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computer dying too. hard drive, causes crashes often. crashed 13 times today. trying to move most important 100 GiB off of it. opening tumblr likely to crash it so i am currently living dangerously
okay it's 14 now my computer crashed in the middle of writing this post. luckily tumblr autosave is very aggressive
idk when i'll get a new phone or new hard drive i can't even get mail here lol. uhh things i was gonna say on other posts either comments or tags but my crashes ate them (i also got locked out of my account for a while):
(of course my laptop crashed four times in the span of 8 minutes while writing the belowā)
i do not find the labels āhypersexualā and āasexualā contradictory and indeed i use both of them myself.
ā first of all, i am sex-repulsed in most ways but i still often propose to have sex with various people i like enough to want to do a favour for, just because it was the very first thing i ever internalised as a way for me to provide value to someone, and it's kind of stuck. (i've mostly stopped doing this because sex has gotten much more physically demanding and annoying for me to perform.) (paradoxically if someone agrees with me about my performance of sex being an intrinsically important component of my worth, i will not like them in the first place much less want to do them any favours much less perform sex for them.) (i'm not that good at it anyway.)
ā second of all i find that the list of things that i appreciate aesthetically in general and the list of things that i can jerk off to are the same list. for a given thing i might find that it has more aesthetic appeal or more sexual appeal, but the qualitative distinction between the two sorts of appreciation is very thin and ambiguous. hence i call all of my aesthetic attractions āparaphiliasā regardless of how often they feature as a component in my sexual fantasies. that said my sexual fantasies are Fucked Up even by pervert standards anyway. when i find something both strongly aesthetically attractive and strongly sexually attractive i tend to call it āpoetic.ā poetic things are usually strongly connected to death and pain for me and not much at all to sex. overall i treat sexual attraction and sexualisation as more of a Capability of mine than a Trait the way most people think of these things. sure, i can get into that. left to my own devices, i am perverted but also repetitive and boring. it is this uncertainty and limitless potential, that makes me feel like i am a pervert about everything.
there was some post or other analysing how stuff like trans puppygirls come about because trans girls aren't loved enough so they form fantasies about having their needs met and being loved and so on. i've seen other variations of this post before. i find it to be an accurate assessment of the situation but delivered in a rather patronising and pathologising manner. which come to think of it tends to describe tumblr in general but w/e. my reaction to this would be poorly formatted as a bullet point and i think tumblr isn't having any of it anyway so i'll just put it below.
in general i find it annoying at best when someone has a very specific idea of what The Good Life is and then decides that your life is wrong because you haven't been living it. and oh, they'd like to help you so much to fix it, but you must adopt their idea of The Good Lifeā¦ this time, you see, it's based in Science and Psychology, that you should want such things, so they're Objectively Correct. now where have i heard that before?
regardless like i said i don't really disagree in general. i do think however that it doesn't get to the core of the issue. it is plainly obvious to almost anyone that the appeal of being e.g. a puppygirl is that you give up your agency in exchange for having your needs met and barely conditional affection and compassion. which sounds like a sweet deal for someone who is tired of being forced to solve their own problems, tired of not having their needs met, and tired of not receiving affection. i wouldn't immediately label it āloveā the way most people do (āloveā is a brand and an ideology; you can have a lot of different affectionate and compassionate feelings towards and interactions with someone without subscribing to āloveā) but we can agree on the basic nature of the thing.
it's just that: being forced to solve your own problems, not having your needs met, and lacking compassion from others is an experience a lot of minorities have. including pretty much all trans people. (there are people on this website who seem to think that there is some easily identifiable subset of trans people that just have everything handed to them; i can attest that the closest thing to this is first-world trans people and they still seem to have loads of issues, as tumblr shows. so these problems are effectively universal. although i can also attest that outside the first world you are usually also distracted by even worse problems.) you would expect puppypersonhood to be much more widespread, if it were only about that. practically everyone poor would have a puppy fantasy.
some of it is cultural, sure, but i think that misses the mark too; i have met trans people with very little exposure to internet culture or western + exported japanese culture who think the same way (within their cultural understanding of being something that someone else adores and cares for; puppygirls are not a cultural universal but puppies in the general sense almost are). i have met trans people who are violently alienated by exactly the above sorts of culture who still think the same way.
