#fullpcgue

unprompted positivity!

Truth is -- the Gallegher's never celebrated Christmas like normal people. Poor, south side, they did their own thing and had their own traditions. Trying to make it as normal to any other family as possible but it's not easy to do when the parents are lacking parental skills, an older sister trying to keep everyone in line. Lip tries to help, but sometimes Lip needs to put back into the line as well.

So as he's huddled in his jacket he keeps his head up , just staring up even as Kiara comes over. No doubt she is going to ask what he's doing but he won't answer right away, then he's going to let his gaze come down to her.

❝ Ah, what the hell.❞

Topper sits silently as he listens to Sarah. Part of him wants to believe her, a big part of him really does. The fact that he loved her and he still does. Despite everything, he's still in love with Sarah.

But the fact is she chose John B over him over and over again. And she used him - used his feelings for her to get him to help her in situations he never wanted to be a part of. But for her he'd do anything and he did ; but at what cost?

" Sarah ... " He shakes his head slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. More than anything he wants to lay into her, tell her off, tell her to go away and never come back around him. It'd be wiser, safer, smarter. But he doesn't do that.

" ... I forgive you. " he says softly. " It's in the past."

Though for Topper, it's still very much his present.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑱𝑱'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒕 as he blew out smoke from between his lips, the join in his fingers being flicked as he looks to Sarah. ❝ That's bullshit. ❞ he informs her. ❝ I know. It's written all over your face. Your fake smile, the look in your eyes...❞ he shakes his head, though he gives her a hint of a crooked smile before he passes off the joint to her. ❝ You can try to fool everyone else, but you can't fool me with that shit, babe. You're talking to the fucking master. ❞

Though why doesn't he ask, because if she wants to talk about it he wants her to come to him, or go to John B, even Kiara. He isn't about to pry when he's not sure he's allowed into those thoughts or not. But since she mentioned it...

❝ So you wanna talk about it ? ❞

Their history had jagged pieces, none of which fit the puzzle anymore. It's safe to say that it'd be easy to inflict a cut or two with the remnants of what they once had. It isn't to say that it once wasn't special as it always is at the start.

But now ? The 'what ifs' are tainted with a darkness with no cracks of light in it.

Whatever it was that closed that chapter for them closed it tight. Yet as he watches her from the other side of the room he can't help but feel a familiar feeling. That flicker of happiness he had with her that seems to slowly be fading out the longer time goes on. It's not the same and he knows it -- and chances are it'll never be the same again. So he pushes through and forces a smile ; cocky as it is.

" Still playing pretend, Kiara ? " he asks. " I don't get it, you have the whole world at your fingertips and you choose..." He glances toward her new group of friends. " - them."