
He sighed, looking at you.
“I’m not mad, just- can’t handle watching you with other people infront of me. It’s disrespectful.”
You nodded. Disrespectful. Not because he liked you and wanted to be with you. Oh no. Because it was disrespectful towards him.
You weren’t about to argue it now though. You told yourself you’d deal with it another time or not at all honestly.
“Come on.” He clicked off his seatbelt as the uber pulled up to his house. He’d practically slammed the door behind him as he walked up to the front door.
It was mere minutes before he had you smushed up against it. Pinned between the wood and his body as his lips moved desperately across yours.
“Don’t fucking speak to him again.” He had your legs spread on his bed as he thrusted his hips rapidly back and forth into you. He’d practically ripped your dress off before pushing straight inside of you.
“Oh fuck- fuck, Morgan!”
“Say it. Say you won’t do that again.”
He hadn’t stopped talking about Josh since the second he’d slipped inside of you. Every time he looked at your face he pictured how you looked at his best mate. Just the thought made him shudder.
“I-I won’t! I won’t do it again. I promise. I’m sorry!”
It was quick, desperate and ended with you wrapped up in his arms asleep all night. Even as you moved in the night, his arms still pulled you closer into him, almost instinctively.
A whirlwind of emotions, these two don’t have a fucking clue what they want
You’d heard nothing from Morgan for about 3 days. Pretty standard behaviour from him. He threw himself into work after the argument you’d had and pretended to forget all about you for a bit. Even he knew you’d be back though. You always go back to him.
Emily didn’t press anymore after that night. You told her about your recurring struggle with George and how much it was effecting you lately, she didn’t think it was right to take the piss about Morgan just yet.
George stumbled home about 4 days after his disappearance. You’d never felt relief wash over your body quicker than that phone call with your dad to tell you he was back. You made a mental note to book a train ticket home this weekend to see him.
“Mikey’s having a house party tonight, he asked if we want to go?” Heather walked into the living room. The open plan space meant that every one of your flatmates were together, including you. You’d snuggled up on the sofa in your hoodie as you watched the girls potter around.
“Yes, obviously!” Emily’s reaction was followed by the other girls who nodded in agreement. You said nothing, your heart rate instantly spiking at the possibility of seeing Morgan after the other night.
“Reader? You coming?” Heather looked over at you. She’d understand, given the circumstances of your week worrying about George, if you’d decide not to go.
“I dunno.” You shrugged, pretending to scroll on your phone to avoid the pairs of eyes now looking at you.
“Come on, it might be good for you.” Heather sat on the edge of the sofa infront of you, looking supportively at you with an encouraging smile. “We’ll leave if you don’t want to stay. All of us.”
You thought about it for a second before taking a deep breath.
“Alright…”
“Yay! Come on, we have to get ready.”
The party was packed, full of random men who you presumed were also streamers. The idea was that stream would end soon after you girls had arrived. The boys had been drinking for a few hours already by now.
Everywhere you looked you waited to see him. Practically holding your breath at the thought of him appearing from no where. But he didn’t. After half an hour of expecting him, you had a thought that maybe he wasn’t here at all.
Already on your third drink of the night, you’d took to the party well. Deciding to let your hair down for once without his eyes on you or worrying about family issues. It felt nice to do something for yourself for once.
“We’ve got buzz balls or there’s some vodka and mixers, whatever you fancy?” One of Mikey’s friends had offered to grab you a drink from the kitchen.
“Can I have a buzz ball please?”
He’d thrown it over to you as you caught it in two hands and smiled. Eyebrows raising as a loud cheer filled your ears from the next room.
“What’s happening in there?” You looked over at Mikey’s friend with a slight laugh.
“Ah they’re playing games or something, I dunno.” He laughed along with you, leading the way into the room.
You could’ve sworn time stopped when you walked in.
“Mate, I thought you weren’t coming? Don’t you have a shoot early tomorrow.”
“Ah mate, couldn’t miss your party could I?” He spoke looking directly at you, smirking as he did so. You’d never felt more stupid for suggesting that Morgan wasn’t going to show up. Your chest heaved as you looked meekly at him. He walked over to you, infront of everyone. Your anxiety peaking as he got closer. Until he brushed past you and walked into the kitchen.
“Sorry love.” He spoke quietly as he went past, his arm knocking into yours.
You’d never wanted to leave faster. Seeing him bringing back every feeling you feel towards him. Your slightly altered mental state making you pine for him even more, only to remind yourself it would never be how you wanted it to be.
You gave yourself half an hour. Half an hour of pretending to enjoy yourself, that was it. You danced with the girls, laughed at the boys jokes and eventually booked yourself an uber home. You hadn’t spoken to him all night, actually he’d hardly even looked at you at all, which of course only upset you further.
When you did arrive back home, you’d took a deep breath as soon as the door shut. The apartment quiet with the girls being at the party. You presumed they’d stay the night there instead of travelling all the way back to Deansgate.
You threw on some of the comfiest pajamas you own, not even bothering to take off your makeup (which you knew you’d regret in the morning). You’d felt tipsy in the uber but the effects of your drink was starting to ware off in the quiet of your apartment.
You didn’t even realise you were drifting off on the sofa until you heard a knock on the door. You braced yourself for the drunk state of the girls that was evidently about to follow.