i wasn't going to bring up dpd because it barely says anything. it is essentially the dsm diagnosis for puppy-eqsue feelings, interpreted as a personality disorder. i give tumblr shit for being patronising and pathologising but the dsm outplays tumblr and it plays to win. it is simply impossible to beat the dsm at pathologising stuff. anyhow i view my dpd-coded symptoms as traumagenic and therefore super boring. sure, my parent cultivated absolute dependence on them in my childhood. there is no real mystery about how that affected my ability to be independent later. i used to have a literal owner and that owner was my God, who had absolute dominion over my body and mind and did not conceive of me as an object with limitations on its means or duration or frequency of usage. any attempt i made to form a sense of personhood blew away like a puff of smoke in the wind and i existed entirely in relation to what they wanted to do with my body. no wonder later in life i would find it hard to think of myself any other way. who cares? you've heard it a million times.
(i don't view this as the reason for my inalienable lack of agency; i think traumagenic lack of agency and personhood is something someone can recover from. my current experience of my lack of agency and personhood relates more to feeling that nothing is real, feeling that none of my thoughts are my own or clearly discernible, and my lack of directly experiencing my experiences in general. this is more characteristic of schizospectrality, admittedly described the way they are, they just sound like generic dissociative symptoms anyhow; but for me they feel closely tied to my haphazard way of thinking about abstract concepts and my psychosis. all these threads are ultimately inextricable, and segmenting pieces of neurotypes into neat independent diagnostic boxes is a farce anyhow.)
well that got off track. we are no closer to solving where puppies come from really. i wasn't expecting to solve it. i just think the problem deserves more careful consideration than āwell it's because of a certain type of really common trauma.ā what makes it a gender thing, for one thing?
here's one idea. i think actually the tumblr post is superfluous. and it is mostly obvious to puppygirls &c that it is a bandage for that certain type of trauma. (it's the only context i've ever seen people talk about mechsploitation in, for example.) i think everyone is really self-aware about it and don't need to be told what it is they like about being a puppygirl. i think posts like that one are really easy to make because everything in them is obvious.
and with this self-awareness of their own trauma, people want to connect their trauma to their identity. a lot of minorities do this but it is especially attractive for transfems, who are often told that they cannot be women, because women suffer unique traumas that they are not party to. and so being a puppygirl is a way of bandaging the vaguely cis woman-coded trauma while also displaying it. āsee? i was hurt, the way women tend to be. i am in recovery, from being hurt. this is both my reward and my proof.ā
needless to say i am very in favour of this sort of behaviour. in personal settings, i am fiercely defencive of it. (on social media i don't really care. there's too many of you.) you get to choose how you relate toā¦ ātraumaā is such a trite word. you get to choose how you relate to everything that ever happened to you. people want you to feel Bad about your trauma, and to Put Yourself Past It, and whatever. because they think they have that shit figured out and they're annoyed if you react any differently. people judge whether you have assessed your life accurately, according to their own bullshit subjective sense of reality.
i bet you already know you don't need to have trauma to be a woman. i bet you already know there is nothing at all essential to any particular gender, and no universally correct way of relating to trauma. i bet you are doing this for the love of the game. i bet you can very eloquently reject transphobic and transmisogynistic logic out loud, and if you are ever appeasing it, it is either strategic or it is due to a set of internalised feelings that you find it very hard to get rid of and you are aware of the nature of. i bet that the circumstances that made you like being a puppygirl don't explain who you are, just what happened to you. i bet who you are is more important to you, than what happened to you.
eh i sound so confident but it's just a guess. based on, i dunno, projection and shit. i just don't think we're giving the puppygirls enough credit. despite the core tenets of puppy-ness, they seem like smart people who are as good at assessing their feelings and deciding what to think of and do about them as anyone else. better, even, since there's a bar of introspection to clear, before one declares oneself [āqueerā would rhyme but ātransā is more accurate]
I was rewatching HLVRAI and started thinking about my swap au that I kinda forgot about.
