#fullmetalruby

(It starts with Kiba following his sister’s path, and while he is very good at following he has always followed Hana a few steps behind and to the left.)

Naruto has always been on the fence about this whole “law” thing. Sometimes statues need to be defaced. Sometimes people need to get embarrassed in public. Sometime in his youth Naruto decided that “vandalism” and “public disturbance” are just things cops made up to take the fun out of life.

But that said, Naruto is usually alone in the police station at 1:15 AM, save for whatever unfortunate cop was stuck on what he knows to be called “Naruto Watch” while they wait for Kakashi to come pick him up.

Instead of solitude, Naruto finds himself staring down Kiba Inuzuka.

He’s not about to pretend that Kiba isn’t a bit threatening: Kiba is the same age as Naruto, 16, and has been wearing leather jackets and multiple ear piercings since before Naruto even met him. It might just be the fact that Naruto’s been awake since 4:30 this morning, but he could almost swear that the leather jacket is moving and making noise.

Kiba looks fit to murder, and from the look on Mrs. Inuzuka’s face when she shows up to get Kiba, it’s either a resting murder face or murder is an inherited hobby.

“What did you do?” She demands, grabbing Kiba by the ear and hoisting him out of his seat like a ragdoll.

Officer Whatshisnuts over behind the desk hands Mrs. Inuzuka the report without even asking. Is Kiba a repeat offender too, and has Naruto just never seen him before? Either way, his mom skims the report, never letting go of her son, and eventually snaps it shut.

She turns to Kiba. “Come on. Home.”

Kiba makes dead eye contact with Naruto on his way out, and he fights to not shiver.

In the end, Kakashi doesn’t actually make it to the station until after 2. Judging by the shirt he’s wearing (which, if going by the size, isn’t his), the expression on his face, and the blooming hickeys on his neck, the officer– who Naruto has learned is new to this precinct and is named Yahiko– interrupted an impromptu date night with his squeeze of the week.

Serves the guy right. By this point, Kakashi should know better than to think he can get anything done at night during a school break.

“Tell me, was it vandalism, public disturbance, or harassment this time?” Kakashi snarks as he waits for Yahiko to process Naruto’s release. “You’ve been inconsistent lately.”

“Breaking and entering,” Naruto answers without hesitation. “And vandalism, but that’s beyond the point.”

Kakashi fixes Naruto with a Look, turns away, then starts gossiping with Yahiko. It becomes quickly apparent that Kakashi is flirting. Also apparent is Yahiko’s reciprocation.

“Kashi, I wanna go home. It’s late,” Naruto says, tugging on his cousin’s sleeve.

The older man doesn’t skip a beat. “Suffer,” he intones, and Naruto picks Kakashi’s pocket for his phone. Predictably, Kakashi doesn’t have Sasuke in his contacts, but Naruto memorized Sasuke’s number ages ago.

“I don’t know what’s more pathetic,” Sasuke opens. “That you’re calling me at half past two in the morning, or that I picked up.”

“Definitely that you picked up,” Sakura says from the side, because of course she’s there too. “Or that Naruto is calling from the contact Sasuke has saved as ‘Naruto got arrested again’. What’s up with that?”

“I’m on Kakashi’s phone. Mine is still in evidence somewhere.”

Sasuke hums. “Was it vandalism or public disturbance?” he asks.

Naruto huffs. “I really wish people would stop asking that. I’m not that predictable.”

“Yes you are,” Sasuke and Sakura chorus. Naruto wants to be insulted with how prompt their answer was, but he really can’t.

“Whatever. I’m not gonna ask what you two are doing together after midnight on a weekday. But I’ll tell you that after I got picked up for breaking and entering–” Naruto stresses the new offense– “you guys will never guess who I met at the station.”

Sakura makes a contemplative sound. “Was it Shika and Chouji again? I think Ino said something about getting blazed in the park tonight.”