“There you are…I’ve been ringing you.” Morgan stood there, his hand clutched onto his chest as he breathes heavily, as if he’s out of breath. “You didn’t answer the phone.”
You were practically stunned. Your half asleep haze still there as you tried to make sense of what on earth was going on.
He laughed. “You’re still half asleep love, can I come in?”
You looked at him, considering your options. Evidently you knew you’d let him in but you pretended to think about it first before nodding and closing the door behind him.
“Listen, I’m dead sorry for the other night. I was a bit of a prick and-“
“It’s ok.”
“No, it’s not ok. I shouldn’t have said you don’t care. I know you care.”
Too much. You thought, thankful that the words didn’t leave your mouth.
“I shouldn’t have cared who was texting you.”
He sighed after that. Looking around the apartment and smiling.
“What?” You followed his gaze.
“It’s nice in here, nicer than the Bov house. Properly homely.”
You nodded. You and the girls had spend ages looking around Homesense to bring the apartment together. The place was filled with little trinkets and photographs.
You watched as Morgan looked at a collection of photos stuck onto the fridge with magnets.
“Who’s that?” He picked one of them up, holding it up to you. He knew exactly who it was but decided to play dumb instead.
“Me and George.” You smiled, looking at the photo. The two of you in football jerseys, excitedly smiling at the camera infront of you.
“Have you heard from him yet?”
“He’s home.” You nodded, a smile on your face. “I’m gonna go and see him this weekend-“
“You’re going back?” Morgan quickly responded, his eyes darting your way so fast it made you jump.
“Yeah…yeah, just for a bit.”
“Right.” He nodded, forcing himself to calm down. He didn’t want you to go, he had a couple of work-free this weekend and in his mind had planned to have you over at his.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did you just make me jump out of my skin?”
“Sorry.” He laughed, avoiding the question all together. He placed the photograph back onto the fridge before turning to you. Moving closer to you until you were trapped between the kitchen island and himself.
“You look gorgeous.” He pushed your hair behind your ear, looking down at your smaller frame.
“No I don’t.” You laughed, your t shirt reached your mid thighs and your hair must’ve looked like you’d been dragged through a bush.
“You do.” He smiled down at you, two big hands on either side of your face as he lifted your jaw up to kiss you. “Always so gorgeous.” His lips had practically attacked yours, desperately fighting his tongue into your mouth.
Within minutes, he had you lifted onto the island as you giggled. “Morgan-m-Morgan..the girls, they’ll be back soon.” You tried to get his attention as he kissed down your neck, sucking and biting at the skin.
“They’re staying over there. Stop talking.” He murmured. “Come here.”
He was like a man possessed, a man starved as he lifted you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he practically threw you on the sofa.
“God, look at you.” He stood over you, his eyes all over you. Your t shirt had lifted up slightly with the force of him throwing you down, not that he minded.
He still wasn’t happy though. Contorting your body until you were stood infront of him, your back flush against his chest as he pulled off your t shirt, revealing your bare chest.
“Morgan!” You gasped as his fingers pinched around your nipples, his other hand buried in your knickers as he rubbed over your clit in slow circles. He had you so close to him all you could hear was his breath heavy in your ear.
“Fucking so wet, love.” You were a vessel of moans and gasps as his fingers worked with precision over you.
“Oh my god-.” You whimpered, your eyes fluttered closed as the pressure built up in your lower stomach. In mere minutes he had you weak. “I’m gonna cum!”
His fingers only moved faster, putting even more pressure on your clit as he smirked down at you. His hand snuck up around your throat to hold you close to him as your legs began to shake. “Morgan- fuck!”
Your body instinctively pushed back against him, your head flying back against his chest as he whispered into your ear about how good you were. His hand still gripped at your throat.
“Good girl.” He kissed your ear, fingers still rubbing slow circles on your clit as he helped you down from your high. Your breathing slowly returning back to normal. You laughed when you turned around, the biggest grin on Morgan’s face as he looked down at you.
You fiddled with the bottom of his T-shirt with a smirk, tugging at it until he understood what it is that you wanted. Pulling it over his head, the next time he looked at you you were positioned on your knees infront of him, already pulling at his joggers and boxers.
With two hands, you pulled both of them down until he did the rest for you, leaving him stood completely naked and completely hard infront of you. His hand moved first, looking directly into your eyes as he wrapped his fist around his hard length, tugging a few times just at the sight of you.
You couldn’t help your tongue licking over the very tip of his cock as you looked up at him. Before wrapping your lips around the head, all whilst he used his hand on the base.
“You’re something else y’know. Fucking hell.”
You pull his hand away from him and instantly he places it in your hair, tugging your head back slightly so he can look at your face as your lips sink down on his length.
5 minutes later your lips and chin were practically covered in your own saliva. His hands scrape your hair away from your face into a ponytail as he pushes his hips closer to your face, making you gag as his tip hits the back of your throat.
“Fuck-“ He quickly pulled your mouth off him, smirking as he did so. He didn’t want to cum before fucking you. “Let’s see you.” He pulled your face upwards until you were looking at him. He took in the sight of you. Mascara smudged, lips slight swollen and pink. “Too much?” You shook your head.
