#ftwd reader insert

Nothing is worse than being separated from the guy you’re hopelessly in love with. It’s been a few weeks since Nick had walked off with the dead, claiming we were the monsters.

Ofelia and Alicia got into the bed of the truck, my feet planted where they were as I saw Nick walking towards us slowly. I stumbled towards him, laying my hands on his arms as tears were streaming down my cheeks. “N-Nick,” I whispered, looking up at him as his eyes gazed down at me.

“You need to go,” Nick muttered, his hands intertwining with mine as my eyes widened, shaking my head.

“Y/N! Nick! Come on, we need to go,” Madison called out, walking towards us. Strand drove slowly behind us, stopping a few feet behind us, light shining twenty feet past us.

“Nick, please, I-I can’t lose you,” I murmured, moving my hands to his cheeks. Nick leans his bloody forehead against mine and my eyes flutter shut.

“Go,” he whispered, placing a small kiss on my forehead.

“Nick, come on. We gotta go,” Madison claimed and he looked at his mother before glancing towards the villa that was currently on fire.

“She was right…” Nick started, looking back at Madison. “We destroy everything.”

“Madison! Y/N! Come on, now!” Strand yelled, infected and angry villa workers making our way towards us. Madison’s lips parted, her eyes filled with sadness as were mine, stepping back towards the truck.

I stared up at Nick, sniffling a bit as he gave me a sad from, rubbing my cheekbone. Strand wrapped his arms around my torso, beginning to bring me back towards the truck. “No! No, I-I can’t leave him. Let me go, let me go!” I yelled, squirming in his arms.

Nick turned around, running towards the mob of infected before slowing down, walking as Strand placed me into the bed of the truck.

I sat in the back of the pickup truck when we drove down the driveway of the villa passing Nick on the way and my eyes trained on Nick as his were on me.

“I’m sorry. I love you, be safe.” He mouthed to me, luckily being able to read his lips. Tears streamed down my face as I lost sight of him, hugging my knees.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, glancing over towards Ofelia as she gave me a sad smile. I just looked back towards where Nick was walking, not seeing anything but the infected limping around.

The five of us stopped at this hotel, getting out of the truck as I hugged my arms, looking up at the large building. I glanced back towards where we came from, frowning a bit as I wish Nick would just walk through those gates and wrap me in his arms.

Ofelia, Alicia, and I went to one of the rooms to stay in while Strand and Madison had gone to the bar area. I sat down on the bed, sighing to myself as I looked out the window. The blue ocean waves crashing into the shore, many infected climbing out onto the beach every once in a while.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” Ofelia muttered to the both of us. Alicia must’ve nodded her head because the next thing I hear is the door behind shut.

The bed dipped down next to me, keeping my eyes on the water. An arm came around my shoulder and I glanced towards Alicia, tears pooling in my eyes.

“I know it’s hard,” she muttered, rubbing my back softly. I looked down at my hands, sniffling a bit as I nodded my head.

“I-I just don’t understand what happened. He would’ve never left you or me and now… he’s not even here. He’s out there,” I nodded my head to the outside, “without anyone by his side. I should’ve gone with him.”

“Nick wouldn’t allow that,” Alicia told me and I shrugged my shoulders.

“I don’t care. I just want to know he’s safe. I need to know that he’s safe,” I cried, not being able to stop the tears that are streaming down my face. Alicia wrapped her arms around me as I begin sobbing into her chest, hugging her tightly. Please be okay…

“If I know my brother, which I like to think I do, he’ll come back. Nick cares about you too much for him to not come back,” she muttered and I picked my head up, looking at her.

“You think so?” I asked and she nodded her head, a small smile on her lips.

“Of course. I know he mouthed something to you as we were leaving. I’m not very good at reading lips so I don’t know what he said, but I’m sure it was something-,”

“I’m sorry. I love you, be safe,” I muttered, cutting Alicia off and her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “That’s what he mouthed to me,” I clarified and her eyes widened, lips parted in surprise.

“He said ‘I love you’? Wow, that’s honestly really surprising,” she mentions and I nodded my head.

“I know. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say that before, to anyone,” I pressed my lips together, smiling softly. I picked at the tips of my fingers, my smile widening as I thought about all the times Nick and I hung out with each other. Our friendship was very touchy… like we always had our hands on each other in some way. It honestly felt like we were a couple most of the time and we’ve gotten compliments from people saying how adorable we were. Although Nick would deny the fact that we were just friends, I liked to think just maybe the two of us could’ve reached that status, but it never happened.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Ofelia came out of the bathroom, running a towel through her long hair. “Shower’s free,” she smiled, sitting down on the other bed. Alicia patted my bed before heading into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. “So, were you and Nick-,”

I cut her off before she could even finish the question, “no. W-We weren’t together,” I muttered. I glanced towards her, giving her a small smile as she nodded her head.

“I’m surprised. With the way you two looked at each other I would’ve guessed that the two of you would’ve been together for at least a few years,” Ofelia mentioned, looking at herself in the mirror as I stared at her, my lips parted in shock.