Specifically I was thinking mostly about the au's Gordon.
So.... here's some hcs that have been rattling around in my head about that au.
- You know how Coomer cuts in on his own dialogue with "Look Gordon, a rope! We can use these to traverse large pits!" Because he's an ai?
Well, in this Au, Coomer's actress still does that as a bit. But it's Gordon who, whenever Coomer says that, will without fail respond with something along the lines of " Great Idea! I'll keep that in mind!" It pisses Gordon off endlessly because he can't stop himself.
- Alsoooo we all know about ai of The Science Team's soda.... infatuation. That's the same with The Streamer Team.
Except it's just Gordon, one of the Streamers breaks a vending machine ( probably Tommy or Coomer ) as a joke, and Gordon rushes - sprints shoving them out of the way - to shotgun down a soda.
He needs that caffeine and energy for all the bullshit going on in Black Mesa after all.
- UNLIKE Gordon leaving The Science Team in the game despite Coomer's plea, The Streamer Team figure out a way to get their Gordon out. It takes a long time, and there's concerns like " what if he gets into our bank accounts and leaks everything?"
But after promises were made and such, Gordon can hop from computer to computer and game to game Y2kbenrey style.Because im a sucker and want them happy. Let em be happy.
HL2VRAI can still work in this au. Hold my hand, it can still work. I have big...er... moderately sized evil ideas. Okay. Trust me and my moderately sized evil ideas.
Something something Gordon hops back into HL to check up on it, and when he doesn't come out after a long while the Team go in and find what was a few hours for them was years for in game. Something something
And that their old identities are taken over by new ai. ( HAZZA ANOTHER SWAP. ) also Gordon's been taken to the torture factory and they need to go get him back. With like.... Addi. Yeah.
Instead of just popping in to help like the og, Addi's sticking around and sometimes just fucking disappears for no reason. Maybe. That might not stay in this au. I might change that. Idk.
convince anon, india midterms anon (new), important decision anon, wednesday anon (new), frog stuffie guy anon
convince anon
hi cas its convince anon <33 thank you for your response !!
i called the hotline in my country because i thought you know what, fuck it!!
but guess what the hotline in my country closes at 8pm. 8PM. IM NOT EVEN JOKING I SEARCHED IT UP AND IT CLOSES AT 8. i feel so helpless i dont know what to do because if i call it before 8 then my parents will walk in since my mum has no regard for my privacy and i seriously dont know what to do
i have a friend who knows about my thoughts, and my self-destruction problems, and shes trying her best but i lowkey want to give up š
ive heard stories about how people who call the hotline find it funny when they dont pick up but i just dont feel that way i feel even worse just yeah.
again, i really dont know what to do because what fucking hotline closes at 8pm? thank you so much <33
Hi!
That's....so fucking crazy. Like...BRO THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DEFUND MENTAL HEALTH. Smh it makes me so angry. Like angry for you, obviously, not angry at you.
Would you be willing to inbox me your country? I can try to look for other hotlines that are open later hours!
___
india midterms anon
hey cas!!
my midterms got over yesterday (friday) and i didn't have my phone for the entire duration. i finally got it back yesterday and i went out yesterday with my friend, her mom and my mom right after our exam. today i went to a cafe with a few of my friends and it was so fun. tomorrow im going shopping with my parents and meeting up with my uncle and aunt for lunch.
here's the thing, these three weeks drained me so hard but i don't even think it's in the like normal way. like yeah obviously im tired of studying but STUDYING didn't drain me. if you tell me to go study now even after continuously studying for three weeks straight, i wouldn't mind doing it. it's just. idk. i had so much fun today and something in my just felt. ALIVE. and ill have fun today and tomorrow but we'll probably start getting our midterms grades soon.
i live in india. im in 10th grade and until 10th grade we can choose a few subjects. like in my school we HAVE to have maths (unless we have a disability like adhd or something), english, second language (indian language), history and geography. for elective two we can choose between science (physics, chem, bio all you can't choose just one), commerce, economics and environmental studies. elective three you can choose between economic applications (applications for eco and commerce are just more real life application type), commercial applications, computer applications, home science, german, fashion designing and art.