“No.” You spoke softly, the back of your throat coarse now. He had a tendency of getting carried away when you had your mouth around him, to you it was the hottest thing ever.
“Good.” He smiled, leaning down to gently kiss your lips.
He spent the rest of the night being not so gentle, literally fucking you on every surface he could see until you were screaming his name.
“Morgan! Fuck, Morgan! Oh my- I’m gonna cum!” He had you bent over the kitchen island, your hair in his hand as he drilled into you from behind. You were a mess, you’d already finished twice on his cock and it wouldn’t be long before you’d topple over the edge again.
“Hang on.” He grunted, his hips moving at speed as he grabbed one of your tits, squeezing at the flesh. “Fuck-“ he whispered under his breath, his own eyes closing in pleasure as the sound of your skin slapping together and your screams filled his ears. As soon as he was on the edge himself, his hand reached down towards your clit rubbing quick, circular motions. “Go on, cum for me love.”
With a particularly loud scream, your orgasm washed over you in seconds, your legs practically shaking from under you as you felt him fill you up. His breath hot on your ear as he hissed and groaned. You felt a stray tear roll down your cheek with the pleasure as you both came down from your highs. Your hands gripped the side of the counter as you focused on your breathing, whimpers still coming from your mouth at the feeling of him inside of you.
You hissed when he pulled out. Instantly soothed by the feeling of his arms wrapping around you.
“Shush, I’m sorry.” He kissed your neck then your shoulder, trying to provide some comfort after being so rough, not that you minded. “You okay?” He was practically holding you up by now, you were convinced your legs didn’t work anymore.
You nodded regardless. This was the side of him you couldn’t get enough of. The caring side, the side to him that constantly checked you were ok and looked after you.
It was when he pulled out that your eyes widened. The feeling of his cum trickling down your legs alarming you.
“What’s wrong?” He kissed your cheek, his arms still wrapped around your front.
“You didn’t use a condom, Morgan.” You turned your head to look at him. You’d talk about this before, you’d been on the pill for years now using it mostly as an aid for your horrendous period pains you’d get every month. He knew this, of course, but you’d both decided it was best to be safe and use a condom. Particularly considering most of your hook ups in the beginning weren’t planned.
He actually laughed at first, not worried in the slightest at the knowledge you were still protected from having a baby.
“Yeah, sorry love.” He smirked. “Got a bit carried away.”
The smile on his face faltered when he saw the look of anger in your eyes. You pulled away from him, picking up your pajama t shirt and throwing it on.
“Woah. What’s up?” He looked at you, your face the picture of thunder.
“Nothing.” You were quick to head into your bedroom, quickly slamming the door behind you but Morgan got there too quick.
“Oi, talk to me. What’s wrong? Have you forgot your pill or something?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
There’s a silence in the room that neither of you want to break. You know how this goes, you’ll argue, he’ll leave. Same old.
“What is it? Are you sleeping with other people or something?” He asks boldly actually laughing at the possibility. Until you don’t reply.
He looks straight at you with a face that you can’t quite work out. You don’t say anything, letting him sweat for a bit might be good for him.
“Reader?!” He snaps. “Don’t ignore me, are you sleeping with someone else?”
You just look at him.
“Who?”
“What’s it to do with you?”
“Just tell me the truth, who the fuck is he?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“That’s not fair.”
You shrug, but your smile gives you away. He knows instantly that you’re bluffing and it makes him laugh. Of course you’d never do that to him. You’re too kind, too good to do anything of that sort to him. He grabs your ankles, pulling them apart until he can slot himself between your legs.
“Don’t fucking do that.” He smirks.
“Do what?” You laugh.
“Lie to me.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“You’re bold asking me anyway, you’re the one that can’t commit.”
He sighs, his forehead resting on your stomach as he lays flat on his front, right in between your legs
“Don’t do this.”
“I’m not doing anything, I’m just saying the truth.”
“You say it like it’s because I like being with other people or something. You know that’s not true.”
“Do I?”
“You know I’m all for you. I just can’t right now.” He hates when it gets like this, when everything gets complicated. He knows how it ends and it’s usually with him, rightly, being told to leave.
Except this time you’re not even sure you have the energy to argue with him, you just nod. Running a hand through his hair as he lays there.
“I’m sorry.” He says quietly, kissing your stomach.
You still don’t say anything. Not having anything to say at all to him.
“I’m off to America next week, for the World Cup with the boys.” He speaks as though he doesn’t really want it to be true. Obviously he’s buzzing for the trip, it’s the opportunity of a lifetime for him but part of him doesn’t want to leave her and that terrifies him.
“That’ll be nice.” You say quietly, hiding the disappointment in your voice. “How long for?”
“3 weeks…”
You nod. You weren’t expecting that at all.
“We have the chance to extend for a bit if it goes well. We don’t know for sure yet though.” He doesn’t even look at you as he talks, as if seeing your face might stop him from going all together.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll have fun.”
“Yeah, I guess we will.”
There’s something unspoken between the two of you, you’re both gutted at the idea of him leaving but neither of you are brave enough to say it. Instead it remains unspoken as the two of you drift off to sleep together.
