#fucksake

this kind of "never touch it ever once" fearmongering of drugs is not helpful and plays heavily into societal fearmongering of mental illness in general.

you will never be certain of your family history of mental illness or how you personally will respond to drugs.

the correct advice is always if you're going to try them, to try them first in moderation & with trusted people; to be aware of exactly what it is you're taking & how it's supposed to impact you; potential negative side effects to watch for & yes, your personal potential risk factors (family history, current physical and mental health, interactions with medications you are on, etc.).

schizophrenia and psychosis are not death sentences that need to be avoided at all cost. your life is not over if you develop psychotic symptoms. it happens to many many people regardless of family history regardless of drug use. the right combination of stressors can snap anyone. they are distressing conditions to experience, yes, but they can be managed, and you will be better off if you go into your drug experience aware of the possibility and understanding that it's not something to be absolutely terrified of.

yes, drugs can be a stressor on the brain, and it is important to decide within yourself whether you think you're up for it. however, they can also be a relaxant. my schizophrenic uncle was prescribed marijuana to manage his hallucinations and tone down his cruel intrusive voices. I use it to tone down my ocd intrusive thoughts. weed is not the "breaks open the head of every person with the potential for psychosis" drug. there is not a drug that does this.

it is good to be cautious. it is not good to be so afraid of drugs or mental illness that it keeps you from seeing the truth of the matter. if anything, the anxiety and fear of these issues is only going to put more stressors into your brain and make a break more likely. if it's an overwhelming concern you have, educate yourself about the reality of both drugs AND psychosis, and relax a little.

much more important than "not even once" is knowing yourself, being aware of your mental state and situation, knowing what you need/want from your experience with drugs, and knowing what you should expect from the experience.

if, in the days weeks or even months after the experience, you feel weird or wrong or are worried for any reason, there is no shame in going to your doctor to ask for help. FYI, a doctor (or other mental health service) should never report drug use to the cops, if that's something you're afraid of.

if some kind of psychotic break is triggered in the moment, that's deeply unfortunate. but it is ALWAYS a risk with any drug and any person. it can happen with alcohol it can happen with fuckin coffee if you're in the wrong mood. this is why we have trip sitters when you're trying something (especially a hallucinogen) for the first time. and again, if it does happen, you're life isn't over. if it becomes an ongoing condition, this is something that can be managed.

At least my razor doesn't think I'm a bad person.