#funny-and-random

Memory is like a box of chocolates. They disappear quickly.

If anybody tells says you have to follow his or her #religion or you're going to hell, tell that silly ass to go to hell. Be well.

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.

Hasn’t stopped us before. And besides, if they wanted to kill us, we’d be dead by now and would be having an entirely different conversation. I wonder if I’d still be mad at you, or if we would talk in words or pictures. Maybe in smells. That would be cool.” -Janco

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

Love | If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.