Thankfully, Michelle left quickly after she put the shopping bags down on the counter. He was so grateful for his mum but her timing couldn’t have been more off this morning. He was never going to hear the end of this.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise she was coming.” He closes the front door, turning back to you. You stood in the kitchen, still nervous and playing with your hands. You could see how panicked he was, how quick he was for her to leave, you weren’t that bad surely?
“It’s alright.” You say quietly, turning back to the mugs of tea infront of you, your back to him.
He stood still, just observing you. Trying to work out if you’re upset or just tired, like you usually say. You pour milk in both mugs, putting one sugar in for Morgan and leaving yours without. Before picking up your own drink and walking back upstairs without a word.
In your absence, Morgan sighs, his eyes closing for a second. What had he done now?
“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong or do I have to guess?” He blurts out as soon as he walks into his bedroom, watching as you throw your things into a bag.
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah, you seem it.” He scoffs.
“Ok then, I’m done.” You blurt out, not even looking up at him. “I’m going home.”
“Done?- what are you going on about?” He almost wants to laugh, as if it’ll stop you from hurriedly packing your things. He realises there’s a bit more to it when you don’t respond. “You can’t just leave without saying why, you owe me more than that surely.”
“Actually Morgan, I owe you nothing.” You shake your head, picking up your hoodie and throwing it over your head. Morgan’s eyes widen as if he can’t actually believe what’s happening. Things had changed fast.
“So that’s it? This is finished?”
“This?! What the fuck even is this?! It’s not a real thing.”
“Right.” He forces himself to laugh, as if your words didn’t just feel like a punch to his face.
You just looked at him wide eyed as he laughed, typical Morgan.
“I’ve been honest with you from the start.” He tries to defend himself, if anything it’s himself who needs convincing that he’s not completely fucked you up.
You scoff now, shaking your head. “You’re pathetic Morgan.” You walk out of the room and over to the stairs.
“I’m trying to protect you y’know?” He shouts after you, it makes you stop in your tracks.
“I don’t need you to!” You shout back at him. He half expected you to run back into the room and say you’ll stay. His whole body jumped when the front door slammed shut.
The house felt deafeningly quiet.
Morgan stood in the hallway for a few seconds. He rubbed both hands over his face.
“Fuck.”
His phone was already in his hand before he’d even thought about it.
Don’t do this.
Can we just talk?
He watched the little “Delivered” appear before locking his phone and throwing it onto the sofa harder than he meant to.
Days went by and unfortunately for him, work had to continue. His job hadn’t ever felt like ‘work’ until recently. He’d always loved filming and streaming, it was quite literally his everyday routine. But not now. Everything irritated him. He nibbled at absolutely everything and the worst part was there was no excuse because to anyone else he just looked like a miserable bastard. Only you knew how he really felt.
He’d put his phone down for the night already, switching off the light as he got into bed and settled under the covers. Stream had felt so long and performative tonight, he knew he’d fall asleep straight away. If he’d actually put his phone down.
His eyes lit up when he got a notification from instagram. Not from you, much to his disappointment but he went to your chat anyway.
Active 2 minutes ago.
He’d decided to try his luck once more and pressed call before he could even stop himself.
It rang a few times and then suddenly his screen showed you’d declined the call.
His heart raced when he saw you were typing a message. The most attention you’d given him in weeks.
You can’t keep ringing me
Why not?
Seen, no reply.
Morgan couldn’t sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he just replayed that morning. You packing your bag. The look on your face. The front door slamming.
At half one in the morning he caved again.
Just tell me you’re alright.
Please.
He hated typing that last word. He hated needing to. His phone stayed silent.
Across the city yours lit up again on the sticky table of a packed bar. You glanced at the screen. Then turned it face down.
“I’m getting another drink.” You smiled.
“That’s my girl.” Emily winked as you stood up. You looked back towards the dance floor with a smile and wandered off.
“So who is she then?” Michelle beamed. It was the first time she’d had chance to see Morgan since a few days prior when he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She also spent Mondays with Morgan’s nana, Julie, and would often stop by at Morgan’s house before he start steaming.
“Who?” Julie asked curiously.
“Morgan’s got a new friend.”
“Well you kept that quiet!” Julie laughs. “Who is it? What’s she like?”
“She’s no one, just leave it.” Morgan mumbled, scrolling through his phone.
“Didn’t look like no one to me. You like her enough to lend her one of your United shirts I saw!” Michelle laughed, watching at Morgan doesn’t react.
“Mum-“
“I thought you were focusing on work anyway, I told you you can do both!” Julie sat back in his chair.
“I am focusing on work!” He’d started to get visibly irritated now, unable to explain himself and stop the two of them from running away with themselves.
“Good, but you deserve a nice girl in your life as well Morgan.” Michelle smiled, even thinking about you was enough to put a smile on her face these days, even after such a brief conversation.
“Yeah well she’s not in my life anymore so can we just stop talking about her?” He blurts. Waiting a few seconds before sighing. “Sorry, it’s just- I, I’m not bothered about it. She was just a mate anyway.” He spoke quietly, practically mumbling.
Michelle just nods slowly, concern on her face as she watches her son’s clear disappointment.
“Her loss then!” Julie smiled, not wanting to irritate him further.
Michelle didn’t say anything else, she knew he’d open up when the time was right for him.
