#fun fics

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Interviewer: So what is it like working for Iron Man?

Employee A: Oh! Easy question. I like that. It is an honor, you know. It's what I thought when I joined, and it still is now. But also, I did not expect that SI is a place where we are allowed to prioritize things like family. Like last time, I left my phone on silent at my desk cause I had to go to a meeting. My kid at home was having an emergency and I couldn't be reached. But apparently, Friday, Mr. Stark's AI, keeps track of phone vibrations so she made the report and someone came to notify me. I didn't even know there was a protocol for that. Turns out my daughter was having her period for the first time! And I'm a single father so I had no idea what to do and I was panicking. Next thing I know, an SI nurse came and apparently she was sent by Mr. Stark to walk me through how to help. Apparently, Fri also caught my panic rumblings and triggered 'YOU ARE NOT ALONE PROTOCOL' or something. (*laughing*) The next week, we received an official email introducing a new department called Human Care. They encourage everyone to reach out if we ever find ourselves out of our depths on non company emergency matters.

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Interviewer: How long have you been working here?

Employee B: Eight years, two months, six days and counting.

Interviewer: What's the weirdest thing you've witnessed here?

Employee B: (blanks out)

Employee B (struggling to think): Ahm. Really? Just one? Er- That's a tough one. Maybe that one time they set up a room for everyone to try lifting Thor's hammer? Or wait, no, maybe that time there when flying roombas were everywhere following Mr. Stark and reminding him to eat? Or when a villain came via the vents but before he could come down, Hawkeye accidentally hit him with pepper spray? I don't know, man. Weird things happen a lot. We're used to it by now.

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Interviewer: Do you feel safe working here?

Employee C: Yeah. The avengers live here. But to tell you the truth, I think Happy Hogan and his black tux team of agents scare all the potential bad guys away. I heard rumors that Black Widow personally trains them. Like, I know two of them. Jake, for instance. He's like a giant, and he is intimidating but I saw him crying one time and when I asked him why, he just said Mr. Hogan.

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Interviewer: Which avenger have you met?

Employee D: Oh, I've met two of them. Captain America and Thor. It was odd but one time, they were in the cafeteria and carrying trays of food and I do not mean just one each. Nope. Like, a ton! Like they're feeding an army. But it makes sense. Can you imagine the workout? With bodies like theirs? And the battles they go to? Man, if I have to save the world from aliens, I'll probably need the same nutrition.

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Interviewer: Which avenger is the kindest?

Employee E: Ahm...We all know they're all badass. But kindest, I think Spider-Man. Last Thursday, it was raining, and then Spidey suddenly came all wet and holding a box and I'm gonna quote him now. He said, "Friday, can you please ask Mr. Sam Wilson Falcon sir to come down? The shelter is close and I have a box of puppies and I really, really want to bring them up but Mr. Stark is gonna ban me from the lab again."

Interviewer: Aww. So what happened next? What did they do with the puppies?

Employee E (grinning): Falcon came down, alright. But he came with Iron Man who zoomed past everyone to drag Spidey to the penthouse. I am not sure what I heard but he was muttering about oven toasters and frozen spiderlings? In the end, aome employees volunteered to take care of them. But I believe two of them are at the avengers' floor. We saw Mr. Stark ranting about puppy paw paint marks on his armani.

Interviewer (gasps): Oh my. Was he mad?

Employee E (ends up laughing): Mad? Try grunting fondly? Peter really likes those puppies. Mr. Stark tried to act like he hates them but really, he adores everything about the kid, puppies included. He even had custom made collars with avengers logo made for them.

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Interviewer: I'm sorry? The Winter Soldier was asking directions to where?

Employee F: The Lego Store.

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Interviewer: How would you describe the workload? Do you still get work life balance?