Somehow, Naruto gets the impression that Ino only told Sakura because she was pissed about being the designated sober person at that particular party, though that thought may come from the fact that he watched Ino hurrying the boys past the station at about 1:30.

“Nah. I saw them, though. Try again.”

“Was Sai vandalizing buildings again?” Sasuke groans. “He’s not home and Obito’s going spare.”

“If your cousin got arrested, then he wasn’t brought here. No, I saw Kiba Inuzuka.”

For a moment, the other end of the line is silent. “You saw him and survived?” Sakura asks. “Last time I heard, he switched classes for like, the third time because he kept getting into fights.”

“What did he do to get arrested?”

Naruto picks at a hangnail. “I dunno. The officer just handed Missus Inuzuka the file and she walked away.”

Sasuke groans. “Well, was he covered in blood or anything?”

“Not so much blood, more like, dirt and animal hair. I think that’s normal?” Naruto says. “I think he had more piercings than last time I saw him, but it’s been a hot sec.”

“Well, if there’s nothing really interesting that went on tonight, Sasuke and I should go back to studying. And you should gank Kakashi’s car keys and go home. You need sleep,” Sakura states, mother-henning him as always.

“You say that like I need sleep more than you do, Sak.”

Sasuke snorts. “Sleep is for people who don’t want a hundred percent. Goodnight, Naruto.”

Then, like a bastard, he hangs up. Asshole. Whatever. Kakashi needs sleep just as much as Naruto does, and if he’s forgotten that then Naruto is very good at reminding him.

He returns Kakashi’s phone to his cousin’s pocket without ceremony. Kakashi peers down at him with his real eye. “And what did Sasuke and Sakura have to say about your near-death experience with the opposing six-year-old?”

“If I’m eight then you’re only twenty, and that means you can’t buy alcohol. And, they said to make you take me home because it’s late and I need to go to bed.”

Kakashi hums. “Fair point. toddlers get cranky when they’re tired, after all.” He turns to Yahiko and smiles at him through the surgical mask. “Could I get my dear, sweet little cousin’s things, Yahiko? He needs his beauty sleep.”

Yahiko nods quickly, and soon enough Kakashi has not only Naruto’s belongings in hand, but a little slip of paper with Yahiko’s number on it too, and then they make their way home.

Naruto shreds Yahiko’s number, but Kakashi has already arranged a date.

Given that he doesn’t remember very much about Kiba, Naruto asks Ino the next day at lunch.

(Okay, yeah, Ino is technically Sakura’s friend and not Naruto’s, but she’s also the biggest source of information for anyone who needs to know anything on campus.)

For a moment she stares at him like he’s grown an extra head, then she squints like she’s remembering seeing Naruto through the station door, and finally she demands to copy his Spanish homework before he gets another word out of her.

“Okay. What do you want to know?” She asks once she’s finished stealing his answers.

Naruto leans forward. “Anything and everything you can tell me about Kiba Inuzuka.”

She taps her chin with her eraser. “Well, he gets in trouble a lot. Fights, you know? Also breaking and entering, stealing, all that fun stuff. He doesn’t get expelled because admin is more scared of his mom than they are of like, all the other parents combined, and also she might be banging Principal Senju? I dunno, sources are murky on that. But like, I guess it started when his sister went off to college, but that’s when he stopped hanging out with me, so I don’t have the real deets there.”

He kinda feels like this is going to be on a test somewhere– why does Kiba Inuzuka act the way he does? Because a) his sister left, b) his father was killed by a six-fingered man, c)…– but instead of taking notes Naruto just nods along and tries to commit it to memory.

“He sticks to the yard during lunch, always sits in the back of the classroom and all that. The only people I ever see him hanging around are Shino and Hinata, and sometimes that Sabakuno kid,” Ino continues.

Gaara? Wait, no, Gaara has a brother, and Kankurou is much more the type of person who would want to hang out around a guy like Kiba. Not to mention that Ino wouldn’t be caught dead referring to Temari as “that Sabakuno kid” when she knows that Temari has ears like a bat and fists like lightning.

