#full explanation

Firstly, she has never stated that she was any of the things you all say she was, (victim) i did a deep dive on it, and i found absolutely nothing about it or her saying it.

Also, there is nothing saying that Hell Hill was about elita. I have also done a deep dive on it as well, and i found again nothing saying she stated that Hell Hill was about elita.

The part some people would hate, there is also NOTHING saying that Meat Monster is about elita. Hell Hill in general isn’t about elita, "but she-" Elita is a band. It’s run by 3 people, as we all know tim, john, and emma harvey, she has also never stated that the songs they make are about her.

The part that most people would REALLY hate, i think her being a victim was made up by a hypocritical elita fan, also Hell Hill was a word she used in her past. She knows exactly what she was doing.

Here’s a video explaining it (read with captions)

April foooooools 🥳

Hello Skid Anon, it's nice to see you again. I have closed requests until I feel safe on my blog again.

You remember how I had a little spat with @/thetownofbirds ? Well that further escalated when someone new stepped in to try to defend me. Another simple misunderstanding I fear. I'll try to link all of the posts that are related to this.

These are in order going down the line.

=

- me @ you  (could also be you @ Her but idk enough to say) 

          - so much of the lyrics hit home

          - “I’m scared/I’ve never fallen from quite this high into your ocean eyes”

                  - I don’t fall in love often but I do fall hard and for you its the hardest i   think

          - “You really know how to make me cry”

                    - Bestie you could break my heart harder than I can imagine and  yet you hold it so carefully

            - honestly all of them but those ones really stand out and worth  mentioning if you ever see this

- techno/rock fits v well into the playlist 

Oi, what is going on? D:

How is my semester going?

That's the question.

In one word: chaos.

I'm struggling so much with organization and getting everything done on time. I've missed two small assignments for two of my classes. I've given up trying to do the readings for my classes, because I'm just so focused on trying to complete the graded assignments.

I feel like I'm slacking as a partner. I'm not taking the initiative to do work like I normally do. I'm not performing my best, trying to stay on top of everything and get things done early. I'm bad at communicating and arranging times to get together with my partner, and I'm usually so responsible in that regard.

I don't feel as close to my students this semester as I did last semester. My students are younger, third grade, but they look and seem older. And although I'm in their classroom twice a week every week, I don't feel that I've gotten to know them all that well. My teacher works mostly through seat work and worksheets, so there's very little time for the students to really have a chance to socialize, work in groups, etc. Which means there's very little for me to help with or observe, ask questions about lessons, etc.

I'm trying so hard this semester to not have a mental breakdown like I did at the end of last semester (which ended with a trip to the local hospital in the back of a police vehicle), but it means that my grades and my work aren't as good. I made Dean's List last semester. That isn't going to happen this time around. And I'm afraid my GPA will plummet because of it.

I had all these plans to do other things this semester as well. Go to more of the Cardio Hoop Dance Club. Go to the Blue Pen Society. Write more. Really focus on my play. Star in Much Ado About Nothing. But I can barely keep my head above water as it is.

It doesn't help that I've had several ear infections since November, this awful, painful-gives-me-a-headache chest-full-of-mucus cough is back, which has been on and off for months. And there's nothing I can do about it. And I don't know why it's happening. And I've gained more weight, which my mother deems unhealthy, but I don't know if I'm too lazy or too depressed to do anything about it.

I've also come to the realization that if I don't nip this in the bud right now, I may develop a drinking problem. And so I am determined to not have that happen. I haven't had anything to drink in a month (minus a few sips of champagne and orange juice on Easter...) and I want to keep it that way, I think. I think I'm much better off not drinking at parties or anything of the sort. 

Other than all of that...I'm still single, I'm still not having sex like I want to. I think it's best for me to not be in a relationship right now because I legit don't have the time for one, and I would be a shit girlfriend because I'm really self-centered right now, and that's where I need to be. But I want that closeness with having someone who cares that much about you, who you can show off and let people know that you aren't the disgusting cow everyone thought you were in high school. But, again...I would be a shit girlfriend.

I'm back in therapy (which I think you knew already), although I haven't seen her in over a month. I'm not quite sure when, but it's been a while. Which isn't good. I forgot to schedule an appointment with her during my last one, and then things happened and popped up and it's been a month. Over a month. I'm so fucked. I'm seeing her on Friday, so hopefully we'll talk a lot of things out. Maybe we could talk for two hours instead of one.

I've got a possible job lined up for this summer, but I'm still waiting to hear back from them. And depending on if I get the job, I may or may not be taking that birthday trip to New Orleans with my parents. But I desperately need the money, because I'm really fucking broke.

I've made some new friends, which is good. And although I'm not constantly in a state of downward spiraling depression, I could definitely be better. Much better. I'm not doing awful, but this semester is complete and utter shit, and I hate that I have to go through it. I don't think I can make it until the end of the semester, although that's only 32 days away. It feels like forever.