#funnylesbian

Sometimes I feel ugly and ashamed. Theres a channel that I am finding is my only source for relief; Painting and making music is in there, I suppose Its creating something that is my own. I’m hoping this can be one as well.

Right now I work a full time job- dwindled down to about 20 hours a week because I honestly dont give a fuck about my job. I have great work ethic while on the job but! I have been known to call out wayy too much without a good excuse. Lets just say I have a lot of emergencies hahaha and sometimes I choose to drink rather than go to my job- Theres definitely a problem there- Im bored with my life and would rather be sedated than go to my fucking job- thats seriously not even that bad- i just dont want to work for any body else but myself and its become fairly apparent since I got a job for the first time. I find myself loyal to myself over the companies I work for. I find myself wanting to work on myself more than I care about improving someone elses bullshit. I find myself painting and creating and finding that it makes me happier than I’ve ever imagined I could be. Its therapeutic and I feel like I find my soul and compassion- my forgiveness and success. I feel successful when I do these things because I’ve just created something I think is Interesting. It was from me for me and I get to share it

Anyway-.

I work as hard as I can unless I feel like complete shit and hate myself that day. Ive realized I feel like shit pretty often while I work. Im constantly thinking about the things that I can do to move myself forward into this world. ( i. e. my business ZEPHYRDESIGNS [#ZPHRDZSN]) p.s. find me on etsy and fb or someshit.

I’m a generally outgoing, confident, semi-insecure human being who of course has their own issues but ultimately people like. I’m gregarious and I have a dominant personality I’ve definitely noticed that being a dominant woman is intimidating to a wide range of people especially straight cis men and occasionally straight cis women. I’m pretty attractive- straight and bisexual women usually love me. Men -obviously- tend to like me. I’m sure being a 85.5% lesbian helps. And gay women come in last there on the attraction scale, which is fine with me because I generally don’t like to date lesbians because im not ready or just dont like to go all fast and shit. 

Like - Please- I would SERIOUSLY like to get to know who you are before I jump into all that nonsense of investing myself and coming to find out that I really don’t like you when the honeymoon is over. *sharply inhales* I’m not saying that all lesbians are on my no list- in fact I’ve met some super cool ones that I’ve fallen in love with and one that I fell deeply in love with. Didn’t work out I’m single AF but also picky af so just note that my feelings for emotional distance and my capability to be neutral are capable as fuck. That’s another thing, I get falling in love, I’ve been there many times. I can fall in love with my friends and still not want to be in a relationship with them. I can choose to fall in love if I feel like the person that is falling in love with me will make me a better person and vice y versa. I really care where I am going and want to push toward the better version of myself. A partner or partners can be a tool. Although, I know it is my job ultimately to take care of myself and believe in myself-  A partner that is super positively compatible can allow anyone to become a stronger more positive and healthy person.

This is my first blog on this tumblr. I have a few followers right now and I’m hoping to help you guys find some kind of solidarity or commonality. I generally write how I speak and this blog is going to be pretty honest so if I invite you in here and I know you personally I guess I’m fucked or you’re the Homie hahaha

p.s I feel better. this might work.

p.p.s feel free to ask any questions. maybe ill grow to love you