next year I have a lot more choices for isc (which I guess is equivalent to a levels if I'm not mistaken). i wanna do psychology except...im not really sure what. whether I wanna do clinical or counselling. im kinda into criminology but idk. so we already got our forms to fill in for our subject choices
i know I'll get sociology and psychology but I'm not really sure whether I'll get maths and biology because they have cut offs where they look at marks from 9th and 10th grade. i suck at maths. i honestly would only take it because colleges want stats with maths but we can't take JUST stats. im worried about bio because last year I fucked up MAJORLY and i am just PRAYING my midterm went well because i really like it as a subject
i don't want my midterm results. i havent done poorly but I could have done better. it wasn't BAD but it wasn't particularly good either. i just. idk.
Hi!
Congrats on finishing midterms! I'm so glad you were able to take a break and live a little! Studying like that sounds so exhausting, you deserve a break!
Remember, when you get your results back, it doesn't mean you're any less of a person no matter how you do. You still tried your best!
When you get your results, if you want, lmk! I'm excited to hear about how awesome you did!
___
important decision anon
Hi cas! Important decision anon here bringing better news! First of all, thanks for the support<3 and to answer your question, it is possible to switch after three years but it isn't advised since the first two years and the last three are viewed kinda separately, plus you start accumulating credit for the maturity exam (when you get your diploma) in the last three years. Btw, artistic called back! They are almost full and only have a couple of places left and...THEY ARE IN THE FASHION COURSE!(which is the one i wanted to go to) there are some other students that want to go to that school BUT i may be able to be fit in because of my high grades in the past school, they're gonna give me a final answer on monday. I'm so happy and hopeful, cas, I'll update you with the final answer :)
AHHHH that's so exciting! omg yes please lmk as soon as you know! (actually you may already know by the time this is posted, I hope it's good news!!!)
___
Wednesday anon (new)
Hey cas, I start school on Wednesday, Iām so nervous, my old school was literally only 50 people and they were all really nice and now Iām going to a school with over 1000 people and they all seem kinda basic (not to be rude but yk, sometimes you just get a vibe) Iāve made friends with one girl who is very sweet but sheās barely at school and another who is very cool but like her friends arenāt great, one of them is the brother of someone really bad and itās making me super nervous. There is a bright side though, the English teacherās classroom had a poster for my favourite book
Hi!
That definitely sounds like a big and scary change! I think the good AND bad thing is, with such a big group of people, there's bound to be people you don't like and people you do! It's just going to take some time to find them. If you meet some shit people, remember that there are 999 other people to choose from, and it's okay to be picky about who you like, you know?
It'll take some time, but you'll find your people <3
___
Frog stuffie guy anon
CASSSSSS I START ART COLLEGE ON MONDAY!!!
I did fuck up though because I forgot to actually get the stuff I need and I didnt have any money until yesterday so I've kind of been panicking and I also dont have proper clothes that arent covered in paint but at the same time its art college so paint is almost the uniform but I forgot to get actual supplies like paint and shit lol but heyyyy what happens will happen! I'm just excited to go to college for ART omg i get to spend 3 days a week just painting and making art
-frog stuffie guy
Ahhhh that's so exciting! The good news is, usually the first day of class is syllabus day, so you should be all set even if you're not completely prepared yet, dw. I'm so happy for you, update me about how it goes if you think of it!
(tma oc ask content warning for canon typical levels of buried fuckery)
am i the asshole for driving away my friend?
hey reddit . im posting from a throwaway bc i dont want people connecting this to my work (though i doubt youve heard of me anyways) but i think i messed up terribly and i want to know if this is something i can still fix
also sidenote sorry if my grammar or punctuation or word choice or anything of that sort are poor. i have not been sleeping well for some time
i (19m) am a video game developer. its been my passion for years now and i am currently in uni studying computer games development and programming and level design . although i have considered dropping out but thats a point for later . i post on itch io and such and sometimes i make flash games but idk if anyone reading this has played a single one
its been a bit of a hard time for me, if im being honest. i really like games and i really liked making them but i dont think im very good at programming or art or level design or any of the other things that go into the process of making a game . at least a profitable and fun one .