-

We stayed at this huge ass hotel for about a week. During the week we had found the owners of it while Alicia and I were being attacked by the infected, the result of looking for Ofelia since she just disappeared. People found out that there were survivors here when Madison turned on the lights of the place to see if Travis would come towards it, which he did.

Turns out that Chris wasn’t with Travis and we prayed that he was okay, well Alicia didn’t but Madison and I did. Soon enough the four of us; Travis, Madison, Alicia, and I were kicked out after Travis had basically murdered the two boys that were with Chris after finding out that they ended up shooting him after getting into a severe car accident.

Now we’re on the road again. Heading towards the border to see if there’s a chance we can find Nick. When we reached the border, we were taken in roughly by the military. Us three girls getting into one truck as Travis got into another truck, driving in separate directions.

The three of us girls were brought into what looked an office, an officer leaving us alone as Alicia began pacing the room. Madison looked for some other way to get out, worried for Travis’ safety.

“Anything?” Alicia asked her mother and she shook her head no in response. The teenager sighed, running a hand through her hair as I sat down on the chair, glancing out the window. “What about the ceiling?” She asked.

Madison stood on a chair, pushing the ceiling tile up before letting out a small sigh, “there’s nothing. It doesn’t go anywhere.”

“We shouldn’t have come here,” Alicia muttered, sitting down next to me.

“We had to, ‘Licia,” Madison told her, hands settled on her hips as Alicia rolled her eyes.

“No, we shouldn’t be looking for him, chasing him. It always blows back on us in the end,” she mentioned and I furrowed my eyebrows together. Madison was about to speak when a guy mine and Alicia’s age steps into the room with a journal in his hand, sitting on the desk in front of us.

“Hi, sorry to keep you. My name’s Troy,” he introduced and I rest my elbows on my knees, watching Madison stare at the teenager. “Please, please sit, ma’am.”

I tuned out the conversation, looking back out the window, wondering what Nick is doing at the moment. Wondering if he’s okay. Dead or alive. I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes as negative thoughts filled my mind. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the door shut, looking at the two girls.

“He’s going to kill us,” Alicia muttered, my eyes widening, feeling my heart beat a mile a minute.

“No, no. He’s treating us to well,” Madison countered, beginning to look around the room again.

“Why do you think that is?” I asked, earning a shrug from Nick’s mother and I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

The two began arguing as Madison was looking for some sort of weapon in case things go bad. I saw Alicia bend over, pulling the butterfly knife out of her boot, showing her mother. “I hid it in before they took us.”

The three of us heard footsteps and Madison motioned us to hide. Alicia and I hid behind the couch as someone walked in. We came out when we heart grunting, seeing Madison on top of Troy, trying to take him down when he knocks her off. Alicia charged at him with her blade, getting it knocked out of her hand as she was thrust towards the wall. I stood in shock, eyes wide and lips parted as I saw Madison grip the spoon, coming up to Troy from behind, jabbing the spoon in his eye.

I wince, placing my hands over my mouth as she was mumbling to him. I ran over towards Alicia, helping her off the ground making sure she was alright as Madison called back to us, “Go find a running vehicle!”

Alicia and I took off in another direction, sneaking around the base as we saw two vehicles nearby. I looked around for guards as she quietly opened the door, making sure it would when grunting and screaming tore our attention elsewhere.

“What was that?” I asked, glancing towards my friend which she responded with a shrug. She began walking in that direction, seeing a sewage grate as I followed behind her.

“Nick?!” My heart skipped a beat at the name, running over to her, looking into the vent. Oh my god. Below me was Nick, struggling to get an infected off of him, his eyes widening once he noticed I was there.

“Alicia? Y/N?” He called out and I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks. Alicia slipped the butterfly knife through the gate, landing near him as a woman took it, stabbing the infected in the back of the head. Nick pushed the infected off of him, his eyes never leaving mine as a pair of arms grabbed me, pulling Alicia and me away.

“No! Let me go, Nick!” I called out, struggling to get free of the soldier’s grip.

“Y/N!” I heard him yell.

Alicia and I were brought to the pit where Madison and Travis were, the couple in a tight embrace. “I found him, Maddie. I found Nick, he’s here.” I heard him whisper to her and her eyes lit up.

“Where is he?” She asked as guards brought Nick and another woman around the corner, Nick fighting the guard's grip. Madison stepped forward, muttering to herself incoherently as my eyes never left Nick’s. “Let him go!”

The guards let him go as he stumbled forward. “Mom,” he mumbled as Madison ran over to him, pulling him into a tight hug. I started to cry again as Alicia stepped forward as well, hugging his sister and mother at the same time. Nick’s eyes met mine as he pulled away from them, stumbling forwards as he reached me. “Y/N,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I cried into his neck as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I muttered into the crevice of his neck, my hands going through his hair as Nick lifted me off the ground.

“I’m glad you’re okay, too. I was so worried something might have happened,” he whispered, pressing his lips to the side of my head.

