Rant #1
I should have known it was time to let go when I had to resort to wikihow to verify theĀ āsigns of an emotionally abusive relationshipā.
I should have known to let go, when he nearly hit me, and I justified him to myself, saying,āhe hasnāt hit you yet.ā
Or maybe I should have let go when the apologies started coming more often, or when I went from crying myself to sleep at night to contemplating if it really would all be so much simpler if I threw myself under the bus.Ā
But I didnāt let go. Not for the longest time.
How could I, when I loved the way his arms held me when I cried, my heart never wanting to let go of his warmth. When heād travel two hours just to have a coffee with me, saying I missed you, I had to come.Ā
How could I have let go, when for so long he was my Good Morning, and my Good Night, and everything in between.
How could I let go when letting go would mean giving away the huge part of myself that would not survive without him?
I did walk away, eventually.Ā
Do I still cry myself to sleep at night?
Yes. Yes, I do.
