#fuckwhat

SPOILER ALERT

So I forced my friend (someone who doesn’t watch anime, never even heard of Attack on Titan where the fuck has he been living all this time) to watch snk with me. He’s very brilliant though and has good intuition.

These are all his thoughts:

EREN’S MOM GETS EATEN

Friend: He ate her like a goddamn burger! *laughs*

Okay maybe that one’s inappropriate

BABY EREN SWEARS TO EXTERMINATE THE TITANS

Friend: At this rate he’s gonna turn into the things he hates the most [titans]

Me: *in my head* what the fuck

EREN IS EATEN

Friend: What the fuck? How many episodes did you say this was again?

Me: 25

Friend: Some miraculous shit is gonna happen. There’s no way he’s dead man.

THE MALE TITAN SHOWS UP WHEN MIKASA WAS WEEPING AND PUNCHED THE FUCK OUT THAT 14 METER CLASS

Friend: Ooooo that one’s special. Must be the same as that Armored Titan and Colossus Titan. *looks closer and sees the green eyes* *stares at me blankly* That one’s Eren isn’t it

LEVI KICKS EREN AT THE COURT

Friend: Good. If he does that he’ll prove to the mpb that he can control Eren so that they wouldn’t kill him. He’ll use him for the survey corps.

SONNY AND BEAN DIES AND ERWIN ASKS EREN WHO HE THINKS DID IT

Friend: The one who killed them is most likely a member of the 104th cadets.

Me: Why do you think that?

Friend: A spy, someone who knew about Eren’s transformation…

THE FEMALE TITAN SHOWS UP

Friend: she’s weird. Must be like Eren. Who’re the characters that have blonde hair again?

Me: Errr *starts to get nervous about how close he is to the answers* Armin, Krista, Erwin, Annie, Reiner.

Friend: *continues watching* Well, all of them are out. They’re in human form. I don’t think they’re the female titan. Except for Annie. Yeah, assuming [the female titan] is like Eren, that one’s Annie.

Friend: She fights good too. As far as I’m concerned the only people who can beat Eren in hand to hand combat is Annie. Maybe Mikasa too. But she’s too smitten to actually even dare slam Eren down the ground.

Friend: You know… if you think about it tho that Armored Titan and the Colossus Titan might just be like Eren and the Female Titan. *laughing* the colossus one might just be a really tall person and the armored one a big, muscled guy.

Me: *chokes*

FEMALE TITAN IS EXPOSED

Friend: *sarcastically* If this continues, I’ll start to think that every titan shifter is in 104th training squad. Dammit, I’m actually thinking that Bertholdt’s the colossus one and Reiner’s the armored one.

Me: *sweating* Why do you think that?

Friend: *looks at me seriously* The hair is always a give away. The eyes too. The build. Bertholdt’s the tallest, right? Reiner’s the brawniest. *shrugs* maybe im wrong tho…

Me: *tries not to scream*

Me years from now writing my dissertation