Employee G: I guess it depends. I work in R&D and we're all nerds there. So like, we're typically busy but it's play for us. Some days, we're really cramped with work, mostly when deadlines are nearing or sometimes, we're just really in the zone, we do not want to stop. Peter activated 'NIGHT NIGHT PROTOCOL' for that. Had Fri lock us out of the lab and we had no choice but to go home or nap at the sleep wing. And would you believe? After the product launch, we got emails on mandatory vacation leaves with bonus to spend! Like, who does that? So yeah, it's cool working here.

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And then, there was this:

Interviewer: How does it feel to be the heir of a multibillion dollar top green tech company?

Peter (stares quizzically, dumb-founded): Uhhh-....Look, sorry, I think I'm in the wrong room. I'm not- Maybe you got the wrong questionnaire? I'm just an intern-

Interviewer: Oh. Wait. Is it top secret then? Sorry, I was told of your identity as Mr. Stark's kid so I thought I could ask. But if you're not comfortable-

Peter: WHAT!?? Who said that? They're probably just joking.

Interviewer (chuckles nervously): Ms. Potts did actually.

Peter (freezes): Oh.

Suddenly the door opens and Tony walks in.

Tony: Hey kid, and Ms. Carrenland. How's the interview going? Thought I'd drop by for moral support, you know.

Peter (looks torn, but excuses himself to go to Tony): Uhm, Mr. Stark, can I talk to you for a second? Look, sir, ahm, I think there's been a misunderstanding. The interviewer asks me how it feels to be your heir. Like that's real. I don't-

Tony (has his brows rising to his hairline): Kid. Peter. Breathe.

Peter (groans and sighs embarrassingly): I just didn't want to lie! They mistook me for someone else. It was a misunderstanding!

Tony (smirking): It's really not.

Peter: What?

Tony: Kiddo, I was the one who gave Pep the approval to sign the questions. And really, you've been managing the R&D department and shadowing Pep at management for a year now. You never wondered why I make you do that?

Peter: Oh.

Tony: Yup. Genius child here.

Peter: I just wanted to help. You seem stressed out with the Avengers' work and dealing with the government. I thought I could lend a hand. I didn't- I don't expect you to- I'm not worth that, Mr. Stark.

Tony (scoffs): I beg to differ. Look, I'll be honest with you. Even if you aren't interested in the company, it's still gonna be yours. Look around you, kid. Do you think I let just anyone go around with a free pass at my tower? You have a room at my home. This place is your home, as where as everywhere else that I own. Plus, it's another motivation for you to take care of yourself when you go out as Spidey. Imagine all our employees. They need you, kiddo.

Peter (mumbling softly): I'm just Peter Parker.

This one actually has a whole universe of fics with it!

I saw the king today.

It was the two hundred and thirty-eighth royal procession. Every year we have one when the harvest comes in; a chance for the people to see their ruler, the ruler to see his people. As a historian, I recognize the social purpose of such things. Continuity is key. Our land's history is full of disjuncts; coups and struggle, power plays and civil wars, rebellions both failed and (occasionally) successful. The king shows that all of that is over. It means a lot to everyone.

The king is the reason we have a university at all. I imagine my life sometimes in the Old Times - struggling for food and shelter, working as a serf under an uncaring master, possibly killed in one of the raids and struggles that were so depressingly common. My students don't know how lucky they are - not really. This world is the only one they have known. They take for granted that they will have enough - enough food, enough clothes, enough money. They have only known the King's Peace. I use my class to remind them of how things used to be, but there's no way to make sure they listen. Nobody goes without under the king. It's the way of things now, and only those like me who know the past know how ephemeral, how fragile such prosperity can be.

I saw the king today.

His court was all around him. The nobles look a bit harried and worn. I suppose it comes with the job. The king expects them to attend their duties; word gets out of the fate of those who ignore their people, who don't give those who depend on them enough to live and be productive. We all have duties. The sensible among us are happy to do them. After all, we've seen the alternative. Compared to what we've had, thank all the gods for the king.

