#ftb minecraft

Me: Huh? I put it in the chest, I think.

Dad: It's not there. I checked all of- oh my fucking god, go into 3rd person view.

Me: Why, what- oh, that's funny. I didn't even notice!

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Me: *Obtained a random event stick with a 'when equipped' slot that gives me a moment of pause*

Me: *Is having a terrible thought*

Me: *Is debating on if I should do it*

Me: *Won't have any other better chance to do it and equips it*

Me: *Casually walks up next to my dad and crouches*

Me: *execute flatulance.exe*

Dad: ... What the hell- was that- Do that again.

Me: *crouches and poots again*

Dad: *is now laughing, I have won*

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Dad: Okay, we need to get rid of this Questing Ram. It keeps knocking into me when I'm trying to craft.

Me: Got it. *Puts it into the Ender-Lead*

Stoneblock 4: *About to do what is called a Pro-Gamer Move*

Stoneblock 4: *Immediately spawns yet another Questing Ram*

Dad: Okay, that's timing.

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Dad: Is this... Why does it say -100% Gravity?

Me: Wear it.

Dad: Okay, nothing's- oh, I'm floating... I have stopped moving upwards- oh shit, there's that damn goat- aaaaand... Why am I not falling?

Me: Did a goat really just knock you off a ledge?

Dad: I think my anti-gravity stick saved me. The hell?

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Dad: I got the tech stuff, you want to do the magic stuff?

Me: I just got us a geologist and an archaeologist. I also just got us a level 22 iron chicken. let me know when you get the materials for tier 4 chicken seeds and I can get us renewable tier 4 materials.

Dad: You discovering what you can grow chicken seeds was a game-changer.

Me: Me realizing I can breed higher tier chickens for the tier souls was the real game changer.

Dad: Yes, that too. Why are we leveling the iron chicken up again?

Me: You wanted more iron, yeah?

Dad: yes?

Me: It used to be 1:1 seed to resource, now it's like... 1:12 seed to resource.

Dad: Oooooo. Nice.

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Me: *Obtains a new stick, notices the name*

Me: Heeeey, Daaaad?

Dad: What's up?

Me: This is a stick-up! Give me all yer coins! *tosses the event stick to my dad*

But one of the two summoned (invulnerable) dogs is just living a great old life right now. And it's not even because path-finding issues- the other stood up there without spinning.

I think the personal shrinking device is still the best thing, here.

I want you all to imagine something with me. A scenario, if you will.

There's a relic in-game that lets you run at your enemies and deal damage to them. The Minotaur Hoof, it's called. You build up speed, run right at your enemy, and BAM! It damages them. And as long as you maintain your momentum, you can deal all the damage you want because these hooves also reduce the incoming damage you take.

Now imagine that the Minotaur is the size of an ant, but still capable of hitting as strong, and still just as resistive. Just... impossible to hit, because the literal hit-box of the ant-sized Minotaur has not remained the same as a regular Minotaur.

Now stop to realize that I am that Ant-Sized Minotaur. I also cannot stay poisoned (amoung other things) because I have an antidote bottle at my hip and it reduces how long I'm affected by negatives effects, and the visuals for my Flame-Fist are turned off, but I can also punch entities to set them on fire.

I have also two certain worms from Twilight Forest in my charm slots, so I keep hitting things, running away, dealing more damage to entities before I return to them, and getting rewarded with cake when they die.

If anything does hit me, my Hydra-Heart sets the ground on fire and I still don't really take damage because the only stat of mine that has changed is my avatar's physical size and my shield (currently stowed) gives me too much Armor and Armor Toughness. She still has all her armor on- not that you can see it- and buffs.

I am, as my father put is so nicely, "an Ecological Menace. And not a good one."

Is this the most optimal method of fighting mobs? No. Not at all. I have my scythe and shield for a reason. But is it fun to run around and play chicken with mobs I know full well aren't any threat to me and turn them into flambeed cake?

Dad: The hallway where you had to disobey gravity in a very specific pattern?

Me: Yep.

Dad: I already had armor with creative flight by then, and the armor you enchanted for me that teleported me when I took damage. Sorry to say, I cheesed it.

Me: Shit. Well, I have a stick that gives me creative flight. Let's see if I can cheese this one.

Dad: The hell you say? We spent hours together in our shared world and no Creative Flight stick popped into our inventories. Is it because you're playing hardcore?

Me: Or it's because I've got that lucky stick in my inventory and am willing to idle overnight and while at work for more sticks. I have three slots I can equip them into, and multiple bundles that can hold 64 individual items.

Dad: Speaking off... that's your quiver status?

Dad, upon seeing my set up for automation turning netherrack into nether quartz ore: Huh. You know you've got a chicken that can make the the gem itself a lot faster, right?

Me: Yep. But I want Netherite Armor before I even begin to attempt combat and haven't gotten an Echo Shard, yet.

Dad: And you get it from... nether quartz?

Me: No, but the lens of the miner has a chance to spawn in ancient debris when used on netherrack.

Dad: What's the odds?

Me: 3000 for Nether Quartz and 20 for Ancient Debris. Larger number means more likely.

Dad: So, you'll never get it.

Me: I bet you I will, just because you said that.

Me, not even thirty minutes later: Holy shit, I got it.

Dad: The fuck you did. I'll always love you, but I don't like you very much right now.

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I took pictures to commemorate this moment. Now I just got to figure out replica ore before getting an echo shard and without getting into combat.