After our reunion, the six of us including the strange woman who was injured was brought to an area where Travis and Madison began to pack some stuff, talking about where we’re going next.

I glanced towards Nick who was currently stroking the hair out of the girls face, a frown forming on my lips. Who the hell is this chick? Her hand was resting against his forearm, squeezing her eyes shut in pain as he comforted her with reassuring words.

I stepped away from them, feeling my heart breaking just a little bit as I sat down on one of the storage crates. I violently wiped the tears from my eyes as Alicia stood in front of me. “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” I muttered, staring at the ground, my foot tapping against the concrete. I bit my lip to stop myself from quivering, but fail. A sob escapes my lips, Alicia crouching in front of me as she wrapped her arms around me. “I-I don’t understand, ‘Licia. H-He’s gone for what? A couple weeks or something and he’s already got a girlfriend? What does she have that I don’t?” I asked.

“I don’t know, Y/N/N. I really don’t.” She whispered, rubbing my back softly. Nick came out, glancing at us as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Everything okay?” He asked softly, rubbing his hands together. I glanced up at him, looking away quickly as Alicia sighed, getting up.

Before she could drag him away I spoke up, “who’s she?” I looked towards him as his eyes were already on me, his lips moving but no words come out.

“Uhm, that’s Luciana,” he muttered, stepping towards me. I scrunch my face up, getting up and walking away.

“Infected incoming!” A guard shouted and I glanced around seeing a horde of infected making their way towards us.

“We need to get Luciana on that chopper!” Another Guy my age yelled as Travis and Alicia grabbed her, Madison and Nick taking out some of the infected. I stood still, lost in my thoughts as I just looked around feeling my hands shake slightly.

“We gotta go!” I heard Troy yell, a pair of arms wrapping around my stomach as they carried me towards the truck. I glanced behind me to see Nick carrying me, trying to wriggle out of his grip as he places me in the bed of the ford.

“Let me go,” I muttered, getting out of his grip, sitting towards the tailgate as the truck began to drive out of the base. I could feel Nick’s eyes on me and I looked over for a few seconds, seeing the hurt in them as I looked away. I ran my fingers through my hair, staring at the helicopter as they flew over the mountains.

We arrived at the ranch about a day later, stopping a few times along the way. Madison and Nick sat in the backseat of the truck as I volunteered to sit in the bed of the truck, not wanting to be anywhere near the Nick at the moment.

Troy unexpectedly told us to get out of the truck and the three of us complied, suspiciously. We stood on the outside of the gate, my eyes looking over the ranch, seeing an amount of RV’s and tents all over the grassy plains. I hugged my arms, rubbing the dry skin softly as Madison and Nick were talking about leaving.

“Y/N?” Madison called my name and my gaze turned towards her, humming in response. “Are you okay?” She asked and I nodded my head, my eyes glanced towards her son, his eyes on me as his hands were on his hips.

He let out a sigh, walking over towards me, grabbing my arm before dragging us off so we can talk alone. “What’s going on?” Nick asked once we were out of range for his mother to hear.

“It’s nothing, Nick,” I muttered, trying to walk away when he stops me.

“Obviously there is something, Y/N. Y-You’re never this cold to me,” he mentioned and I looked towards the ground, kicking my feet in the dirt. “Talk to me.”

“Who’s Luciana to you?” I asked bluntly, staring up at him. Nick’s let out a small sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Is this why you’re so upset with me? Because of Lucy?” He asked and I stayed silent, shrugging my shoulders. “She’s something to me…” Nick vaguely cleared up and I scoffed.

“Bullshit. She’s more than just something to you, Nick. While you were with her, I was worried sick about you. I-I didn’t sleep, hell I barely ate. D-Do you know how much you actually mean to me?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

“You don’t think I was worried about you? Because you’re wrong. I was just as worried about you as you were of me. Y-You mean everything to me, you of all people should know that and I know that I mean a hell of a lot to you as well.” Nick muttered, placing his hands on his head as he walked in a circle.

“Then how come you’re suddenly with another girl?” I asked, becoming a bit angrier as he let out a huff of breath.

“I’m not with her. She got shot when I tried to help her people go to this “refugee camp,” but turned out to be a fucking military base who do human experiments.” He explained and I tilted my head to the side, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

“Human experiments? What do you mean?” I asked.

Nick showed me his hand, revealing a number on it. I gently grabbed it, running my hand through the ink as he spoke, “Troy and his little minions would test how long it took people to turn. They took us there and we were waiting to be slaughtered. Wanna know something?” He asked and I nodded my head. “While we were waiting, I actually told Lucy about you. Basically everything and she told me she’s never seen someone so in love with somebody before. At first, I thought that was ridiculous since we were best friends, there’s no way we could be in love with each other, but then that changed. When I saw you standing there at the base I couldn’t feel anymore relieved that you were okay. It took a lot of holding back from kissing you,” he muttered, his thumb settling against my cheek, rubbing my cheekbone softly.

“I-,” I stuttered, moving my hands to the jacket he was wearing, gripping it in my hands as I looked over his face.