Morgan sat there for a long time after they’d both gone. The house was quiet again, but not the peaceful kind. It just felt empty.
He replayed the last few months over and over in his head. Every time he’d introduced you as “just a mate.” Every time you’d had to leave before someone came round. Every time he’d acted like there was nothing between you because it was easier than admitting there was. He’d spent so long convincing himself he was protecting you from his life that he’d never stopped to think what it actually felt like to be hidden by it.
You’d never once asked him for much. Just honesty. Just to stop making you feel like something he had to tuck away whenever the real world came knocking. Instead, he’d embarrassed you over and over again, making you feel like some dirty little secret when you deserved to be someone’s first choice.
He finally understood why you’d walked away. The worst part was, for the first time in a long time, he couldn’t blame anyone else for it.
He liked you. A lot more than he’d ever let himself admit. And now he’d fucked it up so badly, he hadn’t got the first clue how he was supposed to make it right.
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The door had barely shut behind Michelle and Julie before Morgan dropped back onto the sofa. The house went quiet again. He actually hated how quiet it was these days, so much so that he’d often sleep at the Bov house.
He sat on the sofa and reached for his phone, unlocking it and staring at the screen for a few seconds. There was nothing from you. There hadn’t been anything from you in two days, but that didn’t seem to stop him checking. Not that he could blame you. He locked it again and let his head fall back against the sofa.
He soon reached for the remote and turned the television up, despite not having a clue what was playing. It did nothing to distract him. What did distract him though was his phone lighting up against his thigh. He grabbed it before he could stop himself, only to find something from Chazza in the group chat.
“Fuck’s sake.”
He dropped it back onto the sofa and pushed himself to his feet. He wasn’t hungry, but he wandered into the kitchen and opened the fridge anyway. After staring inside for a few seconds, he shut it again.
A knock at the front door came not long afterwards. He frowned. For one stupid second, he wondered whether it might be you. Part of him was gutted when he realised it definitely wasn’t.
Michelle stood on the doorstep, her handbag still over her shoulder and her car keys in her hand.
“Mum?”
“Hi.”
“You forget summat?”
Michelle shook her head. “No.”
Morgan glanced past her. “Where’s Nana?”
“I’ve dropped her home.”
“Right.”
She looked back towards her car, then at him again.
“Can I come in?”
Morgan stepped aside. “Course you can.”
She walked through to the kitchen and placed her handbag on one of the stools. Morgan followed her in, still unsure why she’d come back.
“You alright?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“You don’t look it.”
“I’m fine.”
“Brew?”
“Go on then.”
He filled the kettle and switched it on. Michelle sat at the island while he reached for two mugs. Neither of them spoke. He could feel her watching him as he dropped a teabags into each mug.
“You came back for a reason,” he said eventually.
She nodded, trying her hardest to work out how she was going to have this conversation without him feeling awkward.
“So?”
Michelle looked down at her hands. “I’ve just been thinking.”
“That’s dangerous from you.”
“Shut up you cheeky get.”
The corner of his mouth lifted briefly. Once the kettle had boiled, Morgan finished the drinks and pushed hers across the island. Michelle wrapped both hands around the mug but didn’t drink from it.
“I hope she didn’t leave because of me.”
Morgan looked up.
“What?”
“The girl from the other morning.”
His attention went back to his tea. “What about her?”
“I keep thinking I embarrassed her. Letting myself in, asking who she was.”
“She didn’t leave because of you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.” Michelle watched him for a moment as he took a sip of his drink and avoided looking at her.
“She looked upset,” Michelle said.
“Yeah.”
“And you looked like you wanted the floor to swallow you up.”
“I wasn’t expecting you that’s all.”
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.” She smiled slightly, she knows Morgan likes to keep that side of his life private and she respects him all the same.
His jaw tightened. Michelle waited for him to argue. He looked towards the window instead. “You didn’t embarrass me.”
“You looked embarrassed, was it her?”
“No.”
The answer came quickly. Morgan finally looked back at her. “I wasn’t embarrassed of her.”
“Then what were you embarrassed about?”
He rubbed at the back of his neck.
“I don’t know.”
She didn’t say anything. He hated when she did that. It left him with nowhere to push the conversation.
“I just didn’t want you meeting her,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t.”
Michelle lifted her tea but still didn’t drink it. “I’m not trying to have a go at you,” she said. “I just don’t want to think I chased her out.”
“You didn’t.”
“Then what happened?”
He turned away, walking over to the sink. He picked up a spoon and ran it under the tap even though it was already clean.
“She’d had enough.”
Michelle’s voice softened. “Of what?”
Morgan shut the tap off.
“Me.”
The kitchen went quiet again. Michelle stayed where she was, giving him time to turn back around.
“How long had you been seeing her?”
He dried the spoon on the tea towel. “Few months.”
“A few months?”
“Yeah, what? What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing! I’m just surprised.”
“Why?”
“Because you spoke about her before like she was some random girl.”
“She was.”
Michelle frowned.
Morgan sighed. “At first.” He leaned back against the sink, folding the tea towel in his hands. “It was just sex.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “Right.”
“Can we not make that weird?”
“I’m not making it weird.”
“You’ve got a face on.”
“I’m your mum. What face am I meant to have?”
He almost laughed.