Ino rocks back in her chair. “That’s about all I can think of right now. Proofread my Spanish essay due tomorrow and I’ll see what else I can dig up.”

“No thanks,” Naruto says. Not that he doesn’t want more info on Kiba, but he’s shit at essays and his edits are only going to lower her overall grade.

He retreats to Sasuke and Sakura, placated with this new knowledge.

It takes a hot sec for fate to throw Naruto and Kiba together again, but in the end she does her work and, at 9:45 PM on a Saturday, Naruto ends up waiting for the bus under the same awning as Kiba.

Both of them are silent as they wait and Kiba is brooding, clutching something in a cloth bag close to his chest. Naruto rocks back on his heels. He debates whistling, but he’s hiding from the cops right now– Kakashi’s been ghosting the shit out of Yahiko, who probably should have known better than to put out on a first date with a man who was sporting hickeys and someone else’s shirt when they met, and he’s made it clear that if he has to go pick up Naruto while Yahiko is on shift again then he’s sending Gai– and sound isn’t conducive to remaining unarrested.

When the bus comes, it’s empty except for the driver. The driver looks ready to keel over, so Naruto just scans his bus pass and moves to the back. Kiba follows.

They don’t say a word to each other for an uncomfortable few minutes, but that’s when Naruto decides that if Kiba didn’t want to talk, he wouldn’t have sat so close to Naruto on an empty bus.

He peers at the bag out of the corner of his eye. “So,” he drawls, extending the vowel further than necessary. “How’s about that weather?”

Kiba glares at him. “It’s pouring rain, and the forecast says it’s supposed to start snowing tomorrow. How do you think I feel about the weather?

Naruto shrugs. “Some people like the snow.”

Kiba moves suddenly, closer to Naruto than he’d like in an instant. Naruto starts praying. Then Kiba opens the bag in his arms, and Naruto closes his eyes, expecting some souvenir of murder–

Then, a tiny sound makes him look. The bag is full, not of severed fingers, but of five tiny, drenched kittens.

“Found ‘em on my way home from a friend’s house. Alley a few blocks back.” Kiba scratches the head of one of the kittens. “Little guys like these won’t survive in the snow, and I only have so much room at my house.”

“I’ll take one!” Naruto exclaims before he knows what he’s doing. Kakashi is going to kill him. Or maybe this will finally curb Kakashi’s boyfriend habit. Or maybe Kakashi’s dogs will kill the tiny creature.

Kakashi can’t get rid of what he doesn’t know about, Naruto’s mind supplies, and he smiles.

Kiba looks like he’s been slapped. “You want one?”

Nodding, Naruto reaches over and pets a red kitten. “And I can think of someone else who needs a cat too.”

“Do you even know how to take care of a cat?” Kiba asks incredulously.

Naruto pouts. “Of course I do. My parents used to have one, and my cousin has a few dogs. It’s not that different, right?”

Immediately, Kiba fluffs up like an animal on the defensive. “Not that different?”

And just like that, he launches into a lecture on proper cat care, and specifically proper kitten care. Naruto learns more in those ten minutes than he ever did in school, and by the end he’s kinda zoned out.

But fuck, has Kiba always been this pretty when he talks?

Not that Naruto has ever really watched Kiba talk before; they only ever exchanged a few words before Kiba stopped hanging out with most people, and this is the first conversation they’ve had since, but goddamn. Are all people this gorgeous when they get passionate, or it that just Kiba?

Yes, Naruto decides. Sakura gets like this when she talks about wrestling, and Sasuke is at his most ethereal when rambling about recent advancements in biochemistry. Maybe everyone is just pretty at all times.

After a while, Kiba just stops talking and makes a grabby motion at Naruto. “Gimme your phone. I’m just gonna text you all of this.”