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you speechless,” Nick joked, chuckling a bit as I hit his chest playfully.

“When the guy you’ve been in love with for years tells you he loves you as well… you get a bit speechless,” I mentioned, grinning softly. Nick leaned his forehead against mine, his breath hitting my lips as my own breath hitched in my throat. “I love you too,” I whispered.

He grinned, leaning down to press his lips against mine. I let out a small gasp, eyes fluttering shut as I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back. Oh god, his lips feel wonderful. His fingers slipped into my hair, pulling me closer to him as mine did the same.

Nick pulled away from me, a wide grin on his lips as he stared down at me. “I realized that I’ve been waiting for years to do that,” he muttered, placing a quick kiss on my lips. Nick let out a small sigh, glancing towards the ranch. “I really don’t want to stay here, but if you’re with me I don’t think it’ll be all that bad.”

I chuckled, shaking my head a bit as Madison called out to us, motioning us to go with her and an old man. Nick grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers as we walked into the ranch, people’s eyes staring at us as the elder man gave us a tour of the place.

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You’d been sat alone in a small room for who knew how long, your head resting against a wall seeing as you’d given up on finding a way out. There was no way out. You were stuck at this post apocalyptic concentration camp until you’d be freed. You just hoped that Alicia and Madison were in a better position than you were right now, you were exhausted but you needed to stay awake, you were alone, defenseless and honestly starting to find yourself rather scared as you sat in the corner of the cold unwelcoming room.

Why did she have to chase Nick? Why did Madison always have to chase him? Part of you understood why, sure. You’d always had feelings for Nick, despite his many flaws. Nick was kind, caring, he made you smile, and he never denied that he had faults. He was rather perfect in your eyes. But then he walked away, he looked at the group as they begged him to come and just walked away into a group of infected, because that was his new high. Then as always, Madison chased him and you were once more left to comfort your best friend, as she watched her mother caring more about her son than her. Alicia was like your sister; well the whole Clark family was your family now. Your parents had been away when the world ended, you never got to see them again, and you didn’t even really know if they were alive. But the Clarks kept you with them, through thick and thin.

Closing your eyes for a moment, you started to picture the way here. You wanted to at least try to figure out if you’d be able to get out of here, once you were reunited with the only family you had. But the issue was all you could picture was the dead bodies that were strewn across the grass. Those poor people, being murdered for who knows what reason? They didn’t look like the infected; you’d seen enough of them between L.A and Mexico to know they weren’t, even if you didn’t get a good look at them. Opening your eyes once again, you wished that you were at least tied up; wouldn’t it be easier if you were? You’d not feel so much like a caged animal if you were, you’d at least feel like a prisoner.

On arrival, your eyes had darted around; trying to see what was going on around you. How many solders, how many had guns, and who would be the easiest to take down. But you’d been quickly distracted by the split up of the group. Travis was taken to one truck, while you, Alicia and Madison the other way. It was then the horrible fearful thoughts had filled your mind, men and women were only ever separated like this for one reason, extermination. You’d always been into History, and all you could think at that moment was that one of these groups was never going to see day again. “Please, please don’t split us up!”  You’d begged at that point, begged and tried to fight to get Travis with you, at least if it was the end of your journey, it should’ve been all of your journeys end, not just one, or three.

Were you all doomed?

The door slowly opened and you found yourself wishing you’d found a weapon to fight with, sitting up you watched as a solder walked into the room carrying a tray. “Sorry to keep you waiting, I was chatting with Madison and Alicia. I lost track of time.” He explained letting out a chuckle as he placed the tray down on the table. “I’m Troy; you must be Y/N? They spoke very highly of you.” Standing up, you scoffed, not even really looking at him. “Where is my family?” You questioned, finally looking him in the eyes.  

He might’ve been the bad guy, he might’ve been holding you prisoner, holding you away from the people who loved you and you loved. But you were rather surprised by his good looks. “Are you alright?” Had you been staring at him? “What? Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” You replied trying to compose yourself and forget about the good looks of the man in front of you. “Tea?” He motioned to the cups on the table, as he gave you a charming grin. “I’d offer coffee, but it’s sadly not brewed and we have to save energy of course.” Slowly you shook your head. “No thank you, I don’t drink tea.” You replied, folding your arms across your chest, you moved into the room, and a little away from the wall. “Where is my family?”

You watched as Troy took a seat and motioned to the one opposite him, he had a soft smile on his face as he did so, and you found yourself trusting him, even though he was holding you all captive, you couldn’t help yourself. “Are they actually your family?” His question caught you off guard, had Madison said they weren’t family? “No, they’re not. Not by blood anyway, but they’re my family. They’re all I have now, and I don’t want to lose them.” You explained softly looking down at the blonde southern man’s hands as he wrote in a book.

“What are you writing?” You questioned, Troy looked up after a moment and smiled. “I tend to write things about every person I meet.” He explained closing the book and tucking it back inside of his jacket. “What did you write about me?” You couldn’t help but lean forward, the curiosity making your eyes shine softly. Leaning forward, Troy reached out and tucked a piece of stray hair behind your ear. His touch sent a jolt of electricity through your body. “That’s a secret.” He whispered looking into your eyes as his fingers ran down from your ear to your arm, leaving a trail of Goosebumps along your arm as he went.