She picked up her tea. “So it started off casual.”
“Yeah.”
“And then it stopped being casual.”
Morgan looked down at the tea towel.
“She started staying more.”
“Right.”
“We’d get food. Watch stuff. Sometimes she’d stay for a couple of days.”
Michelle nodded slowly.
“She wanted it to be more,” he continued. “I told her I couldn’t.”
“Couldn’t or didn’t want to?”
Morgan looked at her. “My life’s mental. I’m away all the time, filming, streaming. I haven’t got time for all that.”
Michelle glanced around the kitchen.
“But you had time for her.”
“That was different.”
“How?”
“It just was.”
She let out a quiet breath through her nose. Morgan knew she didn’t believe him.
“Girlfriends just too much.”
“You said that?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you mean it?”
Morgan stared at the floor.
“I thought I did.”
Michelle’s expression changed slightly, but she didn’t interrupt.
“When I came back from New York, it got worse,” Morgan said. “She was here all the time. We were doing stuff together. It was basically…”
He stopped.
“Basically what?”
Morgan rubbed his thumb over the edge of the tea towel.
“You know.”
“No, I don’t.”
He looked up at her, annoyed. “A relationship.”
Michelle stayed quiet.
“Just without calling it one,” he finished.
“And when I walked in, it looked like one.”
Morgan’s mouth tightened. Michelle rested her arms against the island. “And that scared you.”
“I wasn’t scared.”
“You panicked.”
Morgan didn’t answer. He placed the tea towel down and walked back towards the counter.
“I knew what would happen,” he said. “You’d ask questions. Nana would find out. Everyone would start treating it like something serious.”
“But it was serious.”
“I didn’t want it to be.”
Michelle looked at him for a moment. “That doesn’t mean it wasn’t.”
Morgan picked up his tea, realised it had gone cold and put it straight back down again.
“She said I couldn’t keep treating her like my girlfriend when nobody was there, then acting like she was nothing as soon as someone walked in.” Morgan swallowed.
“She said she was done waiting for me to decide if she was worth it.”
His eyes stayed fixed on the counter.
“And was she?” Michelle asked.
“What?”
“Worth it.”
Morgan let out a short laugh, but there was no humour in it. “Shut up, you’re being weird.”
Michelle’s face softened, his face was all she needed as an answer. Morgan seemed to realise his face was growing redder and looked away again.
“I wasn’t trying to upset her.”
“I know.”
“I told her what it was at the start.”
“At the start,” Michelle repeated. Morgan nodded.
“I know.”
He rubbed both hands over his face.
“I kept telling myself that if I didn’t call it anything, then it couldn’t turn into anything.”
“But it did.”
“Yeah. And now I’ve fucked it.” Morgan looked down again. For a moment, neither of them spoke. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted.
It came out quietly, like he hadn’t meant to say it.
Michelle rubbed her hand over his arm.
“Start by being honest with yourself.”
“Helpful.”
“You can’t ask her to come back and expect her to settle for exactly what she had before.”
“I know.”
She studied his face. Morgan looked exhausted.
Michelle picked up her handbag and slipped it over her shoulder. “You need to wise up,” she said.
Morgan huffed out a quiet laugh. “Cheers, Mam.”
“I mean it.”
“I know.”
She headed towards the hallway, then stopped near the kitchen door.
“Morgan?”
“What?”
“If you speak to her, don’t just tell her what you think will get her back.”
He waited.
“Tell her what you really want.” Morgan’s eyes moved towards the phone on the counter.
“Yeah. I will, love you mum.”
“Love you too.”
The front door clicked shut a few seconds later and Morgan stood alone in the kitchen.
He picked up his phone. Your name was still near the top of his messages. He opened the chat and stared at the empty box at the bottom of the screen, typed something.
Deleted it. Typed again. Deleted that too.
He locked the phone and placed it face down on the counter. Less than five seconds later, he picked it back up. He stared at the screen again, jaw tight.
Then, before he could overthink it.
I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t fuck this up.
His thumb hovered. He kept going.
You were right about everything you said.
Another pause. He swallowed.
I didn’t treat you properly. Not when it mattered.
He stared at the words for a second, then added.
And I hate that I made you feel like you weren’t good enough, especially infront front of my mum.
His chest tightened. He exhaled slowly and kept typing.
I don’t expect you to just come back or anything. But I need to be honest with you.
His thumb hesitated again.
I want this. With you. Properly this time.
His heart was beating harder now.
If you don’t want that, I’ll leave you alone. I mean that. But if you’re willing to talk… even just for ten minutes… I’d really like to see you.
I miss you.
He didn’t even give himself time to change his mind. Instead he hit send and locked his phone once more.
You spent every spare moment you had at Morgan’s house before he left to go to New York. It wasn’t planned, it just happened. It started small, he’d pick you up a few streets down from your apartment late at night when he was desperate for you. Every night you went over it got earlier and earlier to the point where you’d quietly let yourself in whilst he was streaming, he’d tell you to wait in his room, careful to avoid his chat realising that he wasn’t alone in the house anymore.
