#frientimacy

this might be surprising to hear but i was pretty popular in high school. no i wasn’t the popular girl but i was pretty well-liked. at least well-liked enough to be invited out often and even elected class president.  despite my “popularity”, i felt like i had no friends. a feeling that has continued even going into my third year of college. the keyword here is felt. the truth is i did have friends but our relationships weren’t as deep as i wanted them to be.

i know how to make friends but i don’t know how to develop friendships. and friendships are so important. many of you may be longing for friendships too under the pressure social distancing initiatives. while i will not be taking this time to meet up with people, i will still reach out to them and read up on how i can have the relationships i want.  currently, im listening to shasta nelson’s friendships don’t just happen on audible. so far, i’ve learned so much about dropping society’s unrealistic notions about the nature of friendships--that your best friend must be someone you clicked with instantly, that your friends should be able to read your mind, and, most imprinted on me, that your friends have to initiate just as often as you do. 

instead, friendship is about getting to know someone and gradually spending more time together and sharing more thoughts with one another. friend is about communicating what you want in the relationship and giving someone opportunities to bring joy into both your lives. friendship is about initiating because you are just happy being around someone and not because it is your turn. 

it is worth the listen.