Mutely, Naruto does so, and Kiba sends himself a text using Naruto’s phone. As soon as he has, he sets down the bag full of kittens on the seat between them, and Naruto is immediately drawn to a little red one.

Okay, so that’s the one he’s keeping for himself. Then he picks another, this time the tiniest of the litter, a black ball of fluff that hisses weakly at him when he tries to pick it up.

“He won’t hurt you. Their teeth can’t do much right now,” Kiba reassures. “It might sting a bit, but there’s no way he’ll break skin.”

Kiba spends the rest of the bus ride showing Naruto how to properly hold a kitten (“Supposedly there’s a right way to do this, but cats are essentially made of rubber so I wouldn’t be too worried. Just put them down when they squeak and you should be fine.”) and telling him about the best kinds of cat food.

Eventually, when Naruto’s stop draws near, he sticks a kitten into each inside pocket of his jacket and zips it up. Kiba looks at him funny, but doesn’t say anything, so as long Naruto’s careful to not bump into anything he figures he’ll be fine.

Naruto’s phone buzzes with a text from Kiba already. “Come by that address tomorrow morning, and I’ll hook you up with all the proper cat care equipment.”

The bus stop is about a block away from the apartment Naruto shares with Kakashi and his buddy Gai, and he spends the entire walk there trying to calm down and be inconspicuous.

It’s late enough that he almost expects Kakashi to already be asleep when he gets home, and he knows that Gai is always in bed at 9, so he lets himself in and tries to be quiet. The dogs don’t all maul him when he walks in, so he thinks that maybe they’ve already been put to bed–

Kakashi calls out a greeting from the living room. Damn.

He contemplates just going straight to his room and pretending that he didn’t hear his cousin, but decides in an instant that it would be a bad idea and proceeds to join Kakashi.

Bull immediately walks over to Naruto and ruts his head against Naruto’s hand and jacket, and one of the kittens in Naruto’s pocket lets out a tiny mewl.

Like a hawk on the hunt, Kakashi’s eyes narrow and he puts his book down. <span title=”This is a dog house.”>“Esta es una casa de perro.”</span>

<span title=”I know, but one of my classmates doesn’t have space at his house for all of them.”>“Lo sé, pero uno de mis compañeros no tiene espacio en su casa para todos ellos.”</span> Naruto hunched in on himself. He knew that this was the inevitable outcome. How long did he expect to keep a cat (or two) secret from a guy like Kakashi? <span title=”Besides, one of them is for Sasuke.”>“Además, uno de los gatitos es para Sasuke.”</span>

Kakashi groans. <span title=”That doesn’t make it any better. You still brought home two cats without asking.”>“Eso no lo hace mejor.Todavía trajiste a casa a dos gatos sin preguntar.”</span>

<span title=”It’s not like I can give them back now. I made a commitment.”>“No es como si los pudiera devolver ahora. Hice un compromiso.”</span> Naruto rebutts. Also it’s his only excuse to see Kiba again, which is something he’s interested in retaining.

Burying his face in his hands, Kakashi sighs. He doesn’t say anything, then sighs again. <span title=”I’ll bring it up with Gai in the morning.”>”Lo llevaré con Gai por la mañana.”</>

And Naruto knows he’s won: Gai will be on his side. If for no other reason than to disagree with Kakashi on something that won’t get him in trouble.

(Why aren’t Gai and Kakashi married already? Oh yeah, because Kakashi is an emotionally constipated twink who doesn’t know how to differentiate between love, lust, and friendship, and Gai is waiting for Kakashi to make the first move.

Idiots, both of them.)

He bids Kakashi goodnight, and retreats to his room before Kakashi can say anything else.

The next morning sees Naruto grabbing the two kittens from the sock drawer where they slept– he’s named the red one Kurama, but the black one is gonna be Sasuke’s so it’s yet nameless– plugging the address Kiba texted him into Google Maps, and borrowing Kakashi’s ugly mom van.