The pair of you stared into one another’s eyes as his fingers moved gently over your wrist. “I’ve never seen a group like yours, you all feel as if you’re family, even if it’s not by blood.” Looking down, watching his fingers for a moment, you grinned. “Well, we’ve been through a lot, Alicia is my best friend, and before all of this and I was staying with them. We’ve been through a lot as a group, why wouldn’t we look at each other as family?” You questioned as you felt his hand pull away from you, leaving a strange coldness to run through your body. Finding yourself struggling for the warmth that this stranger had provided you, your hand reached out to take hold of his. Only for a knock on the door to stop you before you were able to touch. “Troy, we’ve got a situation.” Watching as he stood up, your eyes locked with his for one more moment, he couldn’t seem to help giving you a cheeky smile, before turning and opening the door and leaving you alone.

You stared at the door for a few moments, willing it to open and for him to walk back inside, but you knew that was silly. Standing up, you turned and walked over to the couch across the room and sat down. Guilt entered your body as you thought about what had just happened, even if you’d hardly been anywhere near each other, you felt very guilty, as if you were betraying your family. You were almost thankful for the distraction, whoever, or whatever it was had saved you from a moment of complete and utter betrayal, something you weren’t looking to ever do against the Clark family.

You couldn’t help but wonder how any of them would’ve reacted if they had found you together, his hand on your arm, or your hand holding his. There was something about Troy, a strange pull that you found yourself having to him. But you chose to shake it off; it had to be because you missed Nick that was it, that was the reason. Wasn’t it? If only you knew that the reason he left the room was because of Nick, and Travis. Would that change anything? Maybe, but the woman that Nick had with him, was going to cause a big change for you.

You must’ve fallen asleep, because the door flying open caused you to sit up and shake your head. “Y/N, come on! We’re getting out of here.” Getting up, you made your way to the door and froze as you saw what Madison was doing to Troy. Covering your mouth, you pulled your eyes away, knowing you couldn’t look at that. “Y/n, come on!” Pulling your eyes away, you looked at Alicia. “Alicia go and get a car, Y/N try and find our weapons.” You nodded as Madison ordered you to do something; you however couldn’t get that image of Troy out of your mind, it caused a strange uneasy feeling in your stomach. You were sure you could feel the acid starting to move into your throat as you ran. You tried to fight the urge, as your stomach started to flip. “Come on Y/N, focus.”

Thankfully, everyone was more focused on Madison and what she was doing; you were able to find where they’d been holding the guns. But as you rounded the corner you came face to face with a gun. “Hands above your head!” He ordered, causing you to slowly raise your hands above your head, he moved and pulled your arms behind you and started to drag you out. “I can fucking walk!” You snapped as he dragged you to the pit. “Little thief.” He uttered into your ear as he dragged you there, you tried your best to fight him, but knowing he had a gun, sort of didn’t help you.

As you arrived at the pit, your eyes landed on Travis, Alicia and Madison. Rushing over, you hugged them, as someone ordered the solder holding you to let you go. “Thank God you’re-.“ You found yourself pausing and turning around to see him, see Nick. Your heart fluttered, but instantly dropped into your stomach as you saw the girl he was with. Bitter, sickening feeling filled you as you realized that in your mind you’d been chasing a ghost, there were no feelings between you and Nick, not the way you wanted there to be anyway, and that girl was just proof of it all. How could you have been so damn stupid? “Come on, we’re going to get Luciana some treatment, then we’re going.” Looking away from Nick, and the beautiful girl he was with, you followed after them, your heart sinking and feeling as if it was broken.

You guessed the main thing right now was that at least you were all back together now; the family would be able to leave as a group. “Could someone get some more bandages?” Looking up, you nodded softly. “I’ll go.” Walking to the infirmary, you couldn’t believe Nick. Were you just something to pass the time while stuck on the boat? Had those moments together not meant a single thing? That kiss the two of you shared after you nearly died, was that nothing? You guessed it didn’t, guessed that something about that moment had been nothing but a cruel trick. You found yourself wanting to cry, needing to. But you refused to, as the tears appeared, you blinked them away.

“Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here.” You spoke softly as you walked into the room. Watching the man stand up, you smiled softly. “How are you?” You asked Troy feeling stupid for having to ask that. “Well, someone nearly took my eye, but I guess I’m alright.” Watching him fold his arms, you looked away for a moment, your eyes glancing down. “I should get what I came for and go.” You whispered. “Y/N?” Looking up at him, you found him stood a lot closer now, your heart fluttering as you stared into each other’s eyes. “Come with me; come back to the compound with me. Leave them. Please.” Had you fallen when you were grabbed by that solder earlier, this had to be a dream. How could this person who hardly knew you, ask you to come with them to places unknown?

