#full colectomy

I don't ever write these long posts but this is kind of a big deal and I think I'm entitled. If you've spoken to me (or my parents) at all recently, this is old news for you, but for those of you who are hanging out on the sidelines, here's the official update on my life. Gonna try to keep it short and sweet, but there will probably be a TLDR at the end anyway. Item #1: I'm taking a year off of school to focus on my physical health situation. Item #2: A week from today I'll be in the hospital, hopefully doped up on copious amounts of pain meds after successfully completing the first of a series of three colorectal surgeries. Item #3: I'm having my colon removed, ladies and germs. After two years of struggling to find a medical therapy that would push my ulcerative colitis into remission, I've hit a wall. Unfortunately, I'm out of options short of hiring a witch doctor and a full colectomy has become "inevitable." If nothing else, though, at least I can say I tried. I gave my body a fighting chance and I did what I could to hang onto my large intestine. The thing is though, medicine isn't perfect and while research is still being conducted and new drugs are being developed, the reality of the situation is that I can't live my life this way. In addition to dealing with the inconvenience and anxiety associated with frequent bathroom visits, I've been battling overwhelming fatigue, exhaustion, pain, malnourishment, weakness -- you name it. I like to think I carry myself well and that I put on a brave face with my 3.5 GPA and my smiley summer travel photos but I've been on high doses of corticosteroids for the entirety of these past two years with the exception of a few stray months. In addition to the symptoms of my colitis, the side effects of these meds have been completely destroying me. Give that a quick Google if you feel so inclined. But to stay on prednisone long-term could potentially have life-threatening consequences and I'm not having it. They don't help nearly as much as they hurt and after all this time, I'm tired. I'm sick and tired and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. And as scary as surgery (and the pending recovery) is, I've been equally afraid of living an incomplete life. At nineteen years old, to feel this trapped in your own body, trapped in bed while your friends grow, to feel as if there's no way out... it's crushing. I've been crushed by my IBD. And that's okay. These surgeries are going to help me take my life back. Yeah, I'll have an ileostomy for six months and I'll be in pain frequently and I'll be stuck in bed again, but at the end of it all, I'll be pain-free. I'll be able to eat without worrying so much about what'll happen when I do. I'll be able to exercise without feeling faint. I'll be able to sleep through the night for the first time in months, go on roadtrips, focus on what actually matters to me instead of only what requires my immediate attention. I'll be able to do so many things I long since gave up hope of doing. I'll be a new woman, essentially: a new woman given the promise of a more fulfilling life. What a gift that is. Item #4: I'm more terrified than I've ever been. Item #5: I'm more hopeful than I've ever been. TLDR; I'm having my colon taken out. It's scary as all hell, but I'm gonna be so much better off by the time summer rolls around. (Also gimme Netflix recs, pls & thx.)

lastnight i was just thinking and i thought i'd offer my advice to people. i'm amber and i'm 18 years old :) in 2010 i was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. i was put on many medications, remicade everything and nothing worked. the only temporary fix was prednisone and i was up to 60 mgs of it. there was literally never a day i wasn't sick. i almost failed highschool because of my illness. in october 2011 i had a major flare up which landed me in the hospital for over a week. they told me basically the only choice i had to get better was a total colectomy. it wasn't permanent but it's still something i didn't want to hear. i literally told the doctor i'd rather die then get a ostomy bag. i went home from the hospital and i literally stayed home for two months straight. i lost my friends and my social life due to the anxiety of going out and dealing with my problems in public. i also had to quit my job and rely on my family to support me. finally after two months i opted for surgery. i did tons of research on the computer. all i found was horror stories which made me extremely scared and fearfull of my surgery. this is basically my important advice: don't ever be scared. i got my surgery on december 12th 2011 and it's now the end of march. i literally was on my feet walking after a week and i was back to work after a month. everything is so much easier with the ostomy bag. i mean, it's obviously not very ideal but there are very little things in which i can't do. i have incredible energy now, i can eat anything i want without pain, i'm on no medication, i work out everyday and i'm employed again! i can go out in public anytime i want without anxiety and beleive it or not the ostomy bag is easy to hide, no one ever could guess. the the negative things you read on the internet are from negative people, and that's it. i would rather have an ostomy bag than feel pain everyday of my life. if your in a tough spot and your contemplating the surgery, and your qaulity of life at the moment isn't satisfactual i suggest getting the surgery. it's amazing. if anyone has any questions about the surgery or anything i'll be glad to answer :)   p.s i went to my surgeon a few weeks ago to book my reversal and i actually declined! i told him i'd call him in a year! that's how great i feel!