#fsustarter

Everyone really needs to start keeping track of where their stuff goes when they. well, sleep over. This is the third time this week I've had to help a poor girl get her bra of the ceiling fan in the frat – and I don't even want to know how it got there.

Today I found twenty bucks on the ground, and I think it was a message from Jesus Christ himself. I'm still not sure what he could be trying to tell me but I'm determined to find out. Either that, or someone dropped it on their way out of Taco Bell. I like to believe the big man upstairs and I have a pretty strong connection, though. 

Who enjoyed that little shitshow on the announcements today? I quite liked the song they put on instead of the usual introduction –– you and me baby, we're nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel..

So, fun story... I went for a jog today and everything was going smoothly until I lapped the stadium. Whoever thought it was okay to shout my name right before I got to the Chief Osceola statue was seriously mistaken. I'm pretty sure I left a mark. 

Evading your first performance review like––

Has anyone seen this eyeglass case with a checkerboard pattern on it? I was borrowing The House of Hades from the library and it's suddenly dissappeared. I'll give you anything I can afford if anyone finds it.

Baked spaghetti is hands down the best thing in the world. The end. Oh, I didn't burn the kitchen down I think I should get a high five for that.

I held in pee all day because I couldn't find a restroom. My bladder is a force to be reckoned with. I think it's got something so powerful that mankind is not ready for it. I've probably got the key to the universe hidden up in my bladder... My bladder is the fucking fountain of youth.