so i ended up coming to this computer science study group in the hopes maybe someone could teach me to be better at programming. and i met this girl. i dont know exactly how old she is, but i want to say she was maybe two or three years ahead of me in her schooling, so probably about 22. anyways lets call her E
E was studying pure computer science and wanted to do it at a high level . so of course she was pretty good at helping me with my really rudimentary programming stuff . and she was friendly and funny and we liked hanging out so we ended up being good friends . she actually complimented my games, once i got them to function, and said my pixel art was cute . my point is we were close . maybe we wouldnāt have been so close if we had anyone else, but i was still new and she was pretty lonely .
really shortly after i met her though i started having fucked up dreams. ok thatās not entirely accurate because i had been having fucked up dreams on occasion for a while . but they got worse and she showed up in them. it was all me locking her in stairwells hitting her over the head and piling earth over her body filling her mouth with mud and cement. terrible things
so i stopped sleeping. i tried not to at least. im pretty sure most uni kids pull all nighters. i know i did even when i was younger. but i wasnt studying for exams or whatever. i was just trying and trying to force myself awake and i started to lose it a bit. my grip on things. it felt like i was sleepwalking through classes and even like i was dreaming when i was awake. id nod off for a moment in a lecture and id feel dirt caked on my hands under my fingernails. and no matter how much i scrubbed and how much i knew with my eyes it wasnt there it just. refused to come off . and it felt like her blood
i donāt remember how we got on the topic but i remember she told me how she always worried a little bit about being trapped . like claustrophobia of a flavor that shows itself in locked doors and thick walls and collapsing underground stations. that made me feel even more odd about the whole thing . of course i felt awful about hurting her but that part of it was like a joke i didnāt get
and then weirdly enough i got really into nineties 3D games. they have these skyboxes that make it really obvious theyāre not actually infinite . and i thought that was kind of interesting in context. like the whole world is a box youāre in so why worry so much about if the stairwell door will lock behind you
i kind of started thinking that was something i would like to replicate with my art . like if i put all my issues into one game they would be out of my brain and gone . maybe it could even be pleasant without the whole preying on my friends terror thing
so now we get to the part of the story where i fear i really really messed up . i made this game . and honestly i dont remember the development very well . sleep deprivation is a dreadful thing . i remember again and again while i was making it kind of coming to my senses not knowing where i was and finding massive parts of the game that i didnt remember making at all.
it was set in a stairwell but i dont remember buying or making the models for the door . there was a really weird kind of way the game functioned with an infinite path going up but how that functioned i couldnt tell you . and i dont remember composing the audio or where i might have downloaded it from except that i never liked to listen to it for very long . i dont know why i kept it in the game
i always showed my games to E but i really wanted her to see this one in particular. so she came by my flat and played it and then i remember she just glared at me . there was something to the look she gave me . it was like she was completely horrified and was trying to pretend she was just angry instead
she hasnt spoken to me since . and i think i fucked up . i knew it was playing at her issues and i think maybe i even made it at least subconsciously to pry at them. like the same part of me with dirt under my fingernails was also sitting there typing away on that keyboard .
but at the same time its just a game . and im better at programming now too . like something just clicked there
honestly though development lately has been weird. its been hard trying to go back to the old sort of pixel art platformers and shoot em ups and that kind of thing i used to make. every time i open any program its like im just staring at it and imagining skyboxes. putting it all in a box imprisoning every world i make that kind of thing. like i said earlier ive been considering dropping out. but i dont know. i think id need to sleep on it
i still have weird fucked up dreams but E isnt in them anymore . i dont know where shes gone . i think maybe my idea worked somehow and i did transfer all that shit to my art . and then that just all went right to her . but i dont know if i like that idea or hate it
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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OH MY GOSH I LOVE WRITING SYNTAX HEADCANONS FOR U AND I LOVE YOUR OPINIONS FOR MY HEADCANONSSš«¶
If I have to be honest syntax is lowkeyyyy jealous? like talk abt a person next to him he'll be like "huh they did that? patheticš" but if u ask him if he is jealous "jealous?me?? nah Im only telling u that person is dumb"
I think he would understand if ur pretending to sleep but he would act like he didn't noticed like ur having a hard time sleeping but u dont wanna wake syntax cause of that ur pretending to sleep GOT WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY RIGHT??š
His science skills are another level but..he was probably bad at history when he was a kid
ask him about something in history (like ottomans n stuff like that) he would just stare at u embarrassed
I think he would remember small details about u like tell him your fav food or fav color he'll keep those in his mind (cause he is a awesome bf duhš)
Idk why but he was a creepypasta fan when he was a kid..or a science nerd
Im so sorry if I wrote short headcanons Im so sick these days idk why
Have a great day š«HUG.
