keep trying to work on our AAC but ive had a "low energy day" for the past two months??
i both know why (the obvious ignoring of limits) and don't (doesn't really. leave when i acknowledge them) but it's mostly just
like i don't have the energy to form thoughts. and make them words. and communicate those. ever. it's just exhausting
i don't have the energy to like, go up to someone and remember all the normal respected "how are yous" that people have, and i don't have the energy to ask how someones day is, or thank them for something, or show something i found cool, or even be like "hey im not avoiding/angry or anything my brain is just soup. like it's. soup? like it's literally lukewarm, barely defrosted mush like it's SOUP like, hey."
MUSH. like, i haven't woken up, with our normal level of speech in fucking forever. i literally wake up and i FEEL like i just read out an essay to someone. i wake up exhausted and just confused??? cause am i fatigued? do i need a break? what do i need a break from, am i tired???
like it's soup??? my thoughts are sheer silence and if i try to mix into something cohesive, it just starts sloshing onto the floor. like i watch it collapse on itself mid sentence and i haven't even gone through the "does this make sense" and "could be misintepreted??" as some weird chunky mess of my thoughts refuses to make sense