Too much information, and testing my sexuality
Be warned, this entry will be very TMI.Ā
Iām home now. I really enjoyed staying at my grandmotherās houseā¦ I had some alone time and I had some granny timeā¦ and it was all fine and dandy.
You know what really sucks? Periods. Yeah I know I know, everyone hates their periods and all that shit and the totally Christian people are like āyour period is the most natural thing on earth, you should be thankful for your opportunity to have children blah blah bla Christian bull crapā
Yeah well fuck you Christian people I donāt give a shit about children, and when Iām on my period I canāt fucking masturbate without blood getting everywhere and itās nasty and I have long nails so blood will go under my nails and cuticles.
Ā I havenāt masturbated in two whole days. Okay I sound like a person who masturbates all the time, itās not true. Sometimes I masturbate every day and then thereāll be like a whole month where I donāt even look at myself. Donāt think me a freak, though you probably already doā¦ I am you after all.
Maybe I should get a boyfriend, apparently boyfriends are pretty easy to come by these days. I mean when I was younger it would be one of the seven wonders of this earth if a guy should ever come over and talk to me. By this I mean I was the girl no guys would ever want to come near. But nowā¦ now guys are apparently lining up Ā to drunk call me and tell me that we should go out, yes Smilesandsixpacks is drunk-calling me again.
I donāt really want a guy though (thatās a lie, I am about as horny as any horny male teenager out there) I would rather have a girlfriendā¦ yes I have been pondering my sexuality these days. I canāt quite figure out what I amā¦ am I bi? Or am I hetero with bi-curious tendencies ? am I making myself believe that I am bi just because it would cause a bit of a stir? Am I just wanting to be gay to rile people up and be a little special? I wanted to figure this out, so I went through one of the most precise tests in the world to test myself, am I gay or not!? Iām sure youāre dying to know the answer! I underwent the google images test.. first I looked at women and then I looked at guys. Now I know I already appreciate the male body.. but looking at the female body I tried imagining myself kissing her neck and lightly pulling up her shirt, so clearly I could see myself both with a man and a woman. I thought I needed to go further in my investigation so I went to look at pictures of genitalia of both the male kind and the female kind. And this is where things got interesting. I didnāt like the penis or the vagina apparently. I mean lesbian honest hereā¦ did you get that? instead of letās beā¦. Hahahah get a life Anna. Okay serious Anna is back, sorry for the interruption. Okay so letās be honest here the dick and balls arenāt exactly hot to look at.. all wrinkled and nasty-looking, I mean ew disgusting. It looks like a turtleās neck where those nasty skin folds areā¦ just no, fucking hell donāt get that thing close to my face I will slap you if you do. And the vagina looks like that octopus in that āpirates of the Caribbeanā move where in the end Jack jumps into it with a sword and it spays him with slimeā¦ Iām just saying, genitalia is fucking disgusting but also very magical at the same time. I mean how can something so disgusting give such magical pleasure? Thatās awesome! Have you ever had one of those days where you just look at your own vagina (or dick, no judgment here bro) and you just realize that your own genitalia is just so fucking disgusting, I mean wow talk about an octopus mouth between my legsā¦ oh wow we certainly went far my dear blogā¦ how did I go from writing about crushes on teachers to talking about my vagina on the internet? :o I donāt know, but while we are on the topic of my vagina; I usually masturbate at night before bed time, just like how potheads smoke a blunt before bedtime, and you know if I had a really awesome orgasm the next day I will leak fluids like the self-lube kind of fluidsā¦ is that weird or is that totally normal? Iām guessing itās normal. Okay back to sexuality. So I have realized that I do not get turned on by looking at the dick or the vagina.. but I might be more attracted to just the general idea of sex and the act itself and not the components that make the act possible i. e. the dick and the vagina. I get more attracted to the idea or mental image of me or two other people engaging in sexual activities, for example I find the idea of me going down on one of my girlfriends veryā¦ interestingā¦ I find that I get truned on by looking at /imagining sexual activities where one or both of the involved (this is usually porn) are getting real rough and toughā¦ I like dominance playā¦ is this all wrong and weird? I mean there are whole porn categories dedicated to this so I would think this is very normalā¦ this is a normal kink, right? I actually think it isā¦ why else would so many people buy 50 Shades of Whatever? Itās nice to know that I am normal after all.. so I guess there will be no conclusion to the question thus far, I still donāt know if I am straight or biā¦ but I guess Iāll find out one day, right? I mean I was down on Anna2, but it wasnāt good at allā¦ I got a beard burn and felt like throwing up all the whileā¦ but that might just have been the tequila.. so I donāt knowā¦ I also did have Mathhottieās dick in my mouth, it could have also been thatā¦. Fuck it, I donāt want to think about it right now, Iām signing out. Goodnight blog, oh and donāt tell anyone about my vagina, I havenāt talked to my friends about itā¦ and thatās because none of my friends masturbate apparentlyā¦ so yeah no one to talk to, damnā¦ So fucking untrue, theyāre just embarrassed about it. I mean thereās only two kinds of people in this world: people who masturbate and people who lie about not masturbating.
