#frwad

🎵For Reasons Wretched and Divine

by indiaalphawhiskey | cover art by pass-the-pencil

Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Explicit | 94.6k | Complete

Tags: Alternate Universe, Friends to Enemies, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Bullying, Homophobic Language, Betrayal, Angst, Unrealistic Sex

Ten years ago, Harry Styles was just a nerdy kid with one friend and a debilitating crush on the captain of his school’s football team. He thought the stars were smiling down on him the day he and Louis Tomlinson were paired for their end-of-term Literature project. But because Harry’s life is decidedly not a fairytale, the budding friendship quickly leads to the least happy ending of all time.

Now, Harry Styles is a household name. Barely twenty-seven with two Grammy nominations to his name, the singer-songwriter is poised to take the music industry by storm with his highly anticipated third album. So, what happens when the best producer in the business is also the only person Harry’s vowed never to speak to again?

The McKirk epic officially has a title!

For Reasons Wretched and Divine

I’m currently working on chapter 4 - the first appearance of The Great Angst™.  Len and Jim have not yet met, and will likely not meet for at least another 4 chapters.  It’s going to be hella slow burn.

This chapter is also already about 1900 words and not even half over yet.

Fucking yikes.

Writing so good, even your haters can’t deny it. 😉

Ahhhhhhh!!!! Dude, this ask made my day! 🙈

First of all, I love the word frenetic as well! (I might use it a little too often, but I can’t help it.)

Second, honestly, there is something so special and genuinely flattering about getting asks/comments/kudos on old fic and finding out that someone still enjoys it as much as they do regardless of the time that’s passed.

It’s such a different kind of achievement to know it’s not only about putting stuff out, but that the stuff that’s already there still matters, and that novelty isn’t the only thing that calls to someone. So, thank you thank you thank you so much. ❤️

I love that you want to re-read it, too. And you know what, it reminded me that I commissioned a book cover for it, and never got around to printing it.

Anyway, thank you thank you thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. ❤️

But my question! In the first half, when do you think Louis started to have feelings for Harry? Do you think he picked Harry for the project because of an underlying attraction that he didn’t understand? And if that’s the case, when do you think he admitted the attraction to himself? The tattoo?

would just love to hear your thoughts!

Hey, love!

So, first off, I hope you know that you’re never ever too late to ask a question about something I’ve written, and I think every single author in fandom will agree. There’s no more genuine compliment than knowing something you wrote is still being read (or re-read) and that your characters are still being thought about, even after the novelty wears off. Honestly, you’ve made my week with this ask alone, so thank you so much! ❤️

Second, your question. I definitely think Louis picked Harry because of an underlying attraction he didn’t understand. There are two really important things (lines? quotes?) that inspired my version of younger Harry, and those are:

“Babe,

there’s something tragic about you,

something so magic about you,

don’t you agree?”

— From Eden, by Hozier

(this is why it’s the opening song on the For Reasons Wretched and Divine playlist)

And

“Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss... […] But every once in a while, you find someone who's iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.”

— Flipped, by Wendelin Van Draanen

Both, I think, illustrate how Louis felt about Harry from the very beginning. It’s that inexplicable intrigue, that fascination, that pull you feel towards someone, when you don’t yet know or don’t yet allow yourself to call it attraction. I think that all Louis could admit to himself at the time was how much he wanted to know Harry, and he wasn’t really ready to look into why.

And, yes, the tattoo was definitely the first italicized Oh in Louis’ head. I remember writing that and wanting the reader to feel the obvious and indisputable realization that this was very much Not Platonic; that seeing that tattoo made Louis’ sexual attraction towards Harry pretty undeniable. 😉

I recently finished For Reasons Wretched and Divine (and still need to leave a comment at AO3) but I'm happy to take the opportunity to say thank you. I loved the vulnerability and the strength of the Harry character in that story. How he was in some ways resigned to being pigeonholed as the class weirdo but how he also maintained a quiet, determined inner strength and belief in himself that allowed him to move forward to the next, surely better, phase of his life (and boy did that pay off).

It's a combination I see (and love) in so many wildly creative people and in the real Harry himself. I love how that aspect of him played such a beautiful role in the story.

This is a really really touching and lovely insight. Sometimes, when you write characters, you write what feels true to you and you don’t really think about how much of that character will resonate with others.

Every so often, I’ll get an anon like this about my young Harry and I feel so fulfilled because I feel like I’ve done justice to who I think Harry is, and that I’ve made the character so much more than one piece of a love story.

You’re very sweet, thank you. 😘

As much as I’d like to take credit — say I’m psychic, or some such amazingly mystical thing — the truth is, I’ve always just believed in him and felt it was just about the world catching up.

Someone just pointed this out to me, and I’m... 🥺🥺🥺

Happy 27th Birthday, H. Always knew you would do it. ♥️