to cope with the jealousy I imagine he'd either he in SUPER DENIAL or try to impress you with HIS genius because, in his mind, if you're complimenting someone else, he must not be trying hard enough/you must not see how smart he is
Of course, you're quick to remind him that your heart is his, and only his, every time to find out what he's doing
And SLEEP, yes I imagine Syntax finds it difficult to intrude on someone's personal space or when they're having a moment, especially if it's someone he respects. However, if he thinks it's going too far, he'll quickly get fed up and try to solve the problem.
And yeah, I don't think Syntax was ever a history-centered dude, hENCE why he didn't care for some of those questions on that test in chapter 12 of Heartstrings, like whoever was the first computer programmer. It's just not something he's interested, and would either brush it off when you ask him or feel embarrassed for not knowing
YES YES
THIS BASTARD PAYS AN INCREDIBLE ATTENTION TO DETAIL. He'll treat this relationship like fucking glass and would never to anything to put it in danger.
Hence why he'll note on the little things that you like, or things that make you tick.
Of course, this only occurs when he starts caring about you.
EYO FEEL BETTER SOON ANON!! DRINK WATER, STAY SAFE, DO CRIME- joking, but in all seriousness I conjure an imaginary soup for your soul :))
I actually asked why you specifically despise donna tartt so much, like other than the reasons I mentioned (and the heavy substance abuse that's supposed to pass off as cool) I think the hate towards the secret history is unwarranted. needless to mention that I don't think there's a certain rule book on not making your characters well read and that if you did then you must, at all costs, be pretentious. even so, donna tartt employed a 'show not tell' style of writing wherein we can actually imagine why the characters being interested in the classics impacts their daily line of thinking, unlike someone like murakami or sally rooney or even fucking john green who make their characters smart just for the sake of it. i read somewhere that the study of the classics was brought up so often in the novel to convey that it was academia that brought the students to their ruin. if it weren't the greeks and poetry and languages that interested the students and computer science for all I care, I don't think anyone would consider the novel this pretentious.
that being said, she wrote the novel very young and i think she wrote it in her best efforts in the 90s as a white woman. I read it at 13 and it was one of the first that I read that fleshed out characters this much and I don't think it's so vile if a 15 year old has it on their fav Goodreads lists lol maybe her other books suck idk
I have no idea how you got the impression that I despise Donna tartt since my blog has only ever vocally hated one author and one author only (hanya yanagihara I hope she sneezes or something whenever I think of her) if this is about me giving tsh 2 stars, it was because I thought it was fine but it wasnāt really for me. Iām trying to recall any context within which you inferred that I despised Donna tartt but apart from some tongue in cheek hyperbolic jokes Iāve made years ago I canāt think of oneā¦I donāt hate tsh it just isnāt for me anymore, despite all the prose
Iām not sure what youāre asking of me? I agree with you? I donāt really care if 15 year olds love the book, because I thought it was the bees knees when I was 15 too, and honestly good for 15 year olds if they love a book which is clearly above their supposed reading level!
hi! how have you been since the hell that ensued after halloween is?
also could you do a batboys college au? like their major and how the reader would meet them and all that jazz? šš
-š„
hi anon!! iām not sure what ur talking about @ the halloween stuff hvsdhjs but! here are the batboys hcās! iām not very familiar with duke thomasās character enough to write about him tbh, so heās not included here :( but if you want me to add him let me know!! i hope you enjoy!!
dick grayson
out of all the batboys i really didnāt know how to choose a major for him
but
i think heād do law tbh, specifically criminal lawĀ
his main motivation to become a police officer in bludhaven had been to be able to help people in any way he canĀ
i forgot if itās canon or not but he does realize how corrupt it is and he quits but thatās another thing we wonāt get into that lmaoĀ
anyways yes letās just stick with lawĀ
meeting you !Ā
he shares one or two courses with you
one thatās really early in the morningĀ
and one thatās later on in the afternoonĀ
dick is like a magnetic okay
anywhere he goes people are just attracted to him
like literally he will breatheĀ
but someone call the ambulance thereās a person thatās passed out bc of how beautiful he is
but this is an 8 am class š
so thereās no way ur awake enough to notice him
coincidentally he sits next to you one time
and this is the one time
you decide
yeah lemme just fkn sleep is uni even worth itĀ
dick definitely notices right away but he doesnāt say anythingĀ
he thinks you look so cute passed out on your desk like this š„ŗ
when the professor signals the end of the class, he watches as people file out and then he just leans over and nudges you slightlyĀ
you nearly punch him bc he scared you ā¤ļø
he just laughs and goes āclass is overāĀ
you just sigh like the guilt starts to hit you and your heart begins to sink
and he sees your disappointed face and just goesĀ
āi took a lot notes. i can share them w you?ā
lifesaver in every single way dick grayson š»š»š»
you had another class that you had to run to and you were rushing
he was like ādw iāll just give them to you whenever i see you nextāĀ
and you šš»āāļø outta there
imagine ur surprise when u enter class at 12 pm and heās there in all his gloryĀ
after the lecture is over, he walks up to you as youāre packing and asks if you want to go to the coffee shop nearbyĀ
to take his notes of course
and you finally register just how handsome he isĀ
so obviously you say yes wtf
and the rest is history š¼
he asks you out, properly, pretty early on tbhĀ
so unfazed lmfaoĀ
now you take naps on his shoulder instead of the desk ššš
soooo into pdaĀ
kisses u when he first sees you
when youāre parting ways
when he feels like it
straight up cuddles w during lectures iām not even jokingĀ
itās disgusting how cute you two areĀ
gets you coffee for all those 8 am classes u have w him hehe
study dates always turn into karaoke sessions somehow donāt even ask lmao
jason todd
english literatureĀ
this is a collective agreement right?Ā
right
definitely english literatureĀ
i dont even think he wants to go to uni but heās going to waste time plus this is bruceās money šš¤
your major doesnāt necessarily have to be english literature as well
but you share one class
and my godĀ
you two disagree on everything
like every little thing
at this point if he says something and you slightly agree internally youāll still say some opposing shitĀ
thatās kinda what draws you to himĀ
at first you genuinely had nothing against him
but then this kind of rivalry developed for no specific reasonĀ
but it was fun
and he was hot
so seeing him get flustered or angry made him even hotter somehowĀ
but then
but t h e n
youāre not sure if your professor like ships you or something
so youāre assigned a debate topic on one of the books youād discussed in class/one of the books youāve read outside, and within each group are the two sides for and againstĀ
not only were you in the same team as jason, but you were on the same side as him
so you had to work with him
the audacity of the professor omgĀ
but jason needs this courseĀ
andĀ
well you donāt but itās too late to back out nowĀ
you two meet in the campus library after deciding on a book with the other two of your team
andĀ
honestly???Ā
you two work so well togetherĀ
like insanely well
during the debate you destroyed the other teamĀ
spoiler alertĀ
doing so well with jason kinda made you like hot and botheredĀ
seeing him in his zone
sexy <3Ā
what i mean to say is
you both end up making out in some storage room lmfaoĀ
or hate sex š
professor has a phd in matchmaking š¤š»
i think you two donāt admit you like each other
bc youāre both stubborn as fuck
but eventually youāre literally on his lap on his couch and it just hits you
and you lean back and go
āwanna go out w meāĀ
and he just shrugs and goes āsureā and pulls you in for more kissing hehe
heās not v good at the boyfriend thing tbh