Feeling his hand touching your cheek, your head shot up. The distance that had been between the two of you was closed, standing with your bodies close to each other you felt your heart pounding. His thumb brushed over your cheek. “Come with me, you’ll be safe. Please.” His head started to tilt as he looked into your conflicted eyes. “Please.” He whispered as he leaned in to press his lips against yours, you found yourself leaning in too. Wanting to taste this man in front of you, regardless of what he’d just done to your family. Something about him pulled you in, every moment you were together, your heart fluttered and you felt alive. He was forthcoming with his feelings, unlike Nick who clearly never wanted you.

“Y/N!” The voice hit your ears, just as your lips were about to touch Troy’s. Pulling away, you turned around. “I’m in here.” You called, clearing your throat as Nick walked inside. “Is everything okay?” You nodded with a small smile. “Yeah, Troy was just getting me some bandages from his pack.” You lied, looking over at Troy who nodded and pulled some from his bag. “Here you go.” Taking them from his hand, you felt that same jolt of electric that had ran through your body on the first meeting. “Think about it.” He whispered softly. Pulling away, he went back to sorting his pack to leave.

Catching up with Nick, you made your way back. “Y/N…” You didn’t dare look at Nick, so many questions bubbling inside of you as you walked. “Whatever it is, can wait Nick. We have to go and help your girlfriend.” You rushed away, but found yourself stopping dead as you saw the infected coming from the other side of the hanger. Before you could even speak, Nick had run off to help them. Looking at the bandages in your hand, you put them into your pocket and raced over to help too. “Get back!” Finding something to fight with, you moved toward Madison and started to fight alongside her.

“Y/N, behind you.” Spinning around you saw an infected moving in to bite you, it was as if someone had placed a spell on you at that moment, you weren’t able to move as it reached out. “Y/N!” You could hear Nick shouting for you, but you still couldn’t raise your weapon, not when it looked like your dad. It was nearly upon you when a gunshot rang out and it was taken out. “Come on, get in the truck!” Looking up, you saw Troy and his men in their truck. “Madison, we have to go.” You told her, snapping out of the trance. “Nick, come on!” You made your way toward the truck, fighting off the dead. You could see Nick wanted to go for the chopper, but right now they needed to just go. “It’s our only option, come on!”

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The music blared in the car; you could feel your eyes fighting with the temptation to close, even if the music was ear splittingly loud, you wanted to fall asleep. It apparently didn’t go unnoticed, especially when you finally gave in and your head landed on Nick’s shoulder. At that point, Madison got up from her seat to reach over and turn the music off. Glancing back, Troy noticed you asleep, a slight smile tugging against his lips as he saw that you were sleeping peacefully. “Nice to see someone is able to sleep.” He commented, causing Nick to roll his eyes. “If you hadn’t separated us from her last night, I’m sure she would’ve actually been able to sleep.” Nick glanced over at his mom at this point, surprised that you had been taken away from them.

You weren’t really sure when it was that you woke up, but your head was still on Nick’s shoulder and his head was resting gently on yours. It was a strange feeling, but at the same time it was one that was soothing. “Welcome back to the land of the living.” You glanced up and your eyes landed on Troy’s, he was looking through the rearview mirror and you couldn’t help but smile as he looked at you. “What time is it?” You questioned softly not wanting to risk waking up Nick if he was asleep. “Nearly eight, you seemed to need a lot of sleep.” Troy explained. You couldn’t help but laugh softly. “I didn’t think I was that tired.” You said finally, your eyes glancing out the window. “You must feel safe.” He responded, causing your eyes to flicker toward Nick’s sleeping form. “I guess so.” You uttered as you looked back up at the mirror and gave Troy a smile.

As the truck came to a stop at set of gates, you looked out and raised an eyebrow. “This is your ranch?” You questioned, but Troy was busy talking and the driver had barely spoken to any of you the whole trip. “Get out of the truck.” The three of you glanced at each other. “What?” Troy raised his voice at this point, telling the three of you to get out of the truck. Doing as you were told, you stood there watching as the truck drove in and left the three of you outside of the gates. Leaving Nick and Madison to have a talk, you walked slowly along the fence for a moment, before taking a seat on the grass and looking up at the sky.

It had been a long time since you’d just sat and looked at the world passing you by. Even at the hotel you weren’t able to just relax, everyone else made it their home, but you struggled, you spent your time worrying about Nick, where he was and about where your parents were as well, and if they were alive. You loved the Clark family, that was never up for debate, but the problem was, you found yourself unable to think of anyone but your mother and father sometimes and you found yourself becoming rather broken.

Pulling your legs up, you hadn’t been aware that Nick was watching you until a hand touched your shoulder. “Hey.” He said softly, taking a seat beside you. “Are you alright?” He questioned. Did he notice the tears that were forming in your eyes, or was he just making sure that you were okay. “I’m alright; it’s been a long few weeks.” You admitted, skipping around the fact that you had been worried sick about Nick, worried about your parents, worried about everything. His arm moved to wrap around you, your body tensed up feeling him close to you.  He was with Lucy now, this hug… it didn’t mean anything and you knew that, but it didn’t stop you from feeling that pounding heart.

