#fuckyouproject

The stitch that holds my identity has been unraveling twisting--tearing from the fibers of my being. the pigment in my hue causes disdain among the distain. from the exports of my cotton to the imports of my hemp, lays the ground work to my textured soul.

Not wearing a bra means I get a lot of looks. It used to bother me how much other people cared about the presence of two little dots poking out of my shirt. Now I don't give a shit. Look if you want. We all have them, let's liberate them.

The act of taming to fit some status quo is, at this point, regressive. It gets us nowhere beyond where we've always been. This project helped me to realize this and to further celebrate and embody the power that has always existed within me, that exists within all women. Though my hair acts as a symbol of resistance, of empowerment, of taking up space, it is in the active process of engaging deeper with myself and with others, in speaking up and out (even where there is little or no room to do so), where I find the truest form of liberation.

Really resonated with this photo project as it perfectly aligns with the narrative of my thesis work. Especially this piece. Read that fine print. #fuckyouproject (at Impact Hub Oakland)

As an Iraqi-American woman, I’ve always received mixed messages about how a woman is “supposed” to be. It’s confusing and defeating, and it stifles who we really are. I try to tune out the noise and listen to my own truth, forge my own path somewhere in the middle. I find solace there. I think about the women who came before me who had to do the same thing and I find strength in that.

Growing up, people always criticized the way I speak. I talked too much, too loudly, or nobody wanted to hear me speak. Now I'm a comedian and I still struggle with those insecurities. I still talk a lot, and too loudly. But now I think that if you don't want to hear me talk, you're the one who's missing out. I have a lot to say.

Mental illness is an extremely large part of my life - it’s something that’s heavily shaped my personality, is still present and active, and dictates much of what I do. I’ve struggled with it for the majority of my life and through and through, have been met with either apathy or disgust. I do my best to explain that I have major depressive disorder and complex-PTSD so that people have an understanding of who I am and why I behave in particular manners, in hopes that they will be accepting of me and my behaviors. Despite my efforts to clarify who I am (which requires an unnecessarily huge amount of energy), particularly when I talk about my specific disorders, people choose either not to listen or act as an authority figure on the subject, especially if they have never personally experienced mental illness. Frequently, and now expectantly, I hear, “You should exercise more”, “You should change your diet”, “Get some more sun”, “Have you sought professional help?”, etc., without them even thinking I’ve tried or am already actively doing these things. I’m pushing for people to be less ignorant on the subject and more accepting of it and those affected, mostly because people deserve to be able to accept themselves without shame. Though personally, I’ve come to this conclusion: fuck people that expect me to be this perfect little-unsullied princess, I am imperfect and it’s okay.

Just because I prefer a skirt to jeans doesn’t mean I’m a damsel in distress. I’m a producer, I get shit done. My femininity is part of my strength, not my weakness.