He’d climb into bed at some early hour once the stream had ended and wrap himself up in you. It only took a mere 5 minutes between him getting into bed, kissing your neck and him pushing his cock inside you. For the most part anyway, there’d been times when he just got into bed and pulled you into his chest, falling straight to sleep. A rarity that felt incredibly different to any other time you’d spent together. These days, it all seemed very domestic and part of you had conditioned yourself to forget about the fact he was leaving for America soon.
You groaned as soon as you heard your alarm ring around Morgan’s bedroom. Lifting his arm from your waist, you reached over to turn it off. When you did, he automatically pulled you back into him, closer than before.
“Where’d you think you’re going?” He nuzzled his head into your neck, kissing at your bare skin as his other hand stroked sleepily over your stomach.
“Uni.” You giggled, still half asleep.
“Do you have to? I thought we could lay in bed all day.”
“You have to pack.”
He sighed at that, a reminder that he’s leaving later today. He was buzzing to be fair, excited for the opportunity but right now all he could think about was how he’d enjoyed the last week a little bit more than he’d like to admit.
It was only 20 minutes later when you’d announced you were having a shower and he’d decided to join you. You realised there was no point in setting off to uni now, you’d miss the start of your lecture and who likes walking into an auditorium late. You couldn’t care less though when you saw him standing behind you, grinning at you as you pushed you against the wall before bending you over one last time before he left.
You didn’t really know what to do by the time it came to leaving him. It wasn’t your typical goodbye and nothing you wanted to do seemed appropriate considering the circumstances.
“I’m leaving, enjoy your trip.” You smiled, your bag over your shoulder and phone in your hand.
He looked at you stood in the doorway as he packed his suitcase. He didn’t smile, didn’t do anything.
“I’ll..see you when I’m back then.” He nodded slightly, still hunched over his suitcase.
“Yeah, see you then.” Before you did or said anything stupid, you turned from the door and headed for the stairs. Until he shouted you back.
“Yeah?” You turned and watched as he walked out of his bedroom, arms open for you to hug him. You stood there frozen for a few seconds, before walking back to him and melting into his arms. He wrapped himself around you, both of you standing there silently until he kissed the top of your head. You looked up and smiled, he ceased the moment, kissing your lips softly with a similar smile to your own.
“Bye.” You quietly spoke, leaving indefinitely before you begged him to stay.
America was unbelievable. Like nothing he’d ever experienced before. The atmosphere, the house, everything was like a dream. And in true Morgan fashion, he managed to forget about everything other than work for a few days, which ultimately meant you hadn’t heard from him at all. You can’t say you were shocked, you could’ve called it the minute you left his house. In times like these, you start to realise that he really can’t keep up with a relationship because of work.
So when Heather and the girls suggested you all go to the pub to watch the England match, you’d said yes. They didn’t have to know you were upset but it got you out of the house for a few hours.
You watched as the game started to kick off on the big screen. You couldn’t help but wonder where he was, where he was sitting, what he was doing. But your thoughts were soon turned by Emily presenting you with a tequila rose shot instead.
By the end of the game you were all pretty drunk, celebrating with a group of lads you’d met out. Heather left early, a meeting with her management at 9am wouldn’t go down well hungover but the rest of you had decided to stay.
The whole pub was a sea of red and white singing, dancing, celebrating the England win. You wondered if Morgan was celebrating? If he was going out tonight? How that would look for him, a single man in New York? The thought alone almost made you physically shiver.
A few more drinks was all it took to have you all up and celebrating with the rest of the England fans. You’re not even sure when or how it happened but you’d ended up with an England bucket hat on your head and a flag in your hand as you were lifted onto someone’s shoulders. You and the girls were in hysterics, watching and filming as you enthusiastically waved the flag around in the air.
You laughed later when you watched the footage back, deciding not to repost it to your instagram when you looked so drunk.
“He was fit.” Emily smiled, watching back the video with you.
“Yeah…” You laughed. “He was alright.”
“Alright?! Reader, he’s been eye fucking you all night.”
“He hasn’t.”
“This isn’t to do with-“
“You said you wouldn’t bring that up again Em!” Your eyes widened.
“Right, right I’m sorry.” She backed down immediately, recalling the time that you’d begged her not to tell anyone about you leaving Morgan’s car that night. You’d told her it was a one night thing, nothing more. “Come on, let’s go home.”
The two of you managed to pull the other girls away from the bar and into an uber. In your drunk state you couldn’t be bothered to do anything at all, simply flopping on your bed in your clothes and makeup and closing your eyes.
You’d slept right through until 11am the next morning, groaning as you realised you didn’t even close your blinds last night, big regrets. Your head hurt, your mouth was dry and you sighed as you realised you still had your trainers on.
Better yet, you picked up your phone and saw missed call after missed call, around 10 of them all one minute after the other. And all from Morgan.
“Hello?” You shout, walking into your mam and dad’s house, suitcase in hand. You’d drove home that morning to spend some much needed quality time with your family.
“Reader?” Your mum shouts, tea towel in hand as she walks out of the kitchen. “Hi darling.” She smiles, walking over for a hug, quickly followed by your dad.
“Where’s George?” You ask quickly, not meaning to be rude but you’d been desperate to see your brother since he returned home last week.
Your mum smiles fondly.
“He’s upstairs. He’s been out last night.”
You put your suitcase on your old, childhood bed before hearing a knock at the door.
“George.” You smiled, running over and throwing your arms around him.