Pulling away from Nick, you looked down at the grass and pulled a clump of it with your hand. Opening your hand, you let the grass blow away from the palm of your hand and let out a gentle sigh. “If they’re not back yet, where do you think they are?” You said suddenly. “I don’t know, but I want to go find them, Mom says we have to wait.” Nodding softly, you glanced over at him. “She’s right, we need to be patient. We don’t know where they are and being here, being with these people we have a common goal.” Looking up, noticing Madison talking to someone, he was moving to open the gate. “Nick.” You said quickly, before standing up and walking over to the gate with them.

There was so much about this place that surprised you, Jeremiah showed you to a cabin where you could all live. You wouldn’t deny that already you were starting to think about what would happen if you stayed here; would it be so bad if you made this place your home? You knew that Nick and Madison were only really here for Alicia, Travis, and Lucy, but did you really belong in this family? You weren’t sure anymore, so the idea of staying here, it appeared in your mind. “I’m going to go… explore.” You explained, but as you made your way toward the door Nick grabbed your arm. “Don’t, stay here with us.” You pulled your arm away. “Sorry Nick, but you can’t tell me what to do.” You glanced up at him, before walking out. Of course you didn’t know that the moment you walked out of the room Nick would blame this new attitude on Troy, telling Madison that you’d not been the same since he’d been back in the group. Maybe if he wasn’t clueless, maybe then he’d understand.

You should’ve probably had a wash before leaving, but it was only your jacket that was covered in blood. Pealing it off, you threw it on the ground by the cabin and started to walk. It was beautiful here, so untouched by the dead. There were children running around, laughing, and playing. People were interacting like neighbors, family, friends, you wanted this, and you wanted to be here. Looking around some more, you stopped and watched a game of soccer that was going on not far away from you, the kids looked so happy. Had they even been subjected to what was going on outside these fences? So many civilians, it was really quite surprising, especially with the military protection.

“Glad you came?” Turning around, you found yourself sandwiched between Troy and the fence behind you. “This place is beautiful.” You responded with a soft grin. “As for coming here, we didn’t have much of a choice in the end.” Troy chuckled softly, and nodded, as he reached out and touched your cheek. “I’m glad you’re here, out there is far too horrible for someone like you.” You didn’t realize that he was leaning in, his fingers lightly tracing your cheek. “Someone like me, what do you mean by that?” You questioned softly. “Beautiful, strong, intelligent.” You couldn’t help but shake your head. “Troy… you hardly even know me.” You pointed out to him as he moved his fingers down your neck as his thumb ran over your lips. “I want to though.” He uttered, his body pressing ever so slightly against yours as he closed the space between you and pressed his lips against yours.

The kiss wasn’t as sweet as his words had been, instead it was hard. There was passion and desire under the surface as he gripped hold of your neck to hold you against him, your arms moved and rested on his hips as you returned the kiss. You lost yourself for the first real time in a long time, this kiss was nothing like the one you’d shared with Nick, that kiss had been sweet, soft, tender. This was filled with need, want, desire, and you couldn’t deny that you felt it too. You didn’t care if he’d tried to kill your family, or about anything else he’d done. Right now, all you cared about was what would happen when your lips parted.

His lips finally broke from yours, your eyes met and there was a smile on your face just as there was one on his. Leaning in, you pressed your lips to his swollen lips once more, before pulling away again. Neither of you spoke however, you just looked at each other, arms still wrapped around each other. Resting his head against yours after a second, Troy then pulled away as he sensed you two were no longer alone.

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Looking from Troy over to where Nick stood staring at the pair of you, you felt your heart sinking. “Nick.” You uttered softly. How long had he been stood there? Had he seen the two of you kissing, or was he angry over the closeness that the pair of you currently shared? You weren’t sure.  “What the hell are you doing with this guy?” Nick snapped pushing Troy away from you, anger in his face. “Nick!” You shouted trying to push him back. “Nick, stop!” But Nick wasn’t listening; he moved and swung a punch, hitting Troy in the jaw. “Nick!” Troy looked up, his hand held his jaw as he wiggled it from side to side. “I suggest you listen to Y/N, Nick. Otherwise you’ll regret it!” Troy’s words left his lips and they caused Nick to move to shove him once again, this time you were able to move between them and push Nick back.

“Back to the cabin Nick, now!” You snapped at him, shoving him away from Troy. Moving to walk after Nick, you glanced back at Troy for a moment, then turned and made your way after him. Nick was so frustrating, why was he acting like this? Moving after him, you folded your arms and let out a gentle sigh, you felt pretty awful right now. While you couldn’t help but smile a little about the kiss you’d shared with Troy, you couldn’t help but wonder what on earth it was that was bothering Nick so damn much. Part of you thought maybe it was jealousy, but the other part of you knew it wasn’t, it was because he’d nearly killed the family.

