Hey Space Monkey, I passed on a lot of good opportunities that were "on the beaten track" and decided to blaze my own trail. Now I think I might have made a mistake.
I thought I was special but I think I'm not meant for business. I owe more money than I can make back any time soon. Those golden opportunities are gone.
I walked away from my social groups and connections for persuasive abstractions and now I'm not sure it was worth it. I keep my mind clear and I am careful how I conclude about things. I will keep working at it, though since I've dropped out of college and left the military and ditched the promising startup that had so much room for career growth and social connections, I'm a bit empty of ideas what to do with myself and how.
I insisted that freedom was more important to me than money, and I know it's a fact but I might have overcorrected the desire for material abundance into a fake religious asceticism that has benefitted no one.
Not me, nor my loved ones. I thought at least that the other primates might benefit from the insights I've gathered from my time in the wilderness and isolation. However, the current state of affairs tells me that the only ones who are interested are my closest relatives and not because they care about the information but they just care about my wellbeing.
I came here through the navelgazing quote which I found to be so fitting to a situation I was in, where I was attempting to teach a couple navelgazers how to think more broadly but instead I found myself navelgazing along with them.
This is probably a wall of text pointing to my activity of navelgazing even now. I perpetually feel as though I've had it with this money game but the world runs on money and I think this is exactly the attitude that guided my wasting of unique and beautiful opportunities.
Anyway I love you Space Monkey thanks for reading it. Glad I imagined this one. It is so much better than a lot of other things I've imagined. <3 This is too heartfelt to leave on a blog that no-one ever reads but me. Don’t harsh on yourself, whoever you are. It may seem to you that you’ve “gone too far” in many respects, but maybe that's because you haven’t gone far enough. Go just a little bit further and maybe you will lose that doubt.