He probably should have figured it would be a pet supply store, but he’s still pleasantly surprised (disappointed?) when he arrives at Tsume’s Pet Supply. He had half been hoping it was Kiba’s house.

10:37 AM

Naruto to Kiba

Naruto: im here where r u

Kiba: come inside

The interior of the store is rows upon rows of different kinds of food, toys, bowls, leashes, and tiny outfits for every kind of pet that’s legal to own in the country and probably some that aren’t. Across one wall is an array of pens, each with an attendant or two and easily a dozen pets inside per employee.

One of the dog attendants is Kiba.

He looks radiant: the sun through the window opposite him is casting him in golden light and making him look like he’s been dipped in honey. His shaggy hair is pulled back, not into a ponytail but half of one, and his t-shirt in the warm interior of the store leaves his arms bare and actually fucking tattoos visible.

There, on Kiba’s bicep, Naruto can see a name inside a heart, but he can’t quite make out what the name is. Crawling up from his wrists are messes of vines in black or dark green. Small purple flowers peek out from between the tendrils– on his right, they’re lavender. On his left, indigo.

Is it possible to fall in love in twelve hours? No, of course not you idiot, says a voice that sounds suspiciously like Sasuke in the back of his head. Shut up Sasuke.

Kiba spots him and extracts himself from the mess of dogs he’d had in his lap. As quick as winking, Kiba is by Naruto’s side.

“I will admit, I did not expect you to actually show up, much less this early,” Kiba opens. “Did you bring the cats with you?”

Naruto nods. “I was hoping to take the second one to my friend right after this, so yeah.”

Kiba beckons Naruto to follow him further into the store, right to the cat section. He snags a cart on the way, and passes it to Naruto. “You’ll need this. You’re getting two of everything, right?”

Again, Naruto nods. Glancing at the prices on some of these items, he realizes that Sasuke is never getting another Christmas present from Naruto for the rest of his life.

Kiba loads the cart with what he deems to be the kitten essentials, and Naruto surreptitiously checks his account balance to see if he can afford all this. Probably? God he hopes so.

He ends up just barely being able to afford everything in his cart, and Naruto praises every god he can name.

“Are you dingle?” He blurts out just as Kiba is handing him his receipt.

Kiba raises an eyebrow. “Am I what?”

“Dingle! Ningle!” He takes a breath. “Single! Are you single!”

The other teen smiles. “Yeah. What about it?”

Seeing Kiba Inuzuka smile is like watching the sun rise, if the sun could literally bite your ear off and then probably howl over your corpse. Naruto never wants him to stop.

“Can I make you not single?” Naruto asks lamely.

Kiba’s grin grows wider, and he quickly scribbles something on the back of Naruto’s receipt. “Hell yeah you can.”

Sasuke answers his door to find his best friend looking blazed off his ass, and holding three large shopping backs and a kitten.

“Merry Christmas, sauce gay,” Naruto hums. “I got you a cat.”

He doesn’t know how to react. When did he ever say he wanted a cat? That said, he never said he didn’t want a cat, and to Naruto those things are synonymous, so Sasuke takes the fluffy black kitten from Naruto’s grasp and looks into it’s angry little eyes and immediately knows what to call it.

“It’s name is Madara,” he announces.

“What’s named Madara?” Obito asks, poking his head into the hallway.

Sasuke holds up the kitten. Obito starts to lose his shit. “You’re naming a cat after our great uncle?”

“Yeah? I don’t see your point.” Sasuke pulls Naruto into the house. “What’s got your head in the clouds?”

Naruto flops down on the recliner as soon as they enter Sasuke’s room. “I have a boyfriend now.”

Sasuke looks at Naruto, then at the bags he dropped next to Sasuke’s bed, then at the cat, then back to Naruto. “Naruto Uzumaki, tell me you’re not referring to the school delinquent Kiba Inuzuka. Please. For my own sanity.”

He has the decency to look a little bit ashamed of himself, then mimes zipping his lips shut.