you have to chase him around and be likeĀ āsir!!! did u forget about me huh!!!ā
he doesnāt mean to i promise
he gets all blushy and flustered once he realizesĀ
only ever into pda if heās insanely jealousĀ
will straight up make out w u regardless of where u are or who ur with lmfaoĀ
heās still getting used to the little intimacies and allĀ
debates in class are so much more fun now cause he finds it so hot when u get all riled up hehe
that eng lit professor is so happy for you two omg
tim drake
okay i also couldnāt really decide for him
but maybe heād study something like physics (or maybe computer engineering/computer science)Ā
idk u have to have a death wish to wanna major in physics so timās major it is
iām not sure how it works for every other uni but my uni requires 6 credits of sciences to graduateĀ
so letās say for the sake of this hc u take like just the first level of physics to get 3 creditsĀ
andĀ
youāre struggling ššš¼
so you like approach your professor with a few questions before the quizĀ
but tim is also there
and he kinda makes small talk while you two wait outside the office
and he asks why youāre here
you show him
and heās like āoh i took this course w the same professor as well, i could help?āĀ
itās like an angel had descended from the heavens for you personallyĀ
you take his number and decide to meet up with him after a few hoursĀ
heās of so much more help than your professor wouldāve been, even if ur prof is a really nice and smart personĀ
and heās super like
patient with you?Ā
also he pays for all the coffee and snacks youāre getting after you already get themĀ
ur like bruh i didntĀ
dont pay pls
and heās like no im loaded let me š¼
swooning <3Ā
and guess what!!Ā
you ace the quiz out of some miracle
first thing you do is text him and he congratulates youĀ
and then
bc ur not blind and tim is so fucking cute
youāre like ācan i take u out to thank uāĀ
timās brain stops working but !Ā
he does say yes eventuallyĀ
he becomes your designated physics tutor + your amazing boyfriend
being with tim is so like
chill
itās a very relaxed timeĀ
lots of study dates! and cafe dates! all hours of the day whether the sun is up or notĀ
into pda but to a certain degreeĀ
like yes of course have a kiss pretty babyĀ
but also it will only be a small peck
any time anyone passes by like common rooms you two will be there snuggling on the couch, one or both of you completely passed outĀ
damian wayne
business major 100%Ā
or a bsba econ major, which is basically the business side of economicsĀ
he has to take over his fatherās company one day duhĀ
also i genuinely think damian would excel in this fieldĀ
heās a very keeps to himself kinda guy in uni
like you only ever see him in your common classes and then he just
disappearsĀ
anyways there was this party that everyone was going to, and damian wasnāt planning to
but dick accidentally read some groupchatās messages and was like are u going
damian went šš»āāļø
but dick was like go and try to make friends !!!!Ā
and dames cant say no to his big bro š„ŗ so he goes
stays in a corner on the settings app the entire time
like half an hr in he just leaves and is walking home/back to his dorm when you come like rushing up to himĀ
youāre zoomingĀ
and then you just latch onto his hand and lean up to press a kiss to his cheek, whispering in his ear āthis personās been following me for like 15 mins just please go along w thisāĀ
he kinda stiffens but when he does notice that thereās a person eyeing you he slips his arm around your waist and just carries on walking
he walks you to your home/dorm and is like
so awkwardĀ
but itās okay ! ur a peopleās person enough for the two of youĀ
you thank him so much over and overĀ
and then youāre likeĀ
ācan i take you out on a real date?āĀ
and then he becomes ur real boyfriend hehe
is still super stiff but itās only bc heās so hyper aware of how attractive you are
and iām super positive he doesnāt have that much experience with dating soĀ
you hold the reignsĀ
but heās a great boyfriend all in all tbhĀ
super attentive, super protective, and so lovingĀ
isnāt into pda especially on college campus but he does like subtle pda
things like linking your pinkies or giving you his hoodie to just parade around campus hehe
end note; iām sorry if these feel rushed or anything like. i used to be an avid writer for the batboys, but i just havenāt been feeling it lately. i still love to write from them bc i know these boys so well eeeeppp. anyways feel free to request some more!!