“Alright?” He laughed, a hoodie and joggers drowning his frame as always.
You spent the next half an hour catching up in your room. George was the only person in your life you trusted with absolutely everything. He knew everything and he actually listened to whatever it is you had to say. Validating your feelings where necessary and giving you (mostly shit) advice.
“I told you to fuck him off ages ago, he’s a prick.” George rolls his eyes, shaking his head as you gave him the latest about Morgan.
“No, it’s actually going good! I’ve practically lived at his house before he left, we were really good.”
“And he’s still not made you his girlfriend?” George raises his eyebrow.
“Well, he’s busy. He’s always really busy with work, it just wouldn’t be ideal right now.” You shrug, it the same excuse you’d been giving George for the past 5 months since you met Morgan. And again George shook his head.
“Bullshit. If he wanted to commit to you, he would.” You sighed at his response, mostly because you know it’s true. “Listen Reader, you deserve way more than him. You shouldn’t be someone’s secret, anyone should be proud to be with you.”
It makes you laugh slightly, you’d always struggled with compliments especially from George.
“Come on, mum and dad want to go down to the pub for tea.” George nudges you, heading out of your room and leaving you alone to get ready.
The night went by quickly, the four of you catching up in the local. Followed by a slow walk back home. As soon as you were back at the house, you took off your makeup and tucked yourself into bed looking around at your old bedroom. You felt oddly comforted by it. Until your phone started ringing.
“Hello?” You watched as Morgan’s face filled the screen on FaceTime.
“Alright love? Just got back.” He’s sprawled across the bed in the house in New York. They’d just got a flight back from Dallas after watching the match.
“What time is it there?” You ask, lifting up the covers and getting comfy.
“About 10, the boys have stayed out for a bit.”
You nod, smiling at the idea of him staying in to call you but realising it’s not reality.
“How’s New York?”
“It’s class.” He nods. “Mental though. Everywhere’s just… massive. Been filming all day.”
“You sound tired.”
“I am tired.”
There’s a comfortable silence between you. Neither of you seems in a rush to fill it.
“You at your mum and dad’s?”
“How’d you know?”
“You said you were going.”
You look around, suddenly realising the change in scenery and remembering your conversation with him about going to see George.
“How’s George?” He’s quick to ask. The question catches you slightly off guard.
“He’s alright. Been home about a week.”
“He still think I’m an idiot?”
You laugh.
“He’s never met you and he’s never said that.”
“I bet he does though.”
“Hm.” You shrug to yourself, not having the energy to lie about how George feels towards Morgan.
Morgan rubs a hand over his face.
“Fair.” He doesn’t argue.
You study him for a second.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
“Just knackered.”
You don’t entirely believe him.
“Fair enough.”
“You’d like it here y’know?”
“Yeah? I wouldn’t even know where to begin in New York.” You laugh at the idea. You can just about navigate Manchester city centre after 2 years of living there.
“I could show you one day, we’ve been to loads of cool places.”
You smile. Six months ago that sentence would’ve been enough to keep you happy for weeks. Now, all you can hear is George.
If he wanted to commit to you, he would.
He’d happily take you to New York. Just never as his girlfriend.
You imagine the two of you in New York. Like a proper couple, staying in a hotel without having to be quiet around the corridors, going out breakfast instead of staring the four walls of Morgan’s house over a cup of tea. You pull yourself out of your daze before you go too far.
“Missed me then?” You smirk.
“No.”
“No?” You scoff. “Not even a little bit?”
He sighs dramatically.
“You’re hard work.”
“So that’s a yes?”
“I didn’t say that.” He laughs as he shakes his head. You sigh.
“Fine.”
“I’ve missed a cup of tea when I wake up actually.”
“So that’s what I’m good for?” You laugh, shaking your head. Moving your phone until it’s propped against your bedside drawers.
“Well, and other things.” He laughs. “But your brews are class to be fair.”
“Well thanks I guess.”
“You look tired,” he says eventually.
“I got up early.”
“What time?”
“Half seven.”
He pulls a face, one that resembles disgust.
“Absolutely not.”
“I had to drive.”
“I’ve got to be up stupidly early tomorrow.”
“So why are you still awake?”
He shrugs.
“Didn’t fancy going straight to sleep.” He smiles to himself as you yawn.
“There it is.”
“Shut up.”
“Told you you were tired.”
Your eyelids feel heavier by the second and he notices.
“You can go to sleep, you know.”
“I know.”
Another quiet moment settles between you. You hear him moving around his room, switching off a light before climbing back onto the bed. The city lights are still glowing faintly behind him. Neither of you mentions ending the call. You close your eyes for a second, without even realising.
When you open them again, Morgan is still there, absent-mindedly scrolling on his phone.
“You still there?” you mumble.
“Mhm.”
“You should go to sleep.”
“In a minute.”
“You’ve said that for the last ten minutes.”
“I know.”
That’s the last thing you remember saying before drifting off to the sound of his fingers tapping against his screen as he scrolls through different apps, not bothering to end the call.
“Reader?” He says quietly after 5 minutes, the only response he gets is your light snores which makes him chuckle.
“Night then.” He shuffles down into the bed a bit more, propping his own phone up before getting comfy. Leaving the call running.