General Kalos wasn't in the procession. He is supposed to be waging war. That's a shame, I suppose. Other people somewhere are suffering like we used to; that would make any knowing heart feel heavy. Still, once they are conquered, they too can find the King's Peace. We have troublemakers come from time to time, insulting the king, trying to overthrow him for their own sensibilities. They've learned to stop bringing their armies; Kalos and the others tend to those fairly quickly. But bands of would-be "liberators" wander in from time to time. They don't even make it to the royal city, usually. Even the peasants who work the land here know the benefits of the King's Peace.

I saw the king today.

It's always a bit of a shock. No matter how many times I see him, it surprises me to see the bony form striding along, the cool, icy glow in the skeletal sockets in place of eyes. He always seems to leach the light from the sun, somehow; part of his royal power, I suppose. I've seen him my whole life. My parents are the same, and theirs, and theirs, on back for almost two hundred fifty years, but still it's strange to see. We're all quite lucky that he cared so much for us he was willing to stay. As he passed, he glanced at me. I felt him in my mind. I bowed. Of course I bowed. I owe him everything. I felt his smile. Such a kind king he is.

Part 3/5.

Rating: M

Word Count:

Ship: Harringrove

Major Tags: Crack treated seriously. Body Swap.

Summary: Billy asked Steve out on a date and Steve absolutely shoul dn’t say yes, but he does. He shouldn’t do something crazy like fall in love with Billy either, which he won’t. Firstly, because he’s not gay. And secondly, he’s not the girl Billy thinks he is.

Preview: 

“So I’m not the king of geography. Sue me.” Billy, in the middle of taking another big bite, choked, making a wet sound in his nose not unlike a pig snorting for truffles, and it was the most uncool Billy Hargrove had ever looked (Steve was sure) in his generic, unflattering button down, with pizza sauce and pineapple juice in the corners of his mouth, but you couldn’t tell Steve that.

Bruno had dragged this man into Charles’s office 30 minutes ago, Eddie wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing there. He had been tied up, rag in his mouth, eyes bloodshot. 30 minutes of struggling, still trying to break free of the ropes tied too tight, his wrists burned from his fighting.

Eddie wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, why Charles brought a seemingly innocent man into his office, keeping him there, tied to the same chair Eddie usually sat in. Could that be Eddie next? 

Same chair, same fate.

Of course, Eddie was just as disposable as everyone else who worked for Charles, no matter how many times Charles got excited to bring him home, to be alone with him. It’s what made Charles love his private box so much, he could tell Bruno to go away and leave Eddie alone, helpless.

Eddie never knew what that felt like. He was a big guy, stronger than most. You didn’t want to cross the cowboy, gold tooth shining. But when Charles was in the picture, suit ironed, face shining, not a scratch on his perfect, perfectly soft skin. Eddie felt helpless.

Charles was a god, to say the least. Eddie knew it, he had seen it. He had seen everything, every sadistic trait, every moment where he’s normal. He’s never normal, it’s rare to see him show joy that isn’t at the expense of others.

“I think we’re done here,” Charles leaned back in his chair, Eddie jumping at the sound of his voice, his heart beating faster. He turned back to the man, the man who he’d never know the name of, the man who’d never make it out of this room, “Eddie, finish him off.”

Eddie turned his head to Charles’s desk as he heard him move something closer to him, a loaded gun in Eddie’s direction.

“Ya can’t be serious,” he nearly laughed, eyebrows furrowed, glancing back at the man with tears in his eyes, struggling so hard against the ropes. If Eddie didn’t do this he’d be next. If Eddie didn’t do this he’d share the fate of this man, gun to his head, bullet piercing his skull.

“Eddie,” Charles stood up, knowing he was hesitating, knowing he couldn’t have that, “When I say run, you say?”

“How far.”

Charles put his hands on Eddie’s waist, nails gripping hard into his jeans, hands wandering into his back pockets, pulling him closer, “When I say jump, you say?”