Arriving at the cabin, you stepped inside and slammed the door loudly behind you. “What the hell was that?” Nick yelled before you could get a word in. “It’s me who should be asking you that Nick!” You near enough screamed at him. “He nearly killed our family!” You shook your head hard. “No Nick, he nearly killed YOUR family, this family. It’s not my fault. I leave and you all just carry on, we’re not blood, none of you actually care about me, not to the degree you claim to. I’m just someone who has been with you since the start.” Your voice fell as you spoke, you felt your heart start to sink as you came to terms with the truth.

“That is bullshit and you know it Y/N, we love you, you’re a member of our family! To have you messing with that… that asshole, you’re betraying our family!” Staring at him, you wanted to badly to bring your arm up and slap him across the face, but you couldn’t do it. You weren’t sure if Nick saw your fists clench for a second, but the instant that they relaxed, you looked up at him and sighed. “That isn’t true Nick, that isn’t true at all. I’m always going to be picked last like if we were in gym class Nick, you, Alicia, your Mom all come before I do. You might call me family, but if I killed someone and was told I had to leave somewhere, I’d be cast out alone, because your safety, the three of yours, is more important.”

There was a long pause, your eyes looked down at your feet and you couldn’t help but find yourself shaking your head slowly as he denied it. “It’s not true, we’d not let that happen.” Scoffing rather loudly, you looked away and sighed. “Not true Nick, you say it’s not true, but look at Strand. Look what happened when he killed Thomas and wouldn’t kill himself, he was cast out and no one went with him. The only reason we were going too was because the place got set on fire.” Nick looked down at you, his soft puppy eyes looking down at you, reaching out his fingers traced your cheek causing you to pull away. “It’s not true, I’d come with you.”

You’d just made it onto the Abigail; you’d already been patched up and now were lying on a bed below deck. Staring up at the ceiling a soft sigh leaving your lips as you tried to focus on anything but the pain radiating through your shoulder. “Y/N?” Sitting up as you heard Nick calling for you, you stood up and slowly moved to the door and opened it. “Nick?” You asked seeing him walking past. He stopped and turned back to look at you. “Hey, I wanted to make sure you were alright.” Looking at him you couldn’t help but smile ever so softly. “Coming to play Doctor are you?” There was a low chuckle from Nick’s lips and he found himself grinning as he moved into the room. “Maybe I am.” He teased coming to take a seat beside you. Slipping your jacket off and pulling your arm out of your shirt so that he could look, you looked down.

“What you did, that was rather brave. Ofelia owes you her life.” You let out a soft chuckle and shook your head. “No, she doesn’t. I was just protecting our own.” You commented as you felt Nick’s fingers running over your body and fixing up your shoulder. “Don’t be so modest.” He whispered, you could feel his breath on his shoulder. Looking up, your eyes met his and as you stared at each other, you found yourself leaning in; his fingers fell from your shoulder and ran gently down your arm. Your lips met his, as your hand moved to cup his face. It was a soft and sweet kiss, but it was strong and full of desire. It pulled the air from your lungs. Breaking the kiss, you had to wonder if that meant he wanted you the way you wanted him.

His touch brought you back to that moment, reminded you of what it felt like when he’d kissed you. That moment you’d been convinced that maybe, just maybe there was going to be something between you, but after that first kiss, nothing ever happened. “Nick.” You found yourself whispering softly, looking up at him. You’d not expected it, but a second later his lips were upon yours. But your heart no longer fluttered, your body no longer responded to him. Pulling away after only a second, you moved back needing to create the space between the two of you. “Don’t you dare, you’re with Lucy. Don’t.” You repeated, your hand moving to slap him. It was the first time you’d ever hit anyone, but Nick deserved it after that. Stepping back away from him, you shook your head slowly your eyes looking down away from you. You needed to make the space between them, needed him to get away from you right now.

“I’m sorry, I.” You shook your head softly. “Do not even start Nick.” You snapped shaking your head. “You do this to me every time Nick, you do this to everyone!” You snapped trying to keep the distance between the two of you. “You never cared for me Nick.” You whispered, your eyes looking away from his. “The last however many years that I’ve known you Nick, you’ve used me. You don’t care; you don’t even look at me like someone you’ve ever felt anything for!” You spoke feeling a sinking feeling inside of your chest. “It all makes sense now really, the times you showed up, pretended to care about me, only to then borrow money, you never cared about me, you cared about yourself, you cared about you and you only. I was just too blind to see it, you never wanted me.”

Nick shook his head softly, moving closer to you. His hands moved to hold your arms at your sides, his eyes locked on yours. “No, that isn’t true; it’s not true at all Y/N. I have always cared about you, I promise you.” Pulling away, you shook your head. “Your promises mean nothing Nick…” You trailed off, pulling yourself from his grip once again. “Did either of the kisses we ever shared mean anything?” You questioned softly, you looked him directly in the eyes and waited for an answer. “I love you Y/N… but not in the way you want me to.” You didn’t know how to react at that moment; you felt anger, annoyance, heartbreak, and so many other things bubbling up inside of you. “Then you can’t tell me what to do, at all!”