“How high,” Eddie knew this trick, he heard Charles use it so many times.

Charles brought one hand to Eddie’s chin, forcing him to look down at him, “Good treasure,” he smiled, pressing a soft kiss of approval onto Eddie’s lips, “When I say kill, you?”

“Shoot. 3 in the head. 4 in the chest.”

Charles let go of Eddie’s chin, handing him the loaded gun, fingers wandering to Eddie’s open chest, nails on his skin, “Good treasure.”

Eddie turned back to the man, the man he’d never know the name of, the man he’d never get to apologize to. If he apologized he’d be next.

He raised the gun, finger on the trigger.

Day 5: midnight buffet (as many under 500 word fics as you can comment on)

A total of 17 comments left today!!!

Thank you to ALL these amazing authors for all the fun reads!!! We Ship and Let Ship in this house - there WILL be CLONESHIPPING below - if something isn't your cup of tea, please scroll on and enjoy the rest of your day. (In the spirit of Just Leave A Comment Fest, please drop some love for the authors if you find something you like here.)

(CODY/OBI-WAN)

taken it all (and we're far from finished)

By Siderea @siderealdei

(EXPLICIT. Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, 212th Attack Battalion/Obi-Wan Kenobi, implied Gang Bang, Established Relationship, Come Stuffing, Submissive Obi-Wan Kenobi)

Summary: For SubObi Week 2022 Day 6: Come stuffing. Obi-Wan finds some downtime to indulge with his battalion.

My thoughts: ooooo boy!!!!! Super HOT, but there's love there, too. 🥵🫠

Falling Through the Ice

By meantforinfinitesadness @meantforinfinitesadness

(NOT RATED. Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hurt/Comfort, Falling Through Ice, Huddling For Warmth)

Summary: He doesn’t remember hearing the ice break. He doesn’t remember falling through it. The cold water beats his already tired and battered body. His breath is frozen in his throat and he makes the mistake of opening his mouth. It’s dark and it’s cold. He doesn’t know where he is.

My thoughts: Awww such sweet and SOFT ending. LOVED it.

Ca'chaab

By emrys (livingshitpost) @frecklenog

(TEEN. Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Kissing, Mando'a, Cody Needs a Hug, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, stablished Relationship, Obi-Wan Kenobi Singing)

Summary: (ca'chaab; night fear) Cody has a nightmare. Obi-Wan helps him calm down.

My thoughts - AAaaaa so SOFT. My HEARTTTTTT 🥺🥹🥹🥹

Ice

By meantforinfinitesadness @meantforinfinitesadness

(NOT RATED. Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ice, Hypothermia, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Worried Cody, Force Exhaustion)

Summary: Cody’s feet struggled to keep traction as he ran across the ice. He could hear the tell-tale sound of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber behind him as it slashed at the beast. Obi-Wan had told him to run. He hadn’t wanted to, but he knew Obi-Wan had a better chance of taking the beast down than Cody did. Still, it didn’t mean Cody liked the idea. Whumpay Day 4

My thoughts: Poor Cody!!! 🥺 ooof, he so worried!!. LOVED it!!

twisting to the sun

By catboydogma @catboydogma

(EXPLICIT. Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Cunnilingus, PWP, Smut, Trans Obi-Wan Kenobi, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, Fluff)

Summary: Day 3 prompt: snowball fights are underrated foreplay. Activities: cunnilingus, fingering

My thoughts: OOOOHHH this was DELIGHTFULLY SaUCY and HOT!! 🥵 Cody is having the BEST time 🤤😏🥵

Only One Bed

By elismor_aswell @elismor

(TEEN. Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Fluff, Vacation, Codywan Sleep Bingo 2023, Only One Bed)

Summary: I mean, how could I not?

My thoughts: DELIGHTFULLY SOFT and cute.

(CODY/OBI-WAN/REX)

Yearning to be there

By little_dumpling @littledumplingwrites

(EXPLICIT. Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, [implied Cody/Obi-Wan/Rex, Obi-Wan/ Rex] Smut, Accidental Voyeurism, Masturbation, Fantasizing, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Partner sharing, Rex listens in)

Summary: A coda. Rex listens in to Cody and General Kenobi being intimate. He imagines himself taking Kenobi alongside Cody. Rex's POV from "Yearning for more".

My thoughts: HOT!!! Poor Rex is feeling very.... "nggghhhh 🥵🥵🥴🤤" delightful!!! 😁 (there is a fic before this of Cody/Obi-Wan's POV - Yearning for More which I gave a cheeky read, too 😏🥵)

(CLONESHIPPING)

War Games

By elismor_aswell @elismor

(GEN. Kix, CC-2224 | Cody, Rex, Kix is So Done, Clone Trooper Shenanigans (Star Wars)

Summary: They’ve obviously worked this part out already and Kix is grateful for the efficiency. He should have just started with these two in the first place.

My thoughts: BRILLIANT. FUNNY. DELIGHTFUL!!! Please read from the start of the series to get the Full Picture!!!! Part 3 of You Oughta Be In Pictures

Red Dawn

By elismor_aswell @elismor

(GEN. Kix, Fox, Thire, Thorn, Kix is So Done, Coruscant Guard, Clone Trooper Shenanigans, Triple Drabble - Part 4 of You Oughta Be In Pictures)

Summary: It’s going to work. These magnificent drunken bastards are going to pull it off.

My thoughts: Bahahahahah *giggles* just brilliant and hysterical.

Let us go singing Chapters 3/3 (all under 500 words)

By PetrifiedForests @petrifiedforests

(TEEN. Dogma/Tup, Music, Singing, Dancing and Singing, Kissing, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Vode An (Star Wars), Headaches & Migraines, Dancing, cloneshipping)

Summary: Three times Dogma and Tup sang. Three unrelated ficlets about singing lessons, nightmares and dancing.

My thoughts: oh my stars!! All the of these gave me SUCH FEEEEELINGS!!!!!!!! So soft and tender and then so SWEET!!!! Comment left on each of the 3 chapters.

an upside-down “spider-man” kiss - comet/wolffe

By loverboy_havocboy @loverboy-havocboy

(TEEN. Clone Trooper Comet/Wolffe, Trans Male Character, Trans Clone, Cloneshipping , Kissing)

Summary: Comet allows his eyes to slip shut and, for just a moment, nuzzles into the warm crook of Wolffe’s neck. Maybe the training’s not so bad.

My thoughts: awwwww just lovely!!!! Wolffe is so TENDER. *SQUEALS*

Red

By kristsune

(NOT RATED. Jesse/Kix, cloneshipping, angst angst angst, hurt/comfort, Kix is not doing well)

Summary: Kix has a bad week, Jesse helps bring him back to himself.

My thoughts: OW OW OW on my heart, but lovely COMFORT. 🥺🥺🥺🥹🥹🥹

(JANGO/OBI-WAN)

What Never Will Be

By Starofwinter @thebisexualmandalorian

(GEN. Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Night Terrors)

Summary: Obi-Wan wakes up screaming. That isn't a rare occurrence. Sometimes Obi-Wan has nightmares about what could have been.

My thoughts: oh my HEART... Jango is so SOFT and tender to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan’s fear is so well portrayed. 🥺

Tonight No One Knows

By unsealed jar (DinJarrin)

(EXPLICIT. Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Bondage, Masturbation, Possessive Jango Fett, Light objectification, Force Empathy used for kinky sex, Light Dom/sub, Dominant Jango Fett, Submissive Obi-Wan Kenobi, Aftercare)

Summary: Jango and Obi-Wan use the Force in ways not approved by the Council, namely triggering Obi-Wan's